I find a woman attractive .....do I tell her?

[pippyo33]

I'm 33.
I've always had relationships with men.
About a year and a half ago I started liking a woman (she's my friends friend).
We've had a few weekends away (the 3 of us) she is great.
I've found myself thinking of her non stop.
I thought maybe it was a crush but I still feel the same 1 1/2 years later.
She invited me to her sisters birthday party (we didn't know each well then )
She has asked me what type of person I like and what personality I go for.
I think we have flirted.
But as far as she's concerned I'm straight.
Would you even say anything?

Sod subtle. You need to let her know. She thinks you’re straight, so much as she might want to, she’s not going to make the first move.

Subtle won’t work in this situation: you can either reveal your feelings in person or text. Many people would find text easier, and it gives the other person time to reflect before responding.

Eg you could follow up your text with something like “actually, I’d love to have dinner just the two of us, on [original date] or another time you’re free”.

You may get knocked back, but at least then you’ll know. If she’s single the longer you leave it the higher the risk of her no longer being single!

If she’s not single, advice would be different!

Telling mutual gobby friend still seems a good plan to me!

Let her know X cant make it. You hadnt actually asked them yet ad you were so keen for her to come. Itll just be the two of you now, youre still keen if she is. Then suggest changing the plans to something more obviously date-y?

Oh I love this, it sounds like she really likes you!

Def. text "I chose this place as I know you love it :)"

Total placemark 😁

Come on OP! Tell her in a text so if she responds positively you've got a date and if not then no one will see your red cheeks

It definitely sounds like she likes you!

Text her back in a bit saying "Friend can't come now, are you OK with just the 2 of us?"! Who knows, mutual friend may not be able to come anyway!

Just go for it! She’s not going to be offended that you find her attractive even if she doesn’t reciprocate.

I consider myself bisexual despite my relationships almost all being with the opposite sex. I’ve just the one relationship with a woman and have since found maybe two or three sexuallly attractive (in real life, not random celebrities, lots of those).

Good luck x

Eeekkk... placemarking!

My now oh hadn't clocked that I liked her at all because "I was straight". It meant I got right past her defences without being caught but she also needed it pointing out very clearly!!!

TALK TO HER!!

Aww exciting! Good luck op

Thanks everyone
Without sounding like a teenager ...I really hope she likes me

Has she replied to your first text yet?

I think you should just tell her you like her otherwise it's hard to tell the difference in friendly and flirty.

Just be honest and take it from there. All clues suggest she likes you too!!

Definitely tell her!! Good luck xx

Good luck!

Has she replied to your first text yet?
yes I was wondering this too.

Has she replied? Stop messing about?

She replied yeah saying yeah I'm up for it then my friend text saying
"I hear we are going out for tea"
So I was like ....oh yeah did you not get my text
I'm hoping to flirt my way into her heart regardless
Totally ballsed that up didn't I.

Can you ask your friend to come down with a massive headache on the day so it's just you and lovely woman going for dinner?

I'm going to tell my friend that I like her and can she not come but say one of her kids is ill right before we meet.
What do u wear ? Just jeans and a nice top?
Or a skirt?

Eek exciting!

Sounds like date girl already knows if she’s checked with mutual friend, got a blank response and said yes to you then you’re good to go!