I’ve got to cancel my wedding this weekend, I can’t marry him

[Wheresmeredithgrey]

I’ve just told my partner I can’t marry him this weekend. I can’t spend my life with him. For years I’ve been making excuse after excuse for him, building him up whilst I was fucking drowning and then today I just cracked. I nearly passed out in the city centre because I’m so drained, physically, emotionally. I hold up the whole family singlehandedly and I am made to feel constantly guilty.

We have both families coming, cousins, uncles, bridesmaids, groomsmen, work colleagues, friends, hotels, outfits, food, DJ’s, children, fucking flowers, elderly grandparents, all about to set soon to travel for our wedding that I can’t allow to happen.

What the fuck am I going to do.

Stay strong and Focused OP

Good for you. It wasn't right, you had the courage to make the right choice.

You know what, don't even worry too much about the cancelling and notifying if you can't bear it. Suppliers will likely need to be paid anyway, even if some guests turn up at the ceremony, they will figure it out (perhaps ask one close friend to be at the venue to inform any strays). Obviously it's better to notify than not, but don't let it become another source of stress for you. Only do what you can easily manage. Everyone will survive just fine even if they arrive in their finery and people's primary concern will be that you are ok.

You should be really proud of yourself. Well done.

What a load off your shoulders! Good for you!

Brilliant decision

Focus on you, you’re doing the right thing

Definitely done the right thing,

I feel so guilty about the money spent by others and destroyed a weekend for so many.

Honestly this worry is trivial. People will get over a lost weekend very quickly. Please don't worry about that. No one wants to go to a wedding that's not supposed to happen.

Be brave, ride out the storm and the relief that you didn't go through with it will win out sooner than you think.

Well done 👍

Good for you!

I wish I'd had your courage - instead I struggled to make a doomed marriage work and went through an acrimonious and expensive divorce some years later.

Good luck OP.

I wish I hadn’t gone ahead with my wedding, would have saved me years of utter abject misery and a horrific life and a shedlod of money in divorce costs and the money he stole from me.

People won’t be angry, they’ll be glad you didn’t marry the wrong person.

I hope you have a wonderful life free of this evil man.

Ps never ‘get over’ when someone hits you. Run from them and call the police.

Stay strong OP. So brave of you to take this step. Lean on the good people around you and delegate what you can. We’re all behind you

Congratulations!! We all know you have absolutely done the right thing. Well done on being so strong.

Well done. You're braver than I was. You won't regret it. It sounds like you've been to hell and back.

Oh, well done, OP - after reading your last update there can be no doubt that this is the right decision. And you can be sure that at least some of your guests will greet the news with relief rather than disappointment. You are wonderful for having the courage to do this. This is the first day of the rest of your life.

Well done OP. Just try to break down the tasks into chunks you can do.

Better to do it now than when you are married. Wishing you well

Oh sweetheart, having read your updates, you've made the right decision

A friend knew she didn't want to get married as she walking down the aisle but went through with it. A few years later she divorced-in her eyes a waste if years. You won't be looking back thinking this. Glad u have supportive family and friends. Everyone else has to accept it-your life not theirs. Well done you've got guts. Be happy for a brighter future without him in it. He sounds a real piece of work. You're worth so much more. Believe in yourself.

good for you will be hard now but its your life you cant get married for everyone else

i know someone who didnt want to go through with it-didnt wana upset anyone so married the guy lasted 3 months

A wedding isn't important, the marriage is and it sounds like an unhappy marriage, if you follow through with it.

Best to cancel now than divorce later.

I think you're really brave. Good luck, op. May your future, once all this has past, and it will, be bright and happy 💐

gabsalotwe obs think the same way!

You say you’ve tried to end it in the past and he wouldn’t go. I hope this very public declaration gives him no hiding place and he leaves you and stays gone.

Every cloud and all that.

I really feel for you, I hope people rally round for you.

Thank you so much everyone, my eyes are very heavy and I’m just waiting for the washing to be finished and then I’m off to bed thankfully there is also gin here

I’ve paid everything already - not worried about the money lost really. I plan to still take the DC to the hotel for the weekend, and hope that we can find some nice things to do, I think a few people from my family will still come up and they can help get me through this first bit.

My parents had a horrific divorce, and I spent many years being used as a pawn, so will try my hardest to protect the DC as much as I can.

You really are a lovely lot.

His family are an insufferable bunch of dicks too, I know my mum will handle his side of things.

He won’t tell them what’s happened, he’s a fucking coward...he’ll slink off and mope about all the awful things I’ve done to him and then sadly, as a very attractive and charming man will move on to someone else who falls for the BS.

You've done the right thing. If you were my friend or relative I'd rather waste the money of a hotel than you waste years of your life. Or better yet I'd offer to come up anyway and help you get drunk x

Well done for calling it off, you’ve been incredibly brave. I wish I’d had the balls to do it first time, but I didn’t, and I should have.

Everything will be ok, and I hope you and DC have a lovely weekend at the hotel. Stay safe x