Dating Thread 136 - Can Anybody Find Me Somebody to Love?

[ValMc1]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I don't mean man I mean anyone that you are dating

Minnie has he got his Instagram linked to tinder or bumble? I have noticed some people have which is probably where they pick up random people? I wouldn't class it as a red flag though I tend to avoid people that have lots of women on their fb friends list, have snooped on a few profiles where they have lots of foreign pretty ladies as friends (probably people they don't really know).

Love as far as I know he isn't on Tinder or Bumble anymore but as far as I remember he didn't have it linked when we met. It has been 6 months and he came off them a while ago. I haven't noticed any dating apps on his phone or notifications popping but that this was in the back of my mind. That the women may have them linked which is how he is finding them. I may have to just bring it up when I next see him.

Wow, these threads are going at a rate of knots! Have tried to keep up but it's hard plus Kin keeps making me laugh

Have pretty much hit pause for now, have hidden my POF profile and binned a couple of guys I was talking to as well as my FWB.
Several meet ups with Mr Tennis led to an epic 13 hour date! We spent the day at an exhibition/amusement arcade/cinema interspersed with hours laying talking in various parks. Took me home and behaved pretty respectfully for an hour before leaving. Definitely been a slow burn as he's not my usual type aesthetically (which hasn't been helpful in weeding out players in the past!) Suddenly it's all there, he's very tactile and good with ahem flirtatious texts and I'm staying over at his tomorrow. And next weekend.
To make sure he's wowed, I managed to burn my décolletage on Brighton beach yesterday so let's hope he finds the red bib look attractive...

Well I haven't had a match on Bumble for about a week. I'm worried I'm actually going to run out of people on it now. I guess online dating can be great fun when you have the knack, but when over 100 single people have effectively told you they don't think you're worth talking to, it doesn't help the old self-esteem.

Thanks to those people who have given me advice and guidance, but it's starting to feel like it's not going to work

Gosh I can't keep up with everyone haha!

Re the comment about over investing - I'm not an expert by any means but I'd say just keep your options open and keep seeing others/ chatting to others.

It is obvious you have your favourites though I've begun to notice that! I'm speaking to around 30 different guys regularly 🙈 although not physically met any of them yet. One or 2 though I get a little flutter when I see its them... others I just think oh it's you 😂
I'm sure it'll be different when I've met a few IRL

dan I feel like this a lot, including right now. Only advice is keep on - every time I feel like that, and there's no one in the pipeline, someone pops up to chat, and the self esteem is (temporarily) restored. OLD is HARSH.
Be kind to yourself, and take breaks from it when it's not fun anymore.

Been out for the day and trying hard to catch up.

How do I find an even semi normal bloke who I actually fancy and fancies me back?!?. When you find the answer to this Sky please let me know, I’m having the same problem!

Dan I think a lot of us feel exactly the same way as you. Earlier today I was getting low about the fact that all my Irons didn’t appear interested anymore, I’d been blocked by two for no apparent reason and Mr Local is playing very cool darn him.

Then this evening suddenly I’m talking to three at the same time, it changes so quickly that I’m slowly learning to just go with the flow of the weird and wonderful land of OLD.

Don’t despair, there is someone out there and who knows tomorrow they may suddenly appear.

Hah - WD40 - that’s where I’ve been going wrong!

To the person that asked earlier, I was worried that I’d have forgotten how to DTD but glad to say that I hadn’t even after a very very (very) long dry spell!

Quick question, first date ideas?!

I'm going for a date on Wednesday with a guy I've been talking to for a few days, I'm calling him Mr Nextdoor as it turns out he only lives a street away from me!

He's asked me what I'd like to do (I'd personally rather the guy took charge but I'll let it go!)
Anyway I've just suggested going for a drink but it got me wondering what everyone else does on a first date, what's the best one you've been on? And the worst?!

Wishy I generally go for a drink for a first date. Worst one is easy, last Friday lunchtime met someone for coffee and wanted to run screaming for the hills as soon as I saw him, how I lasted just over an hour I will never know! Best was with Mr Local, a spur of the moment drink together, we laughed all night and ended it in a very passionate snog or three.

I personally prefer a drink to a meal as it leaves you more openings to finish the date early if it’s not as expected!

@HalfDutchGirl thanks, I thought the same thing!!

Although Mr Nextdoor has just asked if I'd rather go round to his and watch love island ..... I should run now shouldn't I?!!!

Lol wishy, at least he is trying! I read an article the other day that suggested men ask women round to watch love island as a good date idea so maybe he read that!

dan don't give up - this is an odd time of year to date too. You do it in January and there are loads and loads of people doing it. In summer a lot more people are out and about and doing their own thing. I would suggest you look at POF and OKC too. I found bumble ok but loads more people on those sites and virtually everyone on bumble on POF/OKC anyway and a load more

@DaffoDeffo really?!

See I thought it was a really odd suggestion so I've told him I'd rather go for a drink?! Was that wrong?!
I imagine it would be harder to escape from someone's house plus I don't want to talk to anyone when love island is on!

Then there's the fact that I will blatantly perve over new Jack

Wishy I absolutely agree with you. Must meet in a public place first date. I thought the article was ridiculous and probably written by a man! But I imagine your fella didn't really think it through and was probably trying to suggest something he thought you would like.

Lol at perving over new Jack!

He's now offering to cook me tea? He seems concerned about missing love island and is pushing for that option 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

He's said several times he won't try anything on, but it just doesn't really feel right for a first date I'd rather stay public!

Yes Wishy definitely stay in public for the first date! Just imagine if you went to his for tea and love island and he was truly awful!

I don’t watch Love Island so have no idea who new Jack is and whether he’s worth perving over - maybe I should watch it!!

Oh he definitely is 😍😍😍

I can't be bothered replying to him tonight I'll tell him tomorrow that I'd rather stay public

Glad I have this thread though, start to doubt yourself and wonder if you're the strange one for thinking these things!

Yes this thread is brilliant as a sounding board! I've even put away the WD40!

Morning everyone! Have fun dates everyone who's off on one today.

Today must be 'dick pic Saturday morning' woke up to two of them this morning ffs, at least let me have my cup of coffee first!

Wishy does he actually live next door or just near by? I know people say to meet in public first but I have been to peoples houses/flats on a first date and all has been ok, but if your not comfortable with it then say ‘no’, I’m sure love island isn’t that important?

Half my Saturday last week was like that (2 dick pics and a video), I haven’t got any today, just a boring Saturday morning here.

Mr Campervan still messaging, I’m not sure if he’s coming over later, he did mention it on Thursday but hasn’t mentioned it since, he’s working today so is likely to just turn up (or not turn up) after work.

I have a child free day tomorrow, I’m not sure if I should meet up with Mr Weirdo, Mr Campervan is working and then watching the football with his friend, I don’t want to waste a Sunday moping around the house. Mr Weirdo also likes paddleboarding so I’m thinking of meeting up for a paddle.

Lol at Mr Weirdo 😂😂 I've possibly missed why he's called that but it always makes me chuckle when I read the names of some of them on here!

@Lovemusic33 he lives on the street next door to mine, I'm not so worried about him trying anything on, it's more a case of if he's awful I'll find it harder to do a runner!

Wishy yes I'd be tempted to go for a drink so you have the opportunity to run far easier! You can watch Love Island at his next time if its a successful date!

Love Why not meet up with Mr Weirdo, it'll keep your mind off Mr Campervan, (unless of course he is really very weird!) and like you say it'll save you a Sunday morning of moping.

I'm off for second date with Mr Perv now, he's ok, wonder if I'll feel any different seeing him for a second time?

That feeling when you've been full of wind since 8pm and can finally, safely, let it out :)

Kin

Date finally arranged with Mr Nextdoor although if he'd said "I don't mind it's up to you" one more time there wouldn't have been one at all. I'm using him as a bit of a practice run if I'm honest as it the first "first date" I've been on in about 19 years! Past relationships I've always known people a bit first via others in some way so first time dating a total stranger!

Date I'm most looking forward to is Mr Effron he's only 24 and I have no idea if I'm attracted to him in the slightest but we've been texting for 2 weeks now and he's both intellectual and hilarious which I love and I know there'll be no awkwardness with him

Also got a date with Mr Horizontal next week, I have a feeling all he wants is sex but he's good looking and quite amusing and tbh it's been a while so I'm prepared to go there if the date goes well. He's definitely not a keeper though

Hope everyone's having a good weekend! Looking forward to hearing how all those with dates have got on