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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He made me eat paper

509 replies

Cantspellbutimmagic · 28/06/2018 03:02

I’m stuck in my situation
I know I can’t get out but it helps to write

Tonight after 3 days non stop verbal abuse or complete silence towards me
My husband found some pictures I drew of how I felt ( sad faces ect )

That day - he called his parents to our table
He said I had to explain myself and the images

I said it’s just how I feel , I draw sad things when I’m sad

He called the kids to watch and He said You have two options

Eat your drawings now or I will devorse you and take it all

I said no I won’t ?!? Why would you even suggest such things

After arguing about this for a while and refusing , his mum started pleading with me to eat the paper

After sometime he held me against the wall and shoved it all in my mouth then pushed me in the floor in front of our family

I can’t belive I was made to eat paper I’m so upset this has happened to me . And they saw

Has anyone ever heard of this before ?

OP posts:
GabriellaMontez · 28/06/2018 09:29

You can leave. It's possible. This doesn't have to be your life.

Please get your children away from this monster.

Ohmydayslove · 28/06/2018 09:34

She’s posted before. Op please come back even if you think you can’t leave today no one is judging you. Not at all. Just here to listen to you.

ReginaPhalange20 · 28/06/2018 09:35

OP I'm sorry. That's utterly disgusting behaviour. Please go to a women's refuge if you're in the U.K. and call the police

Original poster
Cantspellbutimmagic · 28/06/2018 09:41

Things are escalating but slowly over the years. Nothing I do makes his behaviour towards me better it slowly gets worse

I do not have close friends or family

(I am not Asian nor is he )

I don’t feel I can leave

I just feel very alone and sad this has what my life has become

Yesterday was the most physical and humiliating thing he made me do - I feel I’m in shock

I will be ok - thank you for hearing and confirming this is not ok

It’s so easy for things to warp in your mind and it to become normal

I know I’m weak - Thank you and sorry

OP posts:
Original poster
Cantspellbutimmagic · 28/06/2018 09:44

Ps yes I have posted before - this is not somthing new for me .... I have no one to talk too and writing it out helps... sorry I won’t post anything again

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 28/06/2018 09:44

Do you want this life for your children?

Seriously?

If you want to choose this life for yourself and insist you can't leave, that's your affair. But what about your children who will witness this and, more than likely, be abused themselves as they age. As a mother you need to start thinking about protecting them.

Sorry if that sounds blunt, but really.

friskybivalves · 28/06/2018 09:45

You are not weak at all. You have reached out on this site and that is a sign of strength. Can you use some more of that strength to talk to wise people in real life who will spring into action to help?

ShatnersWig · 28/06/2018 09:46

OP We're not criticising you for posting again. You post as often as you like. But writing it out helps how? It makes you realise it's not acceptable. But then you're just going to sit there and let it carry on? That's not helping you and it's certainly not helping your children.

LoveInTokyo · 28/06/2018 09:47

Are you in the UK, OP?

Please don't stop posting. Even if you don't feel able to leave right now, please keep posting.

You are not alone. Brew

TheTeaFairy · 28/06/2018 09:48

OP

Do you WANT to leave?

If you do, or if you would like to talk to someone kind and non-judgemental about your situation, the first step is to call Women's Aid's free helpline on 0808 2000 247.

Please do this. We are all willing you to get yourself and your children out of this dangerous situation. Flowers

thetemptationofchocolate · 28/06/2018 09:50

OP you don't deserve any of this, not at all.

fieryginger · 28/06/2018 09:50

Why can't you leave, OP. What is stopping you from seeking help?? You know this won't get easier?

TheTeaFairy · 28/06/2018 09:51

You are not weak at all. You have been very brave to post about what's happening to you. That's a massive step in the right direction.

Please keep posting. You can change your life.

Bytheseabythesea · 28/06/2018 09:52

This is not OK and is not normal. HE is not normal. The problem is with HIM not with you. He will not change. I want you to keep hearing those things and to keep thinking those things and I hope hope hope in time you will have the energy and strength to take your children and leave him.

There are people who can help you. The police will help. Women's organisations will help. If you call the police he could be gone today. If he hurts you again call the police.

One thing you can do now is to find your and the children's passports and put them in a safe place, out of the house. Another thing you can do today is put some money in a safe place. Keep adding to it.

diddl · 28/06/2018 09:52

He called the kids to the table to watch-and his parents???

Do the kids go to nursery/school?

If so, they might tell someone what happened.

MiniTheMinx · 28/06/2018 09:53

It doesn't surprise me to hear that you have no one close to you, it's impossible to maintain friendships and family when living with this sort of abuse.

Please keep posting. People here want to help you.

Why do you feel that you can't leave?

Branleuse · 28/06/2018 09:54

Why cant you leave?
Is this how you want to spend and end your life? Is this what you want your children to grow up to be too? To become an abuser or abused, because this will be their normal. This is what you and your husband are teaching as normal.
If not, you have to concentrate on finding a way to leave or escaping.

NewMinouMinou · 28/06/2018 09:55

Please just give us a rough indication of where you are OP - county will do so we can help you to find a refuge or a help agency.

You sound hopeless but you’re not.

snewname · 28/06/2018 09:56

How can you say when things are good? Things can never be good when behaviour like that has happened.
Please gather the strength to leave. Do it for your kids if not for yourself. They should not be involved in a situation where their mother is abused by their father - ever, let alone systematically.

TheTeaFairy · 28/06/2018 09:56

Do you feel able to write down why you feel you can't leave?

Perhaps if you could do that, we could help you to work out a way forward? One small step at a time.

Posting on here this morning was a huge thing to do. Now you need time to work out what to do next. Stay with us.

GreatThingsWork · 28/06/2018 09:56

You can leave, it will be hard but it is possible. Imagine yourself in the future and still with him, and that may give you a new perspective. I was in a similar situation and I thought about how I would feel if I grew old with him. Also think of your children, do you want them to think this is a 'normal' way to treat a partner or be treated in a relationship? You will get lots of support here, please keep positing.

Kittykat93 · 28/06/2018 09:57

Why can't you get your children and leave right now, today? If you don't you'll all end up living a life of misery or dead. Please please leave if not for yourself then your poor innocent children who need you to protect them.

Ohmydayslove · 28/06/2018 09:58

you are not weak

You must be strong to live this life in fear. but op if your children tell School teachers etc about this SS will step in.

You have trusted us enough to tell us. That’s brave you are brave please please tell your kids school teacher? Your doctor? Or just dial the police. you do not need to live this life you can rescue yourself and your kids from this vile vile man

Keep posting

PieAndPumpkins · 28/06/2018 09:58

Oh I could cry for you, OP. Please do something. Please protect yourself and protect your children. You don't need local family and friends support, you can do this. Phone Women's Aid, they will help you. Please, protect your children. Don't let them see any more, they are being abused too.

DeputyBrennan · 28/06/2018 09:58

Please let people help you. Your situation will not improve spontaneously. It just won't. You and your children aren't safe.

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