Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

He made me eat paper

509 replies

Cantspellbutimmagic · 28/06/2018 03:02

I’m stuck in my situation
I know I can’t get out but it helps to write

Tonight after 3 days non stop verbal abuse or complete silence towards me
My husband found some pictures I drew of how I felt ( sad faces ect )

That day - he called his parents to our table
He said I had to explain myself and the images

I said it’s just how I feel , I draw sad things when I’m sad

He called the kids to watch and He said You have two options

Eat your drawings now or I will devorse you and take it all

I said no I won’t ?!? Why would you even suggest such things

After arguing about this for a while and refusing , his mum started pleading with me to eat the paper

After sometime he held me against the wall and shoved it all in my mouth then pushed me in the floor in front of our family

I can’t belive I was made to eat paper I’m so upset this has happened to me . And they saw

Has anyone ever heard of this before ?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 28/06/2018 03:06

Why are you stuck? What do you need in order to leave?

He is abusing you and your children.

pilesup · 28/06/2018 03:07

Are you in the UK or from the uk?

You need out of this marriage

Bibesia · 28/06/2018 03:31

Can you get help to leave, maybe from the police? This was criminal assault.

TheQueef · 28/06/2018 03:34

Are you in the UK?

You need help.

user764329056 · 28/06/2018 03:35

Do you have friends or family that you can turn to? Please get help xx

peepholepringle · 28/06/2018 03:36

You must leave OP. I fear for you and your children if you don't.
Call the police, he assaulted you. Thanks

Aus84 · 28/06/2018 03:38

Where do you live?

You've made the first step and shared what is happening to you. Just keep going...

LankinMcElf · 28/06/2018 03:43

Please be strong and get out of this abusive relationship. This is awful and it sounds like you’ve got kids too.
Get help from family, friends or authorities.
Don’t live with this

BasicUsername · 28/06/2018 03:49

Please tell us where you are OP, the advice might be different depending on where you live.

What you described was really shocking to read. It seems like abuse is "normal" for him and his family, considering that his mother was asking you to eat the paper! If she was a half decent mother she would have taken your side and let her son know that he is a fucking scumbag.

KC225 · 28/06/2018 04:23

How awful OP that you had to endure this. The other are right - this is assault. This not right, no partner would humiliate a loved like this and no decent mother would let their son abuse their spouse in this way. You deserve better and your children deserve better.

ArsenalsPlayingAtHome · 28/06/2018 04:31

I'm so sorry OP. I second what everyone else has already said.

You need out, you deserve a life without abuse and humiliation.

This is a toxic relationship for you & your children. To know that his parents witnessed what happened gives it an even scarier edge - they are validating and facilitating this abuse by letting him think it's acceptable & normal, & that you deserved it.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 28/06/2018 04:32

This isn't ok. This is terrible. Please remember that 90% of women murderered were done so by boyfriends/husbands. These things generally don't stop where they start.

Can you get somewhere safe. Do you have options. Be careful with your communications. You need to get out to a safe place. Can you whittle away some money?

ferntwist · 28/06/2018 04:41

I’m do sorry this happened to you. It’s terrible that his family allowed him to do this while they looked on. Please don’t stay with him, things will get worse. You deserve so much better.

cafenoirbiscuit · 28/06/2018 04:45

We are all here ..... you can do this. You deserve much better.

BitOutOfPractice · 28/06/2018 04:46

Oh my goodness what a really disturbing and frightening thing to happen op I'm so sorry.

He sounds like a very disturbed and dangerous individual. You need to get you and the children away from him.

What's your marital and housing situation op?

Coyoacan · 28/06/2018 04:54

That is so upsetting to read, OP, what can we do to help?

PoppyJ1 · 28/06/2018 05:08

OP, if you are in the UK, you need to contact Women's Aid and the police. They will be able to advise you. This is a terrible, dangerous situation and you need help to get out. I'm so sorry this happened to you, you don't deserve it, no one does. If you are elsewhere, there should be other organisations that can help you.

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/06/2018 05:23

My goodness. You need to separate and get the divorce under way. This is terrible abuse. If you cannot find the strength to end it for yourself, you must for the children. Flowers. They can’t stay in this situation a moment longer. His parents should have called social services not begged you to eat the paper.

Do you have a friend or family member, who could help you? Women’s aid is a good place to start.

Is he a tyrant with your children and his parents as well?

Shoxfordian · 28/06/2018 05:38

Op are you ok? Can you call the police from where you are?

AcrossthePond55 · 28/06/2018 05:38

If you are in the USA call 1 800 799-7233

www.thehotline.org/

You can escape. They can help you.

MrsMaisel · 28/06/2018 05:39

This is really distressing to read. No one should treat you like this. Please seek some support and get out.

cariadlet · 28/06/2018 05:43

This is awful. I echo what others have said: you need to get away from this abuser. If you don't have separate bank accounts then try to set up your own account and if you don't have a job then try to find other ways of building up an escape fund eg by using a debit card and asking for cash back when you shop at a supermarket.

The fact that he did this in front of his parents and that his mother pleaded with you to eat the paper makes me wonder if she is being abused by his father. He could have grown up seeing an abusive relationship as the norm. (not that that's an excuse - he's a grown man and can make his own decisions.)

RideOn · 28/06/2018 05:48

I haven't heard of that exact scenario. But sadly I have heard about similar domestic violence. I am sorry this happened to you and I am sorry his family didn't intervene. I am also sorry your children were present.
The verbal abuse and physical abuse will continue whilst you stay. There may be a break tomorrow and he is more charming, but you will feel the tension rising again soon.

What is keeping you? How can you overcome those things?

gingergenius · 28/06/2018 05:49

You are being seriously abused. And it sounds like it's been going on for a while?

Original poster
Cantspellbutimmagic · 28/06/2018 05:59

I feel so frustrated and desperate that someone did that to me .... I’m mortified

I can’t go into much detail about why but I can’t leave

His parents do not speak English so theres a language barrier- but he translated what he wanted them to hear ... what he said I did I don’t know 🤷‍♀️..... I believe they didn’t want us to separate so were also upset

So eventually agreed I should eat the paper

Everything is always my fault
He has never hit me but is extremely verbally abusive or I get quiet treatment for days and weeks
Suddenly one day he will come back and ask “are you better now ? “ or just pretend it never happened ...

Thank you for listening - I’m truely greatful x

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread