Dating Thread 134 - 50 Swipes of Tinder

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Thank you Choc and Margo for the welcome
Yes, it's time for me to create some new stories of woe in my life, so far I have a hidden profile on pof and had a look around... oh, and I've watched lots of Matthew hussey videos- that counts right?!
Like I said, I do admire how brave you all are!
Jax good luck with that morning date

I'm 30 and newly single and the thought of OLD terrifies me. Is it all doom and gloom?

I'm not ready for it for a good while yet but I like reading everyone's stories.

It's definitely not doom and gloom. A bit annoying at times but you are confronted on a daily basis with the delights of the male psyche and ego.

What isn't to love? ;)

What's pof? I'm on OKCupid which seems to be full of poly types as someone else mentioned - not my thing, atm anyway. I've looked at tinder but am seriously unable to judge potential interest on the basis of a pic alone... What other sites (free/ cheap if poss as I'm only tentatively dipping my toe in at this stage) do people recommend?

I have my first ever OLD date on sunday and am crapping myself about it.

Oh I see. POF. Not short for anything. Found it. Duh.

thanks all, I will be safe, my sister knows he is coming over and I have things in place if needed. (Sounds sinister, it isnt)

POF is plenty of fish edd Ive met some nice people on there, some not for me, some for me. You have to weed out the players, marrieds and chasers before you meet the decent guys/girls.

Just checking in to the new thread.

Re. the age thing, I'm 37 and don't date younger men. It's just not my thing; not that I'm down on myself at all but I don't get why a 33 year old bloke would date a 37 year old woman when he can probably easily date a 27 year old.

It's probably linked to the fact that I don't have kids and prefer to date men who don't either so if they want them at some point their chances are obviously a lot better with a younger woman. I think I would like to try for one in the right situation but I know I've probably left it too late now and most men who want that will go for someone younger than me.

Tinder has finally woken up and I've got 3 matches.
T1- exchanged a few good messages last night. He asked a couple of questions about my work and also what I was looking for on Tinder. I answered all questions and haven't heard from him since. I was expecting to be unmatched but he's still there so I'm hoping he'll come back.

T2 - said "how's you" at about 6am. I've replied.

T3 - says I'm beautiful and have a cute smile. Lovely but I never know how to respond to such messages.

37 is still young vet and despite the myth not every man wants a younger woman.
All the men I've dated have been younger than me.
Still plenty of time to meet someone to have a child with.

Mr Doctor and I are still messaging every day. He seems really keen on me. He’s away at the moment (I didn’t snoop on Bumble - I believe him ) but I guess we’ll meet up again when he’s back.

Starting to feel nervous about it. I can’t imagine being with somebody again when I’m still looking over my shoulder for my abusive stalker ex. Then I think things like, sod this, I’m going to be single forever.

Yay, found you all😊

Grey keep your chin up! I'm finding its like buses....none for a bit then a few good looking ones

Lechat 😁😁😃😊
Ahh sounds good. Breathe slow when you get the pangs of nervousness....that's your subconscious trying to protect you

Yes, I think it is. He hasn’t said a single thing that’s red flag worthy, and we’ve been chatting a lot. And i have the benefit of hindsight this time around.

Being single has massive benefits. For women.

Relationships benefit men, in the main.

I'm not in a rush to give it up. It's got to be someone worth it and very amazing. The sacrifice and compromise that being in a relationship means.

I don't envy quite a few of my coupled up friends.

Thanks user, I'm not despondent about it by any means, and I know I'm a catch, but I know that realistically a 30ish year old woman is a better bet for having a family than someone my age. I have a male friend who is 44 (almost 45) and also doing OLD. His age range on the sites is 28-36 because he still wants to have kids, and in reality I've only known him to actually go on dates with women under 35. I don't fancy him at all, that's not my point, it's just a bit depressing that he wouldn't see someone my age as being a good relationship bet when he's nearly 8 years older! I do think it's a lot easier for men in many ways.

Vet I agree I think men have more flexibility on the whole.

I have met a few mid40s that would love children and dating women in 30s and 40s, but generally rejected by 30s (often for baldness/greying), so there are some out there. Doesn't suit me as I'm a young looking early 40s, but my youngest is 8 and I'm not interested in more.

I have a date tonight that I may cancel as he seems flaky.

Plans for tomorrow I may cancel as he has DC all the time (teenager, but still constant responsibility).

POF seems dead.

choc I was getting bored of POF. I took a break from it all for a few weeks. I rejoined POF and lasted a whole 24 hours. It was awful.

runs when someone compliments me I just say thank you.

vet I would go one or two years younger than me, but no more. I find it immensely amusing when men have young year ranges on their profiles. I just don't get it! Although if they are in their 30s and do want children then it makes sense. I have a friend who met her husband late in life and didn't have her first child till she was about 42. He's about a year older than her.

I've been on OKC for a week. I have a coffee date lined up with Mr American next week. He is lovely. He can string a sentence together, is being very understanding when I said I don't want to rush into anything, checks in for a quick chat every day, doesn't put kisses on his messages and appears to be quite genuine (not holding my breath on that one!)
There's also Mr Bono, but he's in an open relationship, which is really not my thing. Very friendly, messages often, potential as a friend, but nothing more from me, due to his circumstances.
Mr Academic finally messaged on Tuesday a week after his last message, asking how my city break was. Sent me some recommendations and promptly disappeared. I actually don't care any more. He is definitely breadcrumbing me. Luckily I have new distractions!

This morning - 3 Tinder matches
This afternoon - 0 Tinder matches
All unmatched me. My man repellent continues to work well

Runs oh dear.....have you tried just swiping everyone right?

evening all . today was lovely. We will call him MrJ He has just gone.

Im safe, it was good and I want to see him again. Off to get ready to go meet some friends and I am running late now.

Not a word from MrSnog from last week so he can carry on being quiet unless he has a good reason, which he might actually as his phone was playing up - its a crappy old phone as he works on building sites and it gets covered in allsorts and it has crashed a few times and reset at mine, but he also knows where I live so could have popped in on his way past but hasnt.

Ive decided on holiday that I would like a relationship, not a FB with benefits now and again.

sorry, that should read I had decided while on holiday...

TomHardy I did! Well almost - I swiped left on the ones without a proper profile picture. Otherwise I thought I'd just swipe right and see what happens.
5 days of swiping gave me 4 matches. I unmatched one. The rest unmatched me. I'd even exchanged a few messages with them all, so I've no idea what went wrong.

Can I jump on this thread? I've got back into OLD again.
Been single just over a year now. Back on tinder again. Had some matches. 1 seems nice and we both have a child.around the same age.
The other doesn't have a child and had given me his mobile number. He seems keen but I feel a bit put off by the keeness!

update. went on the date today and it went much better than the phone call. He's not for me but I know he's keen for a second date. I'm not sure how to tell him.
Just shows how you sometimes have to give them a chance, I wasn't going to go but he's really sweet.