Dating Thread 136 - Can Anybody Find Me Somebody to Love?

[ValMc1]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

wishy great news!

He sounds very... nice not a bad boy Enjoy the date!

Hahaha no he's definitely not a bad boy!!

Thing is if I meet a "bad boy" IRL I am attracted to them (I've had my fair share!) however with OLD I find them either a) cringey and too "try hard" b) incapable of maintaining any form of conversation other than "hey babe w u doing?" or c) bendy got there first!

To be honest with him it's the fact he makes me laugh so much that's done it. I very nearly didn't reply to his first message as I viewed his pictures and thought he looked too nice but the more we've chatted the more I've felt attracted to him. Anyway, I shall let you know how it all goes, date isn't until next week so we'll possibly be another 3 threads in by then!

UnimaginativeUsername I like your description of your type, I'm definitely attracted to guys like that but having been in some abusive relationships with many nasty guys over the years i wouldn't call those bad boys!
It's all in the eye of the beholder I guess.

wishy lol at me getting there first!!

I've got some dates lined up (not all bad boys). Mr Dimples midweek (yippee), Mr XCIV later in the week, Mr CT (kinky nerd) and Mr 29B (young good bantz) next week and the week after (he is away). Who knows when I'll see Mr TD again. He has been very laid back (not interested?) so I'm here but not waiting on him.

I just wish I had more time!

wishy don't rule a ltr out with him! I have had age gaps like that that worked fine! But yes rather enjoy it for now....you lucky thing!

Tonight is Mr Local who is a non communicator. Haven't heard a thing from him since we set this up but it should still be fun.

MrFa (tomorrow) is being hugely communicative but I am being sensible and holding back in a big way as I refuse to do the over investing thing again. On that note I am thinking a FWB with bloke1 (who is up for it) is the way to go to stop it happening. I am going to have to try and tell MrFa tomorrow that this will not happen fast. He is racing away at 100mph!

Grrrr @ inflexibility. Was chatting to someone last night and got to the part where I asked her to meet. Despite me saying my daughter comes home from holiday tomorrow, she insisted on Wednesday or nothing... bad move... next!

@BendyLikeBeckham I too wish I had more time!

Daffo I am trying not to over invest, so I'm still arranging dates with others but Mr Youngbutold is the one i am most looking forward to. It may all be different once I've met others I suppose

I too have had LTR with younger so it's not totally being ruled out but like you say, just going to have fun with it for now

Agreed to a drink with Mr Arrogant next week too so that's 5 dates lined up now! Considering I hated OLD a few weeks ago, I'm enjoying it slightly more now!

That's not good kin. I always try to be quite flexible, even if it means waiting a week. Shame she's not prepared to offer other days though.

I was invited for some FWB fun last night!! I declined as my kids were home and would wonder where I was going at 11pm!! However hoping it can happen in a few weeks time. I am starting to think FWB might be the way forward right now. I don't think I need anything too heavy right now. Still waiting for Mr Academic to reply to my suggestion about Friday night.

It is what it is Tom, was a shame as she was interesting but I miss my daughter too much (it's the first holiday she's ever had without me being there),

I would never encourage someone down a road they are not comfortable with but it's good to see you're considering FWB - I think less and less people are interested in traditional live-in relationships these days and for good reasons.

Fingers still crossed for Mr Academic...

tomhardy We SUCers will bring you over to the dark side soon!

kin perhaps that's the only day she was available/had childcare?

untilthatday that was my bad boy description. I like good bad boys iykwim. Hence the clarification.

That may well have been the case Bendy, which is fair enough of course, but she was quite adamant with me that it was this Wednesday or never.

It's just a minor grumble though as I fully expect the queue Runs mentioned yesterday to materialise any day now

Then I'm sure she will be losing out kin

Here's to the imminent queue....

kin ultimately I do want to find someone for something long term, but I'm in the middle of a divorce and financial settlement so don't have the emotional capacity for anything beyond FWB. And you're right. Children should absolutely come first.

bendy remind me what SUC is?!

As long as you've thought about the pros and cons, which I'm sure you have Tom, go out, grab the opportunities with both hands and enjoy whatever connection (or lack thereof) that you feel you need at this stage of your life.

But more than that, enjoy yourself and have fun - you only live once!

Things are a bit quiet here, Mr Campervan still messaging, thought he was coming over today but now not sure, I have messaged him but he’s probably asleep as I think he was out last night, sent him a message at 9pm, no answer so I went to bed, phone buzzed as I got into bed at 10pm but I decided ‘if it’s going to take him a hour to answer I can’t be bothered’ so I just went to sleep. Not sure if this is going to work out, he’s always busy doing other things, he has lots of hobbies and lots of friends, I can’t really slot into his life style as I have kids, I can’t just drop everything at the last minute when he has spare time. I have messaged him asking if he’s coming over today and left it at that, he knows I’m home all day. I’m not going to chase after him.

This is going to sound harsh Love but I think you need to take a couple of eggs out of the basket labelled Mr Campervan and put them somewhere else, in order to regain a degree of perspective.

I think so Kin, I am trying, I’m talking to other people but not really securing any dates. Trying to keep myself busy and do other things (the weekend was great).

Just feeling a bit down at the moment as summer holidays are looming and I struggle to get any me time, summer holidays are hard with dd2 , I probably won’t have time to date.

Love I'd be inclined to agree with Kin

I'd definitely be keeping your options open at this stage

lovemusic surely with two busy people it's a case of slotting into each other's lives as and when it's possible? Making time for each other when you can, taking into account each other's commitments.

I wouldn't be too pessimistic at this stage. You enjoy each other's company and you are having fun. Even if that is sometimes tricky to arrange. Every single parent had this issue when dating, and you'll find the same availability issues at your end whomever you are seeing.

I second the advice to spread the eggs too! Always a good idea to have other options and imo concurrent lovers but I'm a slut

Tomhardy Sluts United Club!

Hahaha bendy I think having eggs in different baskets being a slut is the way forward to be honest! 14 years in a boring marriage (towards the end, I suppose it was ok at first! ) then 18 months in a stressful toxic relationship & this is the first time I've actually felt free and happy.

SUC all the way

wishy

Thanks Bendy, you are right, it easier for him as he doesn’t have kids, I’m sure if he wants to see me he will make time to do so. I have to tell him that I can’t make our Thursday date as I don’t have childcare (because ex is being awkward). He is coming over in a bit and taking me out for lunch so I will try and talk to him.

I think I will just make plans to go out with friends at the weekend if anyone’s free.

I don’t think I can really date anyone else due to not having much time with school holidays coming up, I just need to be patient and wait until September.

My fun with Tinder Gold has come to an end.
I had 2 dates from it - one blocked me, the other was deadly boring.
The 33yr old that agreed to a date has now gone.

I don't know why but I can't seem to attract any decent men. Looking back over the last year, all my dates have been with men that I've not really found attractive but thought they might look better in RL. Sadly they haven't and most have been like Mr Boring. But I'm not getting any better options.

I've got friends also doing OLD and they're getting dates with decent, good looking men. I seem to get the left overs.

So I'm finished with OLD.

That sounds like it may be about your approach then Runs as you are just as deserving of great dates as anyone else.

Have you submitted yourself for thread review? There are a few people on here who are really quite good at jazzing up profiles.

Thanks Kin but I've had my profile looked a couple of times. And got good feedback from it with only a few tweaks.
I've got new photos. I've tried all the sites over the last 18mths.

I just can't seem to get the attention of anyone remotely decent, so I end up settling for a date that I know won't go anywhere just to get out on a date.