I've been messaged by an OW

[Bloodyfucksake]

I've name changed.
My husband works away. I normaly have no trust issues. I'm busy at home- I work and have 3 DC.
I was out for the day with the DC and had my phone on battery saving mode so couldnt see the internet. Once I'd gotten home and charged it a bit I could see there were messages on Messenger and Instagram from the same woman.

She said she wanted to tell me about my husband. That somethinf had happened and she felt as a woman and mother that she should let me know.

I replied asking her to give me more information. Anyway, we exchanged a few messages. She said that my husband got her pregnant and that she lost it.

I'm not sure what to make of this. He's been gone for 4 weeks, and I'm pretty sure the 1st week he was working intensively. I know after that he has had the opportunity to go out. So even if she met him 3 weeks ago- could she have gotten pregnant and lost it?

She keeps saysing things like 'Don't think I'm a bitch' and 'Please stop freaking out' , 'Please stop caĺling your husband and freaking out at him'.

But I'm not freaking out. I called my husband once. He said he did go out with colleagues and meet a group of girls. That this one girl has been messaging him and apparently saying she has been sent from God to save our marriage.

Now, while maybe the pregnancy thing is not correct- what is he doing meeting up with girls. Why has she got his details.

I have asked her to explain to me what happened e.g. how she met him, how she knows him, what happened but her responses don't answer my questions. She just keeps saying "Don't freak out, please let me tell you the whole story" and "he loves you really"

I feel quite detached. As if theres some sort of drama going on that Im not really part of.

Any idea what I should do?

She sounds unhinged. However there's no smoke without fire. When's he back?

Oh I don't doubt that something has happened but probably not what she says... she sounds nuts. But don't take your husband's word for it- if he is innocent then he will have no problem with you exploring what she says for any kind of truth.

No smoke without fire. This is what I keep thinking. She wouldn't have his details and therefore mine if he hadn't given them.

What a weido!! i would be very confused and i actually would be freaking out as to why is he meeting girls and going for drinks and how has he met this crazy person

Well he admitted it so I guess my questions are answered.

What did he admit? When is he coming home?
What a horrible situation for you.

So sorry to hear.
Hope you are ok. Do you have someone in RL you can speak to, must be a big shock

So sorry your going through this op.
Do you have rl support?

Why would he give her your details?

Op are you OK? What a horrible situation :(

As soon as you said "works away" my heart sank op.

What industry does he work in? What has he admitted?

Admired meeting her in the group? Or sleeping with her?
She doesn’t sound consistent.

Could it be someone you know playing a cruel trick on you. I don't know how Instagram works but how would OW have your details.

Are you still talking to her?

Where is he and what did he admit to?

She sounds like a nutter! He may have had the same treatment from her - though quite how she knows your details is odd to say the least - I can't believe somebody sane would 'hook up' with someone so bonkers - surely it's hard to keep that level of crazy under control enough to form some sort of relationship?
Weird!

Can you find out from her when it was? And where?

If you don’t get anything more out of her, it’s your husband you need to confront.

You have DC, so you should know that no, this cannot have happened in a 3 week time frame.

What country is your DH in? Because you say 'girl' - just how young is she? Do you even know?

And how often has he been in that location?

Sorry to hear that. There’s probably a lot more too if he regulalrly works away. You dont go from devoted husband to getting someone oregnsnt in four weeks.

((Bloodyfucksake))

Sorry you're in this horrible situation. I wouldn't believe she's a complete butter, as some have said, and if you van contain your emotions (easier said than done, I know) try to get as much information as possible out of her. Chances are you re won't tell you everything, the real story will be somewhere between his and her versions, but she doesn't have anything to lose by telling you the truth. He does.

The website Surviving Infidelity will give you lots of info and a place to vent. I highly recommend taking a look. Take care of yourself.

Allpowerfullizard of course it can happen in 3 week?
If shed slept with him in the middle of her cycle then tested the day her period was due that would've meant there was another week left where she could have started bleeding and miscarried.

You dont go from devoted husband to getting someone oregnsnt in four weeks.

True but you also don't get pregnant, find out you're pregnant, lose it and start sending messages about in four weeks. And she doesn't sound like she has any answers or evidence for anything OP is asking. But if she was actually in some kind of delusion and she'd been messaging your husband, why wouldn't he tell you? It's all very odd.

sorry OP this is shit x

What has he admitted to? An affair?

He has admitted it pig. Also i knew less thanntwo weeks after having sex i was pregnant. Two weeks after conception is the ‘late’ point. I dont know anyone irl who didnt know before two weeks through superdrug pg tests!