Married man losing interest and I feel like shit

[touchoffree]

I know this is wrong but I've been seeing a married man for the last four months. Tbh I'm not capable finding my own relationship as men never want me.

This man pursued me for ages and eventually I gave in. Initially he couldn't get enough but just like all the other men he is now bored. His wife accused him of cheating and today he told me he can no longer text me at the weekends. So I got annoyed and told him I was fed up of all the rules, to which he has accused me of being too needy.

I feel horrible now and hate the fact he thinks I need attention. I've tried to be so laid back but it's hard when I have no commitment from him. He's stopped texting me back so that's it really.

Not sure how to make myself feel any better? I just feel really frustrated that he isn't replying to my messages and I want to scream. I'm so disgusted with myself for another failed attempt at making something work. Even someone that I don't really want doesn't want me.

Tell me it gets better please?

Yeah it will get better. This is a low so the only way is upwards surely.

Do you honestly think every single person posting who isn't cheerleading for the OP are insecure and spiteful?

How odd!

Anyway, shockingly enough, the OP has disappeared!

‘It’s clear what the post is about’

I’m so sorry: I hadn’t realized we’re only allowed to comment on those threads where the heading is in the form of a fucking riddle . . .

touchoffree, you've said yourself that you don't really want him so do follow the good advice to block and delete him. He will try to get in touch when he feels at a low ebb and needs an ego stroke and it will do him good to find that you're no longer on the end of the string.

... and ignore the spiteful posters who are just putting the boot in. It's not going to change anything that's happened, it just makes them feel better because you're a threat to them. Ignore them.

I like Gemini's advice too about reading. Do that, distract yourself from this man and also look to your friends for some support to get yourself out of the rut you're in.

It will get better for you but only when you are convinced that you're not a woman who deserves or will accept second best. This man cannot commit to you, he can't even commit to his marriage. Be glad that you can walk away - and do that.

OP, you need to regain some dignity so do yourself a favour and text him, 'this isn't working for me so let's call it quits ' then block him. Take some time to sort yourself out then maybe try OLD or joining a few clubs/the gym etc - meet new people then you may meet someone special that you don't have to share. Don't compromise yourself.

And to the pp who said that married men would shag someone else, given half the chance? What utter bollocks.

I haven't disappeared I'm reading the replies which are not all helpful. Yes I know it's wrong to get involved and I honestly didn't think it would go on so long. I don't want him but I was enjoying the attention which has now disappeared. I guess I thought I couldn't get hurt as he's so unavailable I haven't got attached but like I said, now that the attention is gone I feel terrible about myself.

WTF. She can do what she likes - she is single!

If your partner ever cheats will you feel so charitably about the other person? Or if a woman you love gets cheated on - your mother, your daughter?

Most of us have an understanding of what it is to live in society. We understand what a marriage ceremony means. We understand two people are pledging to be faithful to each other, and we understand we can help that along by not throwing ourselves at married people. It's only fine to do what we want whenever we want if we can truthfully say we're happy for everyone to act that way. And I bet you would not be happy if someone made a play for your spouse.

@OwlBeThere I have absolutely no sympathy for a woman who would knowingly attempt to ruin someone's marriage and then have the bare-faced cheek to come onto MN and complain that she's fed up of the 'rules' of being the OW.

If she has morals like that, how can she expect anyone to have any respect for her? Really?

Beat it round the bush all you want.

It's vile.

ilovemypantry, you need a dose of your own bitter medicine. Allow me.
You’d have to be someone really special for a married man to wreck his marriage and leave his wife. You are obviously not that special.

You'd think a wife would be really special for a married man not to wreck his marriage, not for anything or anybody... are you saying that they're not that special either?

ignore the spiteful posters who are just putting the boot in. It's not going to change anything that's happened, it just makes them feel better because you're a threat to them. Ignore them.

Is she a threat to me? How so?

You aren't going to get helpful replies. If helpful is people feeling sorry for you. Not a chance you'll get that on here.

@Whatstobedone. I can only speak from what I know and I've worked with hundreds of men over the years and been involved in loads of sports clubs etc as well where its been mainly men. I'm gay myself so men fucking about doesnt affect me.
I've had friends who didnt ever in a million years think their husband would shag another woman. They all have done and they are all divorced now.

Arum, that video is misogynistic nastiness through and through. You should feel ashamed to have posted that on OP's thread.

All the posters defending the op.

Would you honestly be feeling the same way if it was your husband playing away and his bit on the side was moaning that she couldn't talk to him much?

I highly doubt it.

There is absolutely no excusing what she has done. The lack of empathy towards his wife is vile. The 'pity me' attitude is vile.

Lying, why are you so determined to champion the OP and insult other posters who think that sleeping with a married man is probably best avoided?

Are you an OW perhaps?

Do you just enjoy feeling like your different to the masses?

Are you doing it for attention?

It's really quite bizarre. And you're taking it so personally

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe a threat lol? Oh yes all us spiteful yet honest and realistic posters are currently shifting ourselves that the op is going to come and steal our partners....

No MadMags, I'm nobody's 'champion' either and don't want to be. I just cannot stand the posters who jump onto these threads with so much relish and spite.

I could say that you're taking it personally, you're ALWAYS on any thread about cheating. I expect you have your reasons for that, none of my business and my reasons are none of yours.

Indeed sissy. If you're so secure then why the need?

I’m curious to know that, too, Crochet. I guess I’ll just have to keep my fingers crossed that my fella prefers ‘spiteful and insecure’ to ‘boring with low self-esteem’. Could go either way.

Why is the OP a threat to me?

Given that anyone who's been here five minutes knows what the response is to OWs, I kind of assumed that this was a deliberate, masochistic attempt by the OP to get a kicking.

Hmm. If I'm ALWAYS on these threads, then you know that because you are, too.

If that says something about me, it presumably says something about you, too?

This was in active threads by the way. And as I already stated; I have never, to my knowledge at least, been cheated on. So no axe to grind.

Why is the OP a threat to me?

Maybe she'll bore you to death.