I’ve got to cancel my wedding this weekend, I can’t marry him

[Wheresmeredithgrey]

I’ve just told my partner I can’t marry him this weekend. I can’t spend my life with him. For years I’ve been making excuse after excuse for him, building him up whilst I was fucking drowning and then today I just cracked. I nearly passed out in the city centre because I’m so drained, physically, emotionally. I hold up the whole family singlehandedly and I am made to feel constantly guilty.

We have both families coming, cousins, uncles, bridesmaids, groomsmen, work colleagues, friends, hotels, outfits, food, DJ’s, children, fucking flowers, elderly grandparents, all about to set soon to travel for our wedding that I can’t allow to happen.

What the fuck am I going to do.

What did you do in the end on the day?

Mostly cried. And ate. Then I got an upset tummy, and have been throwing up from Saturday night til today, hoping it shifts soon. Maybe it’s nerves, I don’t know.

Family came up and took the boys for a day and a night, it was meant to be longer but actually I found it harder without them.

Our venue gave us back some money, which was really lovely, the boys and I are off to Cornwall in July!

You've been very brave and saved yourself and your boys from years of unhappiness. Well done 💐

That'll be the adrenaline / cortisol (stress hormone) making you physically vomit.
Rest and hydrate. Lemonade. Take care.

Well, I think you're doing brilliantly (even with the vomiting). A July break will be just the thing.

Not surprised at your visceral reaction!
But very pleased the day is gone now, and that the venue even refunded some of the money.
Hope you have a lovely break with your boys and feel that you have lost a millstone!

You've done brilliantly sticking to your guns and doing the best for yourself and your kids . Good Luck for the future x

WELL done you are strong and things will get better

Well done, this is the start of your new life now. You’ve made a really tough call. I’m not surprised you’re throwing up, you’ve been holding so much in for a long time.

I suffer from anxiety and I can't eat and feel sick and loose bowels tmi when I have an episode.

PP is right - it's the adrenaline/cortisol

Your mind is still primal - and this is from the days when we needed to be the fastest runner we could, to get away from a bear/lion.

Your blood goes to your limbs, your brain tells your body to get rid of anything it doesn't need to make you run faster - so anything in your stomach/bowels.

The shanking is the adrenaline.

You are in full on flight or fight mode - and the physical reactions are being driven from your brain.

Most importantly - eat what you can even if it's a pot noodle for breakfast oh no not me

Hydrate not with wine

Cake

If you can get soup down you, great

You're so brave OP. I am in awe of you.

*shaking

Well done OP. The physical reaction sounds like it's nerves, totally understandable with everything you have been through.

Keep looking after yourself physically and mentally. Try to eat healthily so you can keep down some nutrients. Plus lots of fresh air etc