I’ve got to cancel my wedding this weekend, I can’t marry him

[Wheresmeredithgrey]

I’ve just told my partner I can’t marry him this weekend. I can’t spend my life with him. For years I’ve been making excuse after excuse for him, building him up whilst I was fucking drowning and then today I just cracked. I nearly passed out in the city centre because I’m so drained, physically, emotionally. I hold up the whole family singlehandedly and I am made to feel constantly guilty.

We have both families coming, cousins, uncles, bridesmaids, groomsmen, work colleagues, friends, hotels, outfits, food, DJ’s, children, fucking flowers, elderly grandparents, all about to set soon to travel for our wedding that I can’t allow to happen.

What the fuck am I going to do.

Brave, brave woman💐

I've done this too!

The first call is such a huge relief of emotions that I actually quite enjoyed making the last few calls. I felt really proud of myself!

Do something nice on your 'wedding' day - be around those you love and just get a bit of support. It's a bit surreal but try and make it an 'I dodged that bullet' celebration.

You're very brave, and it definitely sounds like you're doing the right thing. Have my first ever 💐 x

Brave lady , I think most folks on here are proud of you .
Do something lovely on your non wedding day ,and treat yourself and your lovely mum .
Have a wonderful new start and a great new life .
Hugs and best wishes

I was an intended guest at a cancelled wedding and you are honestly doing the right thing. Mine involved long haul flights and complicated hotel bookings (2 different ceremony locations on different days) but really i was just a bit irritated and went on the holiday anyway (just without the wedding bits) and had a fab time.

It didn't matter that much to me and was obviously much more important to the cancelling bride that she didn't go ahead with it. She had now been happily married to someone else for over a decade and barely thinks about the wedding-that-never-was.

How did you get on OP?

I wish I'd had your courage 30+ years ago - I'd have saved myself a lot of heartache.

If I was one of your guests I'd want you to live a happy life, not be tied to someone who sounds awful. The mild inconvenience of a cancelled wedding wouldn't bother me at all - people will see the bigger picture and support you (or anyone one who matters will)

I have a relative who cancelled a wedding the day before AFTER the grooms family had all travelled from Australia to be there.
You know what everyone said? Thank GOD she had the guts to do it BEFORE they were married and didn't go through with it. And that included a lot of the grooms side too. Bravest thing I ever heard of.
So, get your best woman/bridesmaid, sister, mum ON it. They'll help. If my sister had told me she wanted to cancel her wedding I wouldn't have questioned a damn thing, I would have taken over and made it happen. Good luck OP.

Well done for making a brave decision! Good luck for a much brighter future x

I just wanted to say that if I was a guest who had arranged to travel to your wedding, and I found out you'd cancelled because he was an abusive dick, I'd be giving you a high five and a huge hug.

I am sure things are really tough right now but all the best for the future.

My friend married abroad and for the year anniversary held a swanky second "wedding" party over here in a posh hotel. Unfortunately the groom called it off two days before the event, after all the abroad people had flown over. So we had the damn party anyway (minus half the guests, and minus the wedding dress she'd intended to wear). It was emotional but my friend had all her family and friends around her and we had a good do. At the end the caterers boxed up what was left of the very naice buffet food and champagne and sent us home with it. Bonus!

Things are tough now but will soon be so much simpler and easier without him sucking the life out of you.
You deserve so much better.

Well done good luck xx

Well done, this is absolutely the right decision.

My sister was so nervous the day of her wedding she was delaying getting ready. I ask her if everything was alright, was she okay. She was, just crapping herself at being centre of attention. But you know what, if she'd had said no, actually, I don't want to do this, I'd have told the groom aka my now lovely BIL then marched right into the church and announced to 300 people that it was off without a 2nd thought. You'll get plenty of support for being so brave.

Well done for making the decision, far better now than afterwards.

If it's already paid for, you should go ahead and have a party with just your side of the family/ friends. Confide in a few as to what an abusive prick he was and then celebrate your lucky escape with some food, drink and a dance.

You are incredible OP. Well done for choosing a better life for you and your dc. It was the hard decision to make this week, but in a month 9maybe even less) the relief you feel will be overwhelming.

Wow, what a brave lady you are. I agree with others, find an ally; mum, sister, mate and sit down with them and cancel everything between you, then you can think about dismantling the relationship and any issues that raises such as child contact, joint accounts etc.

If your gut feeling was telling you to cancel, you’ve done the right thing. He sounds awful and I can’t imagine any good coming out of you marrying him. Stay strong in the coming days and weeks and know it is better to have cancelled the wedding than to have to divorce in a couple of months because you’ve realised marriage hasn’t actually changed anything in your relationship. Hope your family friends are there for you.

OP well done you I hope you and DC are ok

Wish I had been as brave op!!

My stepdad really, really wanted to cancel his wedding but felt he couldn’t because of letting everyone down. He went through with it and as they had kids straight away he spent the next 20 years of his life very unhappily married. A waste of a considerable chunk of his life (and hers).

You’re definitely doing the right thing!

Well done!

You won't think like this at the moment but so many people will be in awe of you....family, guests, friends, strangers.
I mean I'm well impressed by your guts! Takes a strong woman.

I called my wedding off, 3 months beforehand. Was for the best

Well done op, you’re making the right decision and giving your kids the best future x

Been engaged and looked at wedding venues stage. We had the engagement party.

I am so glad I left. I would have been so unhappy. It takes courage OP, but you are so right to do this now.