New husband cheating and she's pregnant!

[Dtb27]

I am so happy I found this forum. I have never felt so low as my heart has been crushed just recently and still struggling to come to terms with the fact it’s actually done. I am letting you know my story so that you all know your not alone and hope some of you girls / guys can reassure me that it does get better
Here goes.......

I am 27 and was with my now husband for 9 years, married actually only 39 days!. At the beginning of our relationship he wasn’t perfect but forgave him and ended up having an amazing relationship. Travelled, had a big circle of friends, didn’t argue, no abuse just happy. Even moved away from our family area which I never thought he would do as was a right homebird but he did and was enjoying it. Neither of us had children (he is 30) and we lived life how we enjoyed.
In November 2016 he popped the question and I agreed to be his wife, amazing or so I thought. We started planning the wedding and discussed starting a family. I think the wedding took over and he couldn't stand being second best to that for a while....pathetic. I came off the pill in January in hopes that after we were married we could set off married life and become a family which we had always discussed and dreamed about.
In March he left for his stag doo where he met someone and started an affair with this girl (she is 34 and knew he was the stag getting married) after the stag I saw a change in his behaviour and started to question things I asked him if there was someone else and he said no he just had cold feet and was scared as everything was starting to happen, getting married, trying for a baby and buying a home together. All reasonable excuses I thought. Well we ended up getting married on 20th April 2018 and had the most amazing day, everything went back to normal and enjoyed a couple of weeks together before going on our incredible honeymoon. A week and a half after the honeymoon he told he had been sleeping with someone and she is pregnant! I chucked him out and can honestly say it’s been the worst and most heartbreaking thing I have ever felt. He moved in to a house we had been renting out and was saying all the right things. Then all of a sudden he changed his mind and said he wanted to be apart of the babies life. I said I didn’t think I could handle it but said I would maybe try. This girl hid behind friends and got them to send me messages with all there dirty secrets saying he had even called her on our wedding night and knew about the baby before the wedding which he denies of course. She said such hurtful things and I just deleted them and never replied. He said that the only reason he promised her these things like he would be with her was to keep her quiet and so she wouldn't tell me. He went to the scan with her and he then decided he wanted to be with her and raise this baby. 2 days after the scan he messaged saying how much he loves me and now his dreams have been shattered from his own stupidity. Kept saying he loves me but things wouldn't be the same and he is dead right. Then said he was going to be with her! When he told me that I think that was like a dagger to my heart actually said if he wasn’t going to be there then he would miss the baby’s first steps. I screamed it should have been us! Never had so much emotion at once and he burst out crying and sobbing (which he never does not even when his dad passed away and they were close) he then text the next day saying he knows it should have been us he can't get my words out of his head but knows we couldn't be repaired. Just can't believe my husband is with someone he has known 3 months! Bearing in mind a month of that he hadn’t seen her. He agrees and said I know it was never meant to be like this I wanted a family with you but to much damage has been done your family will hate me blah blah all me me me basically. I have put a post on Facebook that just said when you find out your husband is a lying cheating scumbag apparently I was publicly humiliated him and now it wouldnt be the same. He is right cause now all my family know and he knows he would never be accepted. between us maybe we couldn't work. I have advised him that he was a compulsive liar as she uploaded a pic of them walking her dog together when apparently he was down town sorting thus
We have now cut contact and he is going full steam ahead with this girl. Everyday is a struggle for me and I literally can’t stop crying I feel my hands are tied and there’s nothing I can do. All I want is for him to say it will all be okay but I know that won’t happen and can’t. He has said he loved me and made a mistake that back fired on him greatly and he has to step up. I feel like I have failed as I didn’t have a baby with him, I feel so unattractive, I feel mugged off. All the while there getting on with it. Just struggling how to move forward? I know that the baby is due in Jan and I don’t want to put life my on hold being heartbroken and miserable. How do I move forward?
Thanks for reading my long ass story but just needed to get it off my chest. Stay strong and positive ladies xx

Or you could do what a mate of mine did. Sleep with him and write the time date and place and marks out of ten on his back with a Sharpie when he was asleep. Karma baby!

@Dtb27 I hope things are getting better for you.

Remember, revenge is a life lived well, as the saying goes. All you need to do is go on forward n your life, have an amazing time, while this loser has short sleep due to the baby, and the OW lives with constant internal panic that he'll cheat, as he has form.

Don't believe for a second that this is the only women he has cheated with. It doesn't make sense -he cheats for the first time on his stag do-really .Get an annulment and move on .
You seem to be clinging to that this is somehow a tragic love story (he makes one stupid mistake and your beautiful love is destroyed)but if he really wanted you he wouldn't have even looked at her.He obviously would have cheated at some point in your marriage -your just lucky he hasn't left you with debts and three children to bring up on your own..

Morning All, I have since changed my name since my original post.
Thank you for your new comments as more things came to light yesterday!
Since my original thread I have found out that my disgusting husband was sleeping with other woman the one that got pregnant was in fact number 5 ( that I know of ) so do realise now I have had a lucky escape.
I have spoke to the OW and she claims she knows everything which of course was a lie.

Weird thing is I went out in my local area this weekend and ran in to his brother. He even said they won't last and that they are 2 different people ( which we all know )

The other woman has been in contact with one of my friends and the lies he is telling her is actually quite funny. I actually pity her now as she is falling for his lies hook line and sinker!
However this woman told my friend that when he said he wanted to be with me she threatened to take her and the unborn babies life. So she is clearly not mentally stable! Also said they were actually trying for the baby?! What after knowing eachother 3 weeks. I am starting to think she may have mental health issues as that just isn't normal.
I have also found out that she doesn't trust him one bit and isn't allowed to go out with his friends unless she is present and has also stated that she will put a tracker on his phone and fly out to where his friends stag doo is being held. Funny that her Facebook posts portray a very different side of this.

I don't look on her Facebook but I do get told things even if I have said I don't want to know. I have blocked her but she still manages to go on mine somehow so she obviously finds me a threat which is quite amusing in its self. She obviously has nothing better to do with her time.

In terms of me I am a lot better I was offered a new exciting career opportunity which I have accepted and am going to Budapest with one of my friends for a few days at the end of November. Things are finally starting to go in the right direction.
It isn't easy and still have my bad days but when I hear his lies to her I know he will never change and that makes me feel good. I have finally realised its not me it's HIM.

Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Wow. I am floored by this thread...it’s lured me out of my lurking status! What a horrible man.

This other woman op chose to sleep with a man who was approaching his wedding. When she fell pregnant, she used this to ‘steal’ him from you.
Well, what a life she has ahead of her, with a man she will never trust. A man who she knows has the capacity to drop her as he did his new wife. She may feel victorious for now op, but that won’t last much longer.

And him! What a lowlife. Sleeping about and finally getting another woman pregnant mere weeks before your wedding. He will no doubt continue such behaviour until he ends up old and alone, with children scattered about who have no respect for their father.

I know a man just like this...not my ex but the ex of a friend and 15 years on I can tell you that his life sucks.

But vengeful thinking, whilst therapeutic early on, is not that great a healer. Particularly as you are never really likely to know how bad it gets for them.

Moving on with your exciting new life, job opportunities and holidays with friends will bring you the peace you deserve. A time will come when you really couldn’t care less whether he is happy or not.

Good luck xx

Hi Lightening

So glad you are coming out the other side now, oh what a confusing web he has woven for himself. Don't be surprised if he try's to contact you again in the future
Seems he thinks a lot of himself.

Keep walking forward lovely, and have a good chuckle quietly at his expense 💐

lightninggirl27 It's great to see you're moving on. Have a fab life, and I'm sure you'll find someone better than this lowlife.

Just would like to say to each and everyone of you this is my daughter and you have all helped so much with your lovely words of wisdom you all helped her in her darkest days and for that I thank you xx

Good to see you're in a better place op, onwards and upwards x

You are so much better off without him, he sounds vile

lightninggirl27 onwards and upwards! Have a great time in budapest and enjoy your new future

Hi Lightning

I didn't see your thread until today.

You are a remarkably strong person, although some days it probably doesn't feel like it.

You will go through phases (angry, sad, emotional, emotionless), it is part of the healing process. So happy to hear about Budapest and that your new life has now begun.

Hi Becca, it's tough being a mum, but you can see what a strong young lady you have raised.

This post will stick with me for a very long time. As i was pretty floored reading it. I am not sure how someone can treat someone they claim to love so despicably and sleep at night. But also, just how important support is. Whether its from strangers from around the world, your closest friend, your mum and stepdad. You have this. And look how far forward you have already come.

I wont say that my story is anything like the betrayal that you have experienced, but i have had a journey too. And i know it wont seem like it now, and I am sure that so many people have said it, but you DO have so many good things to look forward to.

Take it from someone who's partner of 5 years left at 4 weeks pregnant to fuck a 22 year old french student. I've had the baby and he's still with her .

You are very very very lucky you didn't have kids with him.

You did nothing to deserve this. You've been deceived and humiliated. And it's not fair. It's just not fucking fair. I wouldn't wish a broken heart on my worst enemy.

I will tell you one thing, it gets easier and it gets better. It might not feel like it for a few weeks, months or ever a year or two. But it does get better. You will find joy again. And you will find love again.

You are so young. The right one is waiting for you somewhere out there for you, just waiting patiently for you to glue all the pieces of your broken heart back together.

how are u getting on OP, what he has done is no reflection on you, these are his issues and his fucks ups, you shouldnt take it personally

Bless you OP, you still have your youth and a chance for a better life for yourself.

I know I am better off without someone like him and the fact he continues to lie through his teeth shows me that her or this baby won't change that. I thought a baby might but someone as selfish as him will never change.
I think her attitude is what grinds me the most. Acting as if she has won some sort of prize and he only cheated on me as I wasn't right for him. She honestly believes she has done nothing wrong and that this is all fate 😂
When I told her we were trying for a baby at the time she said what you were trying for 3 months and didn't get pregnant? As if there was something wrong with me! Who the fuck does she think she is?! Actually said to my friend that she fell pregnant on the first try 😮 saying they were trying. I suppose that makes her feel better that she can try and convince herself that there baby isn't a mistake which of course we all know it is. Someone who is a month away from getting married would not be trying for a baby with someone they have known 2 weeks.
My anger is with him obviously but since this she has tried everything in her power to rub it in my face. After what they have done I would be ashamed! I hate her and feel she is evil and nasty.

Sorry for the rant but she pisses me off something chronic lol

Thanks for your constant support and letting me get this off my chest lol x

She's clearly a nut job, OP. And now he's tied to her for life. Shame 

Just read this whole thread. Men like your ex turn my stomach. As night follows day he will be cheating on her soon and deep down she knows it. That is the reason she is spouting off to your friend. It must be killing her.

What you went through was awful, like a death but make no mistake that it was a good thing that happened. If he was having unprotected sex it was only a matter of time before he got some woman pregnant.

Thank your lucky stars you have no children with this man. You are young and appear to have good family and friends. You will marry again and your next husband will be 100 times better than your first. They always are.

The girl obviously knows she's got sloppy seconds, she's panicking he's going to walk, the "relationship" is built on quick sand, they both know it

I actually feel some pity for her, her stress levels trying to keep track of his every thought and movement must be off the scale.

@lightninggirl27 she sounds like an absolute nut job. If she's this bad now imagine how bad she will be after the baby is born? Honestly I can bet you anything the grass isn't greener on the other side and he will regret this big time.

When is the due date? Have you thought about going away on a holiday around that time?

@ghostlygal thank you for your comment ❤️ the baby is due very early Jan so not long now really. However, my mum has said about us getting away so we are thinking about it. I think that would be a great idea though.

I am actually flattered she finds me such a threat. I would hate to be constantly worrying where my partner was and if he was only with me because of the baby. What a dream pregnancy. No one dreams of having there first child in such a way.

It's his Karma and Hers, there welcome to each other. I actually feel sorry for them and am starting to finally enjoy freedom and learning about who I actually am as a person. Let the fun begin 😊 x

@lightninggirl27 well a lovely winter sun holiday might be just what the doctor ordered!

Babies are incredibly hard work. I don't see it lasting once the baby is here. Babies can test even the most solid of relationships it won't last long term. Which is really of no compensation to you as your marriage is ruined.

By having had my own heart broken, the best thing I have found is to focus on your own life and things that will make you happy. Book a concert gig to go to, go for a city break near by, book a west end show, book a spa day with friends, book that holiday in January, book a hairdresser and change up your hair etc fill up your life with things that will make you happy.