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Original poster

Anonymous letter

275 replies

Summertime54 · 21/07/2018 22:22

I have received an anonymous letter through the post. It was addressed incorrectly but the letter stated that my partner is having an affair and that they didn't want me to be the last to find out about it. Where do I start with this? Believe it and investigate further? Ignore it? Confront him? Any advice would be appreciated Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Summertime54 · 22/07/2018 10:13

So sorry to read that so many of you have been through similar experiences.

I am slightly confused with the whole address thing as it was signed from 'your friends' but if I knew them why would they get my address wrong, if I wouldn't know who the letter was from anyway. The way it was worded was also quite strange. I guess I'll never know who it was from.

OP posts:
Queenofthedrivensnow · 22/07/2018 10:21

Is it from your neighbours? Is it hard to identify the number/name of your house?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 22/07/2018 10:38

If he lives with you, was it deliberately delivered to a neighbour to pass on to you so that he didn't intercept it?

DrFoxtrot · 22/07/2018 10:40

Possibly from the neighbour who has noticed comings and goings at your house? I’d definitely keep quiet and do more investigating now.

Monkeypuzzle32 · 22/07/2018 11:12

‘From your friends’ doesn’t mean you necessarily know them, just that they are ‘on your side’ not his

jalady385 · 22/07/2018 12:09

So sorry your going though this OP. I always say what is your gut feeling. From what you have said you do think something isn't quite right. I definitely would not say anything yet. Agree with others I would have to do some investigating. Also some thought on what you would do if it is true. Thanks

custardcream1000 · 22/07/2018 12:56

That must have been quite a shock.

As others have said, I wouldn't say anything to your partner for now. Cheaters are good at hiding things, but a lot of them forget about Google maps daily calender and also Google's 'my activity' - both can give you quite a bit of information.

I really hope it's just someone being malicious.

Original poster
Summertime54 · 22/07/2018 13:55

I wouldn't say it's hard to identify the number of my house. I guess that it could have been delivered to my neighbour on purpose, but if anyone knows us he's quite good friends with our neighbour. I haven't said anything but asked in conversation if his friend had come round while I'd been away and he said 'no I was working' (he has an odd shift pattern). I do wonder how he has time to have an affair because he is working most of the time....but then he has been 'different' since last year and he's started to accuse me of cheating recently and then theres the fact that he won't let me drop him off right outside work anymore, he always says drop him off round the corner. How have I not picked up on this? Im going to start investigating properly, is it wrong to check all his devices or does this letter give me a reason to? Thanks all x

OP posts:
FuckItPassMeTheWine · 22/07/2018 14:28

Check all his devices , if someone is being dishonest with you then I think you deserve to know the truth and not waste years on someone who potentially could be risking your sexual health. X

LaMainDeFatima · 22/07/2018 14:58

Check everything. Sounds like it’s at work
Does he go anywhere else ?

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 22/07/2018 15:06

Can you track his whereabouts on “find my iPhone” to maybe do some checking yourself ?

Or you could maybe get a PI if you can afford it, maybe a bit expensive (maybe £500 upwards) but the removal of a cheat from your life is priceless, ( slightly bastardising mastacard’s advert) . Stay strong op Flowers x

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 22/07/2018 15:26

Just found a site where they do surveillance for £45 an hour (4 hours minimum) they seem to cover most areas . Not sure if your allowed to make reference to other websites or not on this forum , but im sure this post will be deleted if so .
Anyways it’s called honey trap agency uk . I’m making the general
assumption here that you are U.K. based.

Monkeypuzzle32 · 22/07/2018 15:46

getting the address slightly may be a result of the writer seeing him get out a car outside, or similar and assuming it was next door for example. Sadly sounds like it may have some truth in it, I would investigate before saying anything .

user1497991628 · 22/07/2018 16:46

I got an anonymous Facebook message.

It was true.

Original poster
Summertime54 · 22/07/2018 16:52

Thanks for all your help, I will start off by checking his devices and having a route around but it would definitely be worth using that site if I can't find anything. The only place I could think of it being is at work, if it is happening. He hardly ever goes out and is always doing overtime which he is actually working so if it's not at work then I just find it hard to believe that he could fit it in as the days he's off and I'm in work he has the DC. He is however constantly on his phone and is funny about me using it. I feel really awkward trying to act normal when I'm going to be snooping, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt until I find some conclusive evidence (jeez I sound like I'm some sort of expert investigator). X

OP posts:
FuckItPassMeTheWine · 22/07/2018 17:30

Hope you find conclusive evidence either way OP. Again really sorry that you’re having to go through this BrewCake xx

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 22/07/2018 17:34

Also if he uses WhatsApp (he may delete messages) but there’s also a call function where you can see the call log so if he is calling an OW on WhatsApp he may have overlooked deleted the call history on the app. Just something that I thought I would mention x

user1497991628 · 22/07/2018 18:17

Also archived chats on WhatsApp if you swipe to see them.

And location services on iPhone can reveal frequent locations and time spent there.

SandyY2K · 22/07/2018 18:45

His recent behaviour is suspicious.

It would be helpful if anonymous letters gave more info...like who the OW is.

Original poster
Summertime54 · 22/07/2018 20:12

Thanks for the tips on whatsapp, he only really uses his phone so I'm going to have to wait until he's asleep and be really sneaky 😏! Ok, so should I now be concerned that it's only taken me the couple of hours that he's been out to find another letter in his work bag, I don't actually know what it says because it's not written in English but it's his writing so he can make the effort to translate a letter to someone but he can't even be bothered to help me out with the DC. I think this is not going to end the way I hoped! Infact it's all a bit strange.

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 22/07/2018 20:20

I knew someone whose partner seemed to have every minute of their time accounted for but was meeting women in their lunch hour from work. There's always time if people want to make it.

Him accusing you of cheating I find suspicious. Projection going on?

Sally2791 · 22/07/2018 20:24

Definitely don't confront him until you've done a lot more digging -if you find what you don't want to then get legal advice before saying anything.

Gotthetshirt23 · 22/07/2018 20:24

Type it into google translate ?
Screen shot and put it back then do it when you have time ?

Sisterlove · 22/07/2018 20:29

What's his basis for accusing you of cheating?

It could be away of deflecting from his own cheating.

janaus · 22/07/2018 20:44

Google can translate, Type in a few words then type translate into English.