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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

He made me eat paper

509 replies

Cantspellbutimmagic · 28/06/2018 03:02

I’m stuck in my situation
I know I can’t get out but it helps to write

Tonight after 3 days non stop verbal abuse or complete silence towards me
My husband found some pictures I drew of how I felt ( sad faces ect )

That day - he called his parents to our table
He said I had to explain myself and the images

I said it’s just how I feel , I draw sad things when I’m sad

He called the kids to watch and He said You have two options

Eat your drawings now or I will devorse you and take it all

I said no I won’t ?!? Why would you even suggest such things

After arguing about this for a while and refusing , his mum started pleading with me to eat the paper

After sometime he held me against the wall and shoved it all in my mouth then pushed me in the floor in front of our family

I can’t belive I was made to eat paper I’m so upset this has happened to me . And they saw

Has anyone ever heard of this before ?

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 28/06/2018 07:33

If you don't feel support people can get back to you in time, then walk into a police station with your children and ask for help. Today. You can stay there until you have somewhere safe to go to. Sort out the house when you're safe, for now please get out of there and to a safe place.

If your children are at school then you go to the station and they can collect the children and get them to you.

If you don't want to go to a police station then a church, a women's centre, even a food bank. People care and they will help get you to a safe place.

Please come back and let us know you are safe. Or if you tell us a vague location we can point you in the right direction.

Lovemusic33 · 28/06/2018 07:34

No one has to stay with an abusive partner, NO ONE!
Please contact woman’s aid for help, get out and as far away from him as possible. He is destroying you and your children. His family are as bad as he is to sit and watch him do that to you. You have options (we all do) and there’s lots of help and advice out there.

Your children are at risk if you stay with him, do what’s right for them. I don’t mean to scare you but if you don’t leave and social services ever get involved they will want to know why you didn’t protect your children and yourself from this abusive man. Many people on here have been in similar situations (including me), there’s great advice on here, please listen to it.

Clearoutre · 28/06/2018 07:35

You asked if anyone has heard of this before and the answer is a resounding yes - it’s abuse.

The systems in place are there to support exactly those who ‘can’t get out’ i.e. you - be it cultural, financial, religious, a language barrier, living situation, etc these are not barriers to getting help and your husband is not above the law.

Lovemusic33 · 28/06/2018 07:36

I am guessing you are not living in the uk OP? Are you worried he will leave with the children? Will stop you taking them? Is this why you can’t leave?

colditz · 28/06/2018 07:40

Leave or die. I know you think you can’t, I know you think if you can just control this, change that, be quieter better stronger he will stop, but he won’t, he will keep getting worse and he will kill you.

Leave. Or die.

Ohmydayslove · 28/06/2018 07:40

The op says she is in the uk I think. Her dh and his family are not.

Ohmydayslove · 28/06/2018 07:40

Sorry not from the uk but here

elfies · 28/06/2018 07:41

If you're from the Uk and your husband is foreign , would it mean your husband would have to leave the uk if you divorce ?
If so , you're in a dangerous situation ......please go to a place of safety

Ohmydayslove · 28/06/2018 07:42

Op can you tell us why you feeltiu can’t leave? Is it what elfies says? Are you afraid he will take the kids?

StealthPolarBear · 28/06/2018 07:44

Why are you stuck? You and your children are at risk of injury and death.

Jimmers · 28/06/2018 07:45

You may feel as though you can’t possibly leave... you absolute can, and must for your own safety as well as your children. Previous posters have given details of Women’s Aid, and how to approach the police. Please, please take that advice.

OP, the first step is always the hardest to take. I hope you find the strength you need to do this x

Mammalamb · 28/06/2018 07:47

Quite possibly the most horrific thing I’ve read. Are you in the Uk? Get yourself and the kids to the nearest police station now. And get out

Jimmers · 28/06/2018 07:47

Do you take the children to school? If so, there’s another opportunity to get help... Go into school with them & speak to staff there. They will contact the police on your behalf, and school will be a safe place while you get the help you desperately need.

Worieddd · 28/06/2018 07:51

You poor woman Sad please seek help

IMissGin · 28/06/2018 07:52

There’s no reason not to leave after that. Nothing that can’t be overcome. Please call women’s aid, tell any friends/family and get help to get away from this awful man.

speakout · 28/06/2018 07:53

OP are you still there?
Are you OK? Please keep talking.
You are not alone.

listsandbudgets · 28/06/2018 07:54

No this is not right and not normal. He os in the UK niw and the law does not allow hom to humiliate his wife, beat her or force her to eat paper LET ALONE in front of her children. As for his parents words fail me.

Lots of people here will tell you starting again with nothing is infinately preferable to what youre dealung with. It may seem scary to leave but from where I am sitting staying sounds even scarier.

Pick up the phone. Get help

Ohmydayslove · 28/06/2018 07:57

Has he told you you can’t leave op? He’s fucking wrong. You can. This country has people and laws to protect you and your children.

Whisky2014 · 28/06/2018 07:59

He isn't going to leave you. Thats why he made you eat paper..otherwise why wouldnt he just leave, why make you eat paper at all? So what you need to do is pack a bag and a bag for the kids and go to the police. He cannot "take it all" FYI. Thats just something they say to keep you in your place.

BloodyBosch · 28/06/2018 08:00

You cannot let your children grow up thinking this is ok. You can leave. There is support out there.
He will follow the script and tell you he will take the children etc, but it is all just things they say to keep you under control.
This man is dangerous. Get your paperwork and anything else you need to a safe place and leave quickly & quietly. You CAN do this.
You will be happier and your children safer & happier.

Parky04 · 28/06/2018 08:04

What about your family? If one of my DC were being abused as you are, I would provide all of the help I could to get them to leave this pathetic excuse of a human being.

Twinkletoes90 · 28/06/2018 08:04

OP - please please leave - things will get worse - its not your fault!!
take the kids and go!!! forget him and his family what they want think about you and your children!
please let us no your ok? You are not alone!

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 28/06/2018 08:05

OP, I am so sorry this has happened to you.
I echo what everyone else has said, you need to leave.

There are a few things I would want to add.
I would call the police on 101 and log this incident so that they have a record.
This is not meant to alarm you, but leaving an abusive man is the most dangerous time. You need to be careful about how you do it.
Do you have a friend you can confide in? I would move things to a separate place, eg important documents, children’s clothes & toys, all,essentials.
Are your in laws staying with you or can you sort out your stuff without anyone seeing?
On the day you leave, I would do things as normal. Take the children to school, and let the school know and collect them at lunchtime.

UnicornMummy27 · 28/06/2018 08:07

He is a narcissistic through and through. Will never change. Will only get worse. You have 2 choices. Either put up with it or get out!

LiquoricePickle · 28/06/2018 08:08

You can leave. You can. Do this site yourself and your children. If you leave are you worked he'll keep the children?

His parents should be ashamed of themselves and he is a disgusting, abusive animal.

You don't deserve this. There is literally nothing you could've done to deserve this.

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