He had me up by the wall and literally snapped his teeth by my face, so I said what the hell are you doing and he said he had to stop himself from biting me because I'd annoyed him so much but it was better than a punch so I should be greatful
Oh OP out of all of your posts this jumped off the screen at me. Please, please contact Women’s Aid, or someone in RL who can help you. This is abuse. It is not normal to be grateful that your partner didn’t bite/punch/hurt you. It’s never normal to even have to consider that your partner would behave this way, he is a very cruel man who is intimidating and abusing you.
You deserve better, and so do your children. He is gaslighting you at the moment, because he believes you’re still under his control. Please believe me (I’ve been there and escaped) that once they believe that there is no limit to how far they’ll go. He stopped himself from physically hurting you this time (that’s not to say his behaviour wasn’t abuse, it was) but what about next time? Or the time after that?
What about if your baby cries in the night and he’s in a mood? Or if the children don’t do as they’re told? Will he expect them to be grateful if he doesn’t hurt them?
He’s ground you down and messed with your head, I know that you’ll be having so many conflicting emotions and thoughts racing round your head at the moment and probably be so confused by his manipulations that it’s hard to trust your own instincts (I’m sorry if that’s patronising, it’s not supposed to be, it’s how I felt) but please believe me that in order for you to be safe you need to find a way to get rid of him. You deserve to be safe, not to be afraid in your own home.