DH has not come home yet...

[HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall]

He went to work at 6:30am yesterday, said he was going to have a drink after work and I've not heard from him or seen him since then, he finished work at 12:30.

He's not done this before, but he has recently been lying to me about who he has been out drinking with.

Why be cruel about your ds, he's done nothing wrong.

Presumably because she knows that stbxh will have to continue to financially support us all the time that DS is in full-time education which could be as long as 7 years.
Stbxh has stated that he has no intention of the 2 of them living together for the foreseeable future. This will limit the amount of disposable income that stbxh has, that will have a knock on effect on their relationship. Stbxh is spending way too much of our marital assets on evenings out, gifts etc.

That will all have to stop.

SchnitzelVonKrumm
Again I am presuming that it is because these people have been friends with her for a lot longer than they have been friends with stbxh and therefore their loyalty lies with her, it's either that or they also have little regard for people with disabilities.

Maelwaedd

Yes DS does have a phone, unfortunately the battery no longer holds much charge so it rapidly uses what little there is in it. He doesn't use it often because he doesn't really go anywhere on his own and only uses it to contact me. I will look into ordering a new battery, it's a great idea and in the meantime I will let DS take my DVR with him and hope that will work just as well.

First off I want to extend my deepest sympathies what you and your sons have endured. I have an 18-year Old with cerebral palsy and autistic like issues and a mood disorder. He has physical disabilities as well so I understand the stresses of parenting a special needs child.
I admire your strength and courage and protection of your sons. Personally I don’t know if I could control my behavior like you with that bitch slandering a special child and I know damn straight a few family members I have would probably take care of her by the next day’s tea time if I were to ask a favor. I hope your husband realizes someday what a cluster fuck he has made of his own doing.

Just another small update, divorce petition has been sent to the local divorce unit and stbxh should get a copy of it within the next week, OW continues to be nasty towards DS and I will be speaking to my solicitor about it. There has also been a few other people who have admitted knowing about the affair but "didn't want to get involved" or didn't know how to tell me.

You still sound like your holding everything together so well OP. Hats off to you

Does he not get she is a really nasty bitch to your ds, he should be speaking up for him at least

Have to say the way you have dealt with all of this is amazing your children have such a stong role model to look up too. Your stbxh should be totally ashamed of his actions and a husband and as a father. I would be asking my solicitor to write a letter to Her stating that if her harassment towards your son does not stop immediately there will be consequences and you Will take it further. This will also hopefully make his father sit up and take more notice of her behaviour towards your son. Disgusting woman. Good luck op I hope things improve for you very soon, don t forget to look after yourself too.

Maybe the few other people could make up for their moral cowardice by pointing out to exH that his OW is publicly abusing his child...

I've just caught up with this since stbxh had that first night out, you're amazing, ow is scum.

I would ignore the solicitor and give that bitches husband every bit of detail you have about their affair.

And I would phone the police to go and see her about hate crime. She is abusing someone who has a disability and thinks its fine. And her friends think it's fine as they hear her do it. Be happy you don't associate with any of them, they are horrible people.

Good luck with everything you are doing very well in dealing with it all.

Wow, I truly feel for you but admire your strength and how together you are in yourself. What I don't understand is, if he was going to cheat, why would he cheat with a nasty bully who gossips about others and mocks disabled children? I mean, what would that say about him, that he is with a person who is a nasty bully? I personally would confront him about that and ask him why would he cheat with that type of person, and suggest to him that if he is attracted to such a nasty and hateful piece of work, what does that say about him?

He is disgusting and sounds like he has found his perfect match. Vile pair.

I am so appalled by the way you and your DS have been treated by your STXH. I would not want to know someone like the OW either.

You just keep on keeping on and you'll be OK. He will have to face his DS and one day he'll have to face himself too.

SalemBlackCat4 OW can be and usually is a very reasonable person when she is sober, after a couple of drinks she becomes a little vocal in her opinions, after a couple more drinks she makes rude/snide comments, a couple more and she is vile, she has the sense to save the really nasty things for when stbxh is not in the vicinity, therefore he only hears the mild stuff, and since DS wears headphones most of the time he thinks DS can't hear her, DS won't tell stbxh what she says at the time and only tells me later usually in the small hours of the morning, I tell stbxh, usually the next day and he either doesn't believe me or he doesn't believe DS, or he says he will "sort it out"

I'm falling apart, cannot concentrate on things I need to (mostly to do with DS) I can't stop feeling like we will lose everything, don't know if I really want to keep the house or sell it and buy something else, DS may never be fully independent and security for him is always on my mind but if stbxh decides that he wants some of the equity from it then we won't be able to buy another suitable house.

Hope you're doing ok

LuluBellaBlue, thanks, I'm not great but I'm not sinking any further, just to make matters worse the car has decided to play up and the cat has done a disappearing act.

Come on,you've got great kids,the cat will come back - they always do .. and your 12 stone idiot lighter ..hot bath bath and relax 💐💐

Tread water OP, tread water 💐

I feel for you so much, @Have you, having followed your thread throughout. Your strength has been amazing - I'm not surprised you're having the odd dark moment now. Surely it would be deemed inappropriate to move son out of his home (if you decide you and kids want to stay there, i mean) due to his neurological issues? Both my children have ASD (etc) and I really do admire your strength and empathise with you. My eldest does similar - takes in upsetting things then spills them out to me very late at night, leaving me feeling incredibly protective but somewhat helpless at the same time. But you're doing great and judging by how well you've done so far you will get the best outcome for you. You sound like a fantastic parent.

@datingdisaster41, yes it may be deemed inappropriate to move out of the family home and from what my solicitor has said (it is unlikely that we would be made to sell the house) it probably won't be necessary but staying here may affect DS more than moving would as it is the family home and the family is now split, iyswim. It may just be easier for ds to start our new family life in a new family home.

How are you today have

Just seen your updates.
Nothing to add but some for you. Your children are so lucky to have you. X