Holy fuck, help me!

[HarshingMyMellow]

I split up with my partner a few months ago, he walked out and I haven't heard from him since.

Before we split up I had a miscarriage.

I've been feeling rough lately (fatigue) so did a few pregnancy tests which all came back negative, I am still having periods.

I went to the GP this morning after having some blood tests done a week ago and he's informed me that I am in fact pregnant.
I haven't slept with anyone since splitting up with my partner, and going by the last time we slept together (calculations on period tracker app) I could be as much as 20 weeks!
I can't understand it. The negative pregnancy tests, still having regular periods, no morning sickness. Nothing!

I am in a state of shock. I don't know what to do.
I already have toddler DD (ex hasn't seen her since he left either) and now I have to make all these decisions I don't want to make.
I was taking the pill too.

I've got to visit the clinic next week for a dating scan, if I am as far along as I have worked out I'll have a week to decide what to do.
I can't have another baby on my own with no support, I doubt ex will do much. I have no family to talk to.

What do I do? What would you do?
I feel physically sick with worry.

[Ratarse]

Just wishing you luck, hope everything works out for you.

[peekyboo]

Can you leave a message for the midwife to contact you, even if they won't make an appt for you? I think they'd know more than the Dr and be a lot more concerned about your odd symptoms too.

[Ariclock]

Thinking of you op, hope that all goes well at the scan

[HarshingMyMellow]

@Ratarse & @Ariclock - Thank you both.

@peekyboo The only way for me to contact the midwife is through the GPs receptionist. She wouldn't put me through, nor give me an appointment or contact number. She was spectacularly unhelpful, but that's not unusual.

I'm hoping once I've been seen by the EPU, they'll be able to arrange for me to talk to a midwife if need be.

[Flamingo86]

Do u know anyone pregnant in your area that might be able to give u a contact number ? ;) can’t believe your reception was such a knob about it. Here we have to call midwives direct, their number is on my surgery’s website page

[HarshingMyMellow]

@Flamingo86 I didn't think of that, good idea! I've searched online for my GPs website but the only number they have is the main switchboard.
It's so frustrating, I'm going round in circles and the dragon gatekeeper of a receptionist is just being an arse.

[Flamingo86]

I’d be happy to help find it :) also maybe post on the local boards

[Strawberrybelly]

This would drive me mad waiting until Friday. Your Dr's surgery sound useless.

[HarshingMyMellow]

@Flamingo86 thank you. I'll give you a private message later.
It's only another day now anyway.
If I am pregnant, I will keep it.
So I'm a bit calmer now.

@Strawberrybelly I know. I've tried to speak to the midwife - no avail. GP sorted a scan for next week. Managed to get seen at EPU.
Not sure what else I can do.
The surgery has massively gone down hill but I can't blame them for the services being cut to the bone:

[Tunnock44]

We're you scanned/checked after your miscarriage? Just wondering if you could have been pregnant with twins and miscarried one twin?

[Lisaloolops]

That's what I was thinking Tunnock. Maybe you needed this time to process and make your decision OP. I hope that at least is a weight off your shoulders x and you are now more prepared for whatever the outcome x thinking of you 💐

[mindutopia]

You should be able to get through to the midwives at the maternity ward. Here we just ring up and ask for the community midwife on duty. Even if you can’t find a direct number for the ward, you can call the main hospital switchboard and ask them to connect you. GPs are pretty clueless when it comes to pregnancy.

And do you think as a pp suggested that this is possibly a continuation of your previous pregnancy, either a twin or perhaps it wasn’t a true mc? Were you scanned then? When I had my mc, I had to have a d&c because it wasn’t happening on its own (so I know there was no chance of that), but certainly with a natural mc, it would be possible (if unlikely).

[AgathaF]

You could try googling 'midwife service your region' and see what that throws up in the way of numbers, or alternatively phone your local maternity unit and ask for the community midwives contact number. Best to do this earlier in the day as there will more likely be midwives in their offices around 9 - 10am ish and less likely later in the day, although you should still be able to get hold or someone or leave a voicemail that will be picked up fairly quickly. You need to be seen though, you'll need blood tests, dating/anomaly scan booking etc, plus your booking in appointment.

Just as an aside, I'm glad you've thrown your doppler away. They cause so much heartache and sometimes worse. Women often pick up the sound of the placenta and think it is the baby's heartbeat, or get themselves (understandably) into a panic if they can't hear anything, and there can be lots of reasons for that, not necessarily sinister.

[TheGoldenWolfFleece]

Good luck for your scan op.

[MrsBertBibby]

Is your ex paying maintenance for your daughter?

If not you need to start a claim

www.cmoptions.org (I would avoid the family based arrangement nonsense and go straight to proper assessment by the CMS)

[Homebird8]

The twin thing can happen. I lost a twin at 7 weeks and found out there was still a baby with a heart beat when they scanned. They could see the patch on my womb wall that was bleeding apparently when the first twin had come away. Unfortunately I lost the second twin at 16 weeks due to unknown reasons but that was a good two months after the first loss.

I hope you get that scan really soon and the care you need from the midwives. I second finding the number via the hospital.

[violeticecream]

Good luck for your scan tomorrow

[CocoaGin70]

If you are 20 weeks, your uterus would be around your navel area. Can you feel anything?

[LeroyJenkins]

good luck OP xx

[BrutusMcDogface]

Oh my goodness, what a whirlwind!! Hope all is well tomorrow af the scan. Sending strength

[springydaff]

I realise you've enough on your plate but at some point do make an appointment with the practise manager to 'discuss' the receptionist's attitude and approach.

So glad you're feeling calmer now

[IVEgotthePOWER]

Good luck op

[MadisonAvenue]

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow OP

[WitchDancer]

I'll be thinking of you today

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Hope all goes well today