I find a woman attractive .....do I tell her?

[pippyo33]

I'm 33.
I've always had relationships with men.
About a year and a half ago I started liking a woman (she's my friends friend).
We've had a few weekends away (the 3 of us) she is great.
I've found myself thinking of her non stop.
I thought maybe it was a crush but I still feel the same 1 1/2 years later.
She invited me to her sisters birthday party (we didn't know each well then )
She has asked me what type of person I like and what personality I go for.
I think we have flirted.
But as far as she's concerned I'm straight.
Would you even say anything?

Soon as I knew she was back with her ex I had already made my mind up I wouldn't say anything.
They were deffo in love back then so no doubt will be again.

Delete Snapchat. X

Aww, never mind, op.

Next time jump in with both feet .

Ohhh, OP I think a possible hint to ask onemorecup out?!

Well apart from the fact I’m more that 20 yrs older than pippyo33 and a femme (from what pippy has said the woman she’s attracted to is more of a tomboy/ butch) I’m v happily married to a woman I’ve been with for many years - no offence taken though 😂 I genuinely meant that maybe pippy might want to revisit her view that she is ostensibly ‘straight’ and experiment a little - there are plenty of single gay women out there, definitely won’t be me though!

The strange thing for me is she's the only woman I've ever liked.
If I was to walk down the street today it would be a hot guy that turned my head.
Maybe I fell for her personality.
It's very confusing

Been exactly through more or less the same thing as you. Attracted to only one woman I met a year ago. We got really close at some point and the flirting was there, texted me all the time, with pics of herself, what she was eating and doing. She texted me once to say that she was so happy she met me and told her days later the feeling was mutual but it did not feel right. Unlike you I am in a relationship and as much as I tried to stay away it was really hard. I did get some signs at some point that she could see someone else but even when I said sorry, did not know you were seeing someone when she updated her story feeling heartbroken she brushed it away. It was only in a last painful conversation we had 6 months ago that she said there was something else going on with me and that she thought I would never tell her, that she actually admited she was seeing someone who she could not even call girlfriend but “this girl I talk to”. We stopped talking as I wanted to stop the whole thing. Could not stop thinking about her though. We saw each other a couple of days ago through work, and it was quite awkward at first, but as we were heading out of the building and making casual conversation she offered to give me a lift in her car. I did go as it was a short one, to the nearest station, I guess she thought I would go back to my work place which was much farther.
All in all, I sensed that there was still something there, after all why would she offer a lift and just say nice to see you, good bye?
I felt she was a player at times, she too said in the past she felt she would never find someone again and only mentioned her ex but never a new interest in someone else.
I do understand how devastating this is for you, so if you need someone to talk to I am here!

Do you think there's a chance I was right with my signs that she did like me?
But as I was straight she didn't try anything?
I honestly thought she was attracted to me

(One1) sorry to hear about your situation too.
It's horrible isn't it,when our hearts get broken.
If only things were plane sailing

Yes she was attracted. But to be honest probably couldnt be arsed with all the issues as you clearly arent 'out' which means no proper socialising in case you see someone you know, telling family etc. With the ex thats not an issue

The way I see things, as I am always trying to look from the other person’s perspective as well, her ex was the easier option: she was clearly gay, there were some feeling left probably as well. You are straight, she was not 100%sure either maybe if you were into her, she did not know if would go to all lengths to be with her(take into consideration all pressure from family, society involved). And it was probably taking way too long. Me for one I was losing patience, i could not wait for her to get it out there and have THE CONVERSATION. But she may have just as well have been waiting for me. As my psychologist friend put it, we were in a mental relationship as she was using me as a safety blanket.

I think there’s a good chance she was interested but didn’t want to ruin your friendship as she would have seen a risk that you would have been uncomfortable if she had made a pass.
Usually when people get back together with their exes it doesn’t work out, so you might want to work through things for yourself in the meantime (and if she is never single again, knowing yourself better is never a waste of time).
I would suggest reading autostraddle.com and watching non-crap Lesbian films to see if you can see yourself anywhere.

Would you look for another woman OP? Maybe this crush,even though it hasn't turned out how you wanted, might lead you to what you really want.

See Kelly McGillis' story. Go for what makes you happy - hetero, gay or bi who the fuck cares. Just don't be passive about what you want. Best of luck OP!

Any update?! I really hope that you messaged her!

Sounds like you are confused op. You have said it would be hot guy who still turned your head. Perhaps your crush could detect you were attracted to her but didnt want to go there with someone who identifies as straight. I couldn’t personally, I’d be afraid of the issues it would bring, getting hurt etc.
I think you should take this time to work through what you’re feeling, if you’re bi or gay there will be another woman who will turn your head eventually and you will be prepared.

I didn't say anything no.
It's pointless now she's with her ex.
Maybe she never liked me to begin with.
If she's ever single who knows