Starting over after 25 years - Part deux

[Lily007]

Wow need to start a new thread.

The support I’ve had from all the posters has been amazing and very much appreciated and I hope will continue.

I’m just sorry I spent time reading through it as I think I have had a lightbulb moment about why he left

Ouch! Totally unnecessary

I think summery is fighting her own demons, in her own words she feels she is larger, less glamourous and older than the ex wife, who she feels will think she is common, so clearly fighting some self esteem and worthiness issues, which has resulted in some attacks on here. 😔

@Bluntness100 I am hoping this I'm not sure what's happening now, I was trying to play go between, but I think you've moved into abusive summer isn't aimed at me.

I am not the same person as Summerynights

No it wasn't,,I got and am still slightly confused if I'm honest,,such a weird turn of events 😳

Summerlife I think Bluntness was aiming that at Summerynights, however, your post wasn’t helpful so since you’ve had your lightbulb moment about why my marriage disintegrated, I assume you’ll bow out too.

@Bluntness100 not sure why you're still confused, it's quite clear if you read back whose posts are whose.

Anyway, I'm off as there's definitely one thing weird around here and that's the dynamic on this thread.

@Lily007 Summerynights had the lightbulb moment not me.

And with that I am absolutely, definitely out!

It’s deja vu - or as you referred to last weekend’s fiasco Bluntness the bun fight part 2!!!

back to normal now hopefully Lily

Oh apologies Summerlife for the mix up.

You were the one who said OP - you can discuss what you like.....etc

That’s a phrase used on the previous thread which is why I asked “sound familiar?”

Hopefully Toots lol.

Phew......I’m proper confuzzed! 😂

Me too! Hope you're doing better after a bit of a shitty day

Been watching Corrie for 2 hours and still not finished 🙈

Yes Toots I’m feeling loads better thanks 😘

Have you not read Lilys comment, she does not want to discuss DDs. Read the thread! She has already said on several occasions it is not relevant. XH was a good father.

I think you and several others on this post are enjoying Lilys heartache. If you cannot be helpful, don't bother posting.

OK. I didn't ask her to discuss them.
I am sorry to say though that a truly good father, it's usually healed, and as I said, the end of a relationship is very rarely 100% down to one party.
And TBH he did appear to be a good husband until he got caught.

I am not enjoying any heartache at all, and if you read my posts I was making suggestions that I believe are helpful, like not getting so many constant updates, or looking at the OW's facebook. I don't think it's helpful to see so very many photos of them.

That's good to hear Lily (the feeling better, not the Corrie )

bethy15. We’re way past that now.

DD’s - off limits
SM - don’t look at most of it so, not constant.
XH 100% responsible for break up - shagging another woman tends to do that.

Case closed!

Toots Still got 10 minutes left - was only on for an hour 😂

An ex of mine used to love the soaps, so I went cold turkey when we split up (13 years Corrie free)

I am on the fence about the social media stuff. I split from my husband and five years later I get breathless messages telling me he is with someone else that I vaguely know. So bloody what. The teller seemed disappointed by my response along the lines of 'good luck to her'.I really wonder at the motivation of some people. Only you know your own mind and how seeing what your ex does makes you feel. I blocked my ex as i didnt need to see his life and he didnt need to see mine. I am a believer in what the eye dont see the heart dont grieve over, but each to his own, its early days and whatever gets you through you hang on to.

Agree with @bluntness100 - I can also block people out, and I'm sure that's because I was bullied a lot as a child and grew up in a rather dyfunctional home. If someone pisses me off enough, I will just forget that they exist, then they're not renting a room in my head any more.

However, there are also people out there who do it when they become "tired" of someone and want to move on. I think that's something rather different, as they choose to behave like this rather than be put in a position where they feel they have no alternative.

Tatianna. I don’t have all and sundry detailing his SM posts, just a couple of very close friends who only have my best interests at heart.

Sorry if I offended you Lily. Of course there are topics that are private for you, it's just your struggle for answers and the turmoil it is causing you is palpable. You won't find those answers in a vacuum, there will be pieces of the jigsaw all over the place. But as you say maybe it's just too soon for all that and something to be done in private.

DD’s - off limits
SM - don’t look at most of it so, not constant.
XH 100% responsible for break up - shagging another woman tends to do that.

That's fine, but it doesn't mean there is zero issues there.

You do speak about updates/posts/photos multiple times a day,so it's an every day occurrence that you see/hear about what he's doing/look at OW's page.

I didn't say he wasn't 100% responsible for your break up, I was saying when a parent/child relationship goes NC it's very rarely 100% one way, especially in the case of the children.

I agree that less updates from friends about the going ons in their lives would be kinder to the OP. What the OP doesn't know won't hurt her. Plus, it's a slippery slope - it gets addictive.

But I think some posts here are also unnecessary. The OP is still hurting, don't rub salt in her wound people. If she wants to be angry, let her. She deserves to be angry. Don't come in posting about situations that are different from the OP, stealthily defending the XH or the OW. There's no need.

Start your own thread if you must, but not here.