Holy fuck, help me!

[HarshingMyMellow]

I split up with my partner a few months ago, he walked out and I haven't heard from him since.

Before we split up I had a miscarriage.

I've been feeling rough lately (fatigue) so did a few pregnancy tests which all came back negative, I am still having periods.

I went to the GP this morning after having some blood tests done a week ago and he's informed me that I am in fact pregnant.
I haven't slept with anyone since splitting up with my partner, and going by the last time we slept together (calculations on period tracker app) I could be as much as 20 weeks!
I can't understand it. The negative pregnancy tests, still having regular periods, no morning sickness. Nothing!

I am in a state of shock. I don't know what to do.
I already have toddler DD (ex hasn't seen her since he left either) and now I have to make all these decisions I don't want to make.
I was taking the pill too.

I've got to visit the clinic next week for a dating scan, if I am as far along as I have worked out I'll have a week to decide what to do.
I can't have another baby on my own with no support, I doubt ex will do much. I have no family to talk to.

What do I do? What would you do?
I feel physically sick with worry.

[HarshingMyMellow]

God I sound so awful.

I am happy. Really happy.
To see that little baby kicking about on the screen was the happiest I've felt in a long while.

But, I am panicking about how I'm going to cope.

[HarshingMyMellow]

Thank you for your messages. I need all the support,well-wishes and strength I can get at the minute!

[Namechangeforthiscancershit]

That’s not awful it’s totally understandable. You’ve been through so much.

But you are absolutely going to cope. Look at what you’ve already got through.

[Lisaloolops]

I can imagine how you are feeling OP x I remember when my marriage broke down and I was on my own with my 2 boys, one of which was only 18 months old, it was so hard I found myself wishing I hadn't had him on occasion and felt awful about it. But now they are 7 and 13, I have met a wonderful new partner and I look at my boys and am so glad that things happened the way they did and I wouldn't be without either of them, I always wanted 2 as well which is why I had the second one even though I suspected I may end up alone with them x things won't always be this hard and who knows what lies ahead for you? Be kind to yourself and give yourself some time to get your head around it all x hugs x

[3girlmama]

That's such exciting news OP! But I can totally understand how scary it is and what a big thing it is to get your head around xxxxx

[violeticecream]

Congratulations. It's meant to be

[sunshinewithabitofdrizzle]

Congratulations OP, and good luck.

[HarshingMyMellow]

I think what has made matters worse is my dads reaction to the news.

He is furious.

Thinks I was irresponsible to get pregnant again with DD still being so young, that it's going to be a struggle because ExP walked away, that I won't cope...

I think it's the shock for him too but now we have fallen out because I will not tolerate anyone(!) talking to me like that.
Just another thing that I didn't need.

Thank you all and @Lisaloolops I'm glad it all worked out for you.

[GrandTheftWalrus]

Is he maybe furious because he's worried about you and it's came out wrong?

But what a lovely www Christmas surprise. So something good has came from this for you x

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

If your dad is normally lovely I'd put it down to him being scared for you. You know him best. But you're completely right not to tolerate him talking to you like that.

[LaPufalina]

You will cope!
Great that baby is healthy, best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy.

[LunchBoxPolice]

Congratulations OP.

[MrFMercury]

I can only imagine what you're feeling. Big unmumnetty hugs x

[gindrinkingmarypoppins]

Oh OP. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I was in a similar situation last year, found out I was pregnant at 40 and horrified. He is now the absolute light of my life, and I feel terrible for (seriously) contemplating a termination at Gge time, the shock was overwhelming.

You'll be okay

[YoureAllABunchOfBastards]

Congratulations and

[Beaverhausen]

Congrats OP and you will be fine us mothers always manage. Xx

[Buffythevampireslayerr]

Congratulations OP. You got this.

[Oopsmeagain]

I’m pleased to hear all is well OP
Congratulations!

Hopefully your dad will come round, he will be as shocked as you were or perhaps more so if he didn’t know about the ‘miscarriage’.

You will be great with your two kids, yes it will be tough at times but i’m sure you’ll do a great job

[shinyredbus]

what a suportive father you have - also an arsehole.

Congratulations OP - you are strong enough to do this - you are already bring up your daughter without help from her useless father. Be proud of yourself - if you were my mum, i would be so very proud of you.

[28holid]

I can relate to this so much.

I was 19 weeks when I found out about DS, but 20 weeks by the time I managed to get a scan. I didn't want any more children, we were together but had only just got back after being separated, we had children, we had no more room in the house, what about work etc? It was a joy to see the baby on the screen but an absolute thud of reality at the same time.

All I can tell you is that DS is now 8, and everything I worried about, both practically and emotionally, turned out to be just fine.

[CardinalCat]

OP, I've been thinking about you all weekend!

I am so glad to hear that you were happy when you saw the scan. Everything else will fall into place, and this baby will be so so loved. You'll make it work. Your dad will come around once he's processed his shock and his feelings on the matter. And a small age gap will be tough in the early days, but there are also lots of benefits to having siblings close in age.

We are here for you OP if you need a handhold or any practical advice/ emotional support.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Congratulations Harshing!
It might not be the ideal situation but at least its'a fairly straightforward one, and even though your father is being unsupportive at the moment, hopefully he'll get his head straight and realise that there is no point in being angry with you!

You can do this - best of luck. x

[Ratarse]

Lovely to hear back from you. 'What's for you, won't go by you'. The best of luck to you, you'll all be absolutely fine.

[LeroyJenkins]

you'll be fine xx

[HarshingMyMellow]

Thank you all for your posts.

I'm still processing things. Me and my dad still aren't talking and I've now got to work out a way to tell ExP that the baby is on the way. Burnt out to the max!

On the other hand, I've started to feel little flutters in my belly. I forgot how lovely that sensation was.

So ups and downs right now.

Onwards and upwards though!