Dating Thread 136 - Can Anybody Find Me Somebody to Love?

[ValMc1]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

hatty yes it's a paid site

I was on it back in Feb but came off as I met someone. Went back on now and a lot of the people are the same! This will be me!

Still feel sad about last night. Is so unlike me. Have done loads of dates- still can't quite figure out why this one got to me so much.

Kin yes that will be easy but possibly technically challenging but adaption is my middle name.

My subscription to Match ran out yesterday and I've suddenly got 60 + views and 27 messages - my normal hit rate was about 10/2 - ummm. Would be really interested in hearing about GS before signing up and paying money.

Kin Freud has an awful lot to answer for!

I've just been asked out by a 24 year old that I've been chatting to on and off for the last few days.

Do I?? 👀

val I had a massive amount of success with GS when I went on it Feb. Met 3/4 genuinely lovely people. I think because it is a paid site, you do get a lot of men who are far more serious about having a relationship. There seemed to be a lot of people in my age range (43-55) within 10 miles (I initially had almost 60 matches who didn't want kids). But it is quite 'worthy' if you get my drift.

It's not as instant as the other sites - it's a slow burner and people write a lot about themselves and expect you to too.

I have heard that if you aren't in a big city it isn't great but maybe some of the others have experience of this.

wish why not? What's the age gap?

Daff I live in a large town (although not sure how many of them read the Guardian or can actually read judging. by some of my local dates) but I'm only 25 minutes from London so think it may well be worth a try.

val I did GS at the start of last year. I met a lovely man and we dated for 9 months. I have gone back to it (free version only) and I'm seeing exactly the same faces as last year! So that has put me off paying for it.

wish go for it!

val I'm all for lowering the tone. We all need to lighten up sometimes, support each other and have a laugh along the way. I missed your euphemism the first time. I'm slipping!

Your concert banter was hilarious the other night!

@ValMc1

He's 24 I'm 36 ....

My last relationship was with a 22 year old but he ended up more like a 3rd child 🤔

Sod it, it's only a drink. I'm saying yes

Bendy it was a good night - I saw them last Sunday as well but was seated that time which I hate - and on my own - so to be able to do some crap moves with good company was great.

with good company

Keep that up and my head will be exploding tonight!

kin you are filthy

For goodness sakes guys I can't keep up this thread moves so quickly!! Thanks for starting the new one Val

Quick update for those interested I met with Mr Local last night for the second time and, as expected DTD!! Oh my, was good to 'get back in the saddle' again after nearly a year!! Did bring up a whole host of unexpected emotions for me though and, after I left, I felt very sad, I think it was like a final nail in the coffin from my 13 year old relationship that finished last September. Was really strange how sad and tearful I felt.

Will see Mr Local again and did try and tell him I wasn't just a quick shag (in a light-hearted way) he explained in a round about way that he's not looking for anything serious til he's got his new job sorted. So we'll see - I'm going to try and play it cool and maybe it'll be a slow burn.

Today at lunch had a last minute meet up with someone I've been messaging for a while and.... it was awful!!! First date I've had that as soon as I saw him I wanted to run a mile! I endured just over an hour, my he was soooo boring and full of himself and then to make matters worse starting telling me how much he liked me! Oooo eck, won't be seeing him again .... next!

wishy I was going to say go for it, but you obviously already have!!

I'm far too slow to keep up with you all.

I was considering giving up, but I'm still there lol.

Have an iron I think, although he had to cancel our date Wednesday due to work, we had a lovely phone chat last night and he's amazing. Or sounds it. Few spooky coincidences like the shared love of a place, that actually is not close enough to either of us to be on our doorstep, and our daughters have the same name. Hoping to chat to him again tonight and trying to sort a sitter for next week.

Also talking to someone else, but I'm not sure. What started as casual banter has involved into a very clear on his part expression of Dom/sub relationships. Which I'm not actually opposed to and he's amazing with words but I don't think I actually fancy him! Can't decide if I should meet him and see or not.

Hopefully out with friends tomorrow night, and a past date may well be coming with as my plus one. He's a great guy and we can talk and talk but I'm just not sure if there is any spark for either of us. But it's company on a night out so I'm not always the third wheel.

I need to try and catch up with you all properly

Ai Ai! Checking in on the new thread!

halfdutch whenever you feel like you are wobbling or thinking in a odd way, think OXYTOCIN. You have been flooded with oxytocin after a long while out the saddle, it can feel quite intoxicating ;)

love if you keep getting UTI's they need to send a sample when you are not on antibiotics to see what bug is growing (might just be interstitial cystitis). I am prone to them unfortunately, don't leave it like I always do if it doesn't improve within 48 hours. Sounds good with Mr Camper.

So I have two guys on the go at the moment, both local, both know each other, both share the same name. Its early days with one, but the other is my Ex (or not so ex) FWB, we are seeing each other probably once a week. He won't give a shit, he will be totally cool about it. I know this for certain. The other one knows about ex FWB and knows our set up and is happy to just keep it between us at the moment (we have only met twice but he is really lovely and I like him, he is 10 years younger, so probably just a fling and no more (he also lives an hour away but comes back to my town every now and again). Both know Mr Architect well, so it could get a bit messy.

Still off tinder, Mr Suprise hasn't been back in touch since last weekend, Mr French is hovering about but making no effort to come see me, and Mr Intruing from way back when and I still chat a lot on text but neither has pushed to meet each other again, he is a bit like a pen pal now!

Locally in the summer everyone goes out more, lots more dinner invites, visitors etc so I am looking forward to the next few months and being as free as a bird!

I feel like such a fool! Met someone on OLD and after a shaky start (he got flaky after a month or so), we got back together and things have been going great - or so I thought. Met each other’s friends, few events planned for summer etc. Got a text today saying he wants to watch football tomorrow with his mates, busy on Sunday, not ready for commitment or a relationship. I feel such an idiot - I know it’s really early days but I thought we had something - I’ve massively over invested, I know, I just feel a bit sad

nowthefunbegins the best cure for overinvestment disappointment is to have more dates with more people. Don't wallow, just get back out there! There are so many possibilities in life, this was just one that didn't work out as you had hoped. There are a gazillion others that may do. But not if you don't make them happen.

Kin did you read the words before that bit ?

• so to be able to do some crap moves with good company was great.

I was commenting on your dancing lol

Oh peeps I'm sitting here crying - my ex has just got off the phone asking to try again. We split in January but have remained in touch - lovely guy but we just had a very different outlook in life - he would never have gone to see Queen the other night for instance as he's not that into them - didn't matter if I wanted to see them. So I threw in the towel. He has just promised me he will change etc etc - I've just started to find my single, enjoyable feet again and now this. Can't see to type anymore - shit.

Nowthefunbegins completely agree with Bendy I’ve found that ploy works with me. I totally overinvest in people and have definitely found that playing the field is the best antidote. Please don’t feel an idiot though, it happens to the best of us and the footie and the sun has probably addled his brain a bit or he may suddenly have got cold feet. Take a step back and hit the dating sites again.

Pudding - thank you have just looked up Oxytocin - well you learn something everyday!

Marking 🦄

Val people don't change. They say they will because that is what you want to hear. He is probably just lonely and miserable and has no thought for the upheaval he is causing you. You are worth more. You deserve to have fun and joy in your life. If he doesn't bring this then you were right to end it. You didn't have any regrets until he rang did you? Try and put him out of your head and keep enjoying the freedom to have fun, go to concerts and play the field. I suspect you are much happier now than when you were with him, yes? If so, keep reminding yourself of that. We only get one life to live, you know.

Stay strong.

Poor you Val. I went out for a walk and bumped into my ex from 2015 fgs and immediately burst into tears fgs lol. Luckily he is v sweet and we had a laugh and I do feel a lot better. I'm just having one of those 'I'm never going to meet anyone special moments!

He shouldn't be playing with your emotions like this Val it isn't fair. What took him till now?!

Oh Val my lovely, I can so understand your feelings right now. How long did you go out with him for? I agree with Bendys post.

Oh Val, big hug to you. Let all that grief out and then remember all the reasons you threw in the towel and ask yourself if you think he can really become a different person.