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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband taking an Uber at strange time

203 replies

YoMommasMomma · 30/05/2018 13:54

I was away from home this weekend with my DD and when we returned I saw an emailed receipt from Uber (my husband uses my laptop to check his email and leaves himself logged on, we are very open with passwords and use each other computer/phone) which showed that he got a taxi from our house to another address about 15 mins away at 12:10am in the morning.

I am concerned as this seems very odd. The questions in my mind are - he has a car so why didn't he drive if he was going to meet a friend? He said he didn't go out that night (sometimes he goes to meet friends for a few drinks when we are away) so why is he lying? Did he have someone over to our house and pay for their cab home? This would be odd if it was a friend as they all drive and why would he pay for their taxi? I am worrying that he had another women over and paid for her cab home.

There was also a half drunk glass of baileys in the kitchen when I returned and it was in a wine glass. He does drink baileys but would usually drink it from a normal glass.

It is all very strange and I know I have to ask him and I am sure there is a reasonable explanation but worried there isn't one.

I also feel so pathetic for even typing this right now. I guess I really just wanted peoples opinions to see if you also think this is suspicious and if you has any ideas for what to do, other than just ask him about it. Thank you.

OP posts:
HarryElephante · 31/05/2018 11:49

Good post. Frenzy is a good way of describing the way these discussions often pan out.

Definitely this. Although, half the time it doesn't matter as there is so much obvious BS on this forum.

diamondsandrose · 31/05/2018 11:50

Do people honestly think a person who's cheating, asked once, with no solid proof, is going to instantly confess everything when they don't have to?

Honest to God. Dream on , if only it was that easy

Loopytiles · 31/05/2018 11:52

It was a plausible explanation, and may be true.

If it’s not true, though, he has been tipped off.

woder · 31/05/2018 12:06

Does you DH drink wine with his friends? perhaps he just poured some Baileys into his empty glass afterwards. If they're lager guys then the whole thing is bollocks. Any empties in the bin?

Your instincts instantly told you something was out of character, would your DH normally tell you if a friend had been round? mine would.

Loopytiles · 31/05/2018 12:08

My DH does that, if for example he was on wine and the friend on cans of beer and it was late evening he would use the wineglass for baileys (obviously after wine, takeaway and crisps, more alcohol and calories is a great plan for someone wishing to lose weight Hmm)

Loopytiles · 31/05/2018 12:09

Not that I can talk with my Pringles consumption.

TheDrinksAreOnMe · 31/05/2018 15:38

Sorry love, but it sounds plausable he sent someone home in a cab

FairyFace · 31/05/2018 16:00

This reminds me painfully of how I found out my dh had cheated. I went to delete history on google as I had booked a surprise bday break and didn't want him to know as its his google account that's linked and somehow I saw that he had set his alarm at 4.30am that night, considering he was working away I thought it strange he would be up that late, so go onto google maps and low and behold he had visited another hotel than his own for an hour . What a fucking punch to the gut, I'll never forget that day, waiting for him to come home and confront him. Horrible. OP it sounds v suspicious , and when they think your so believing and trusting they don't seem to be overly cautious, I really hope its not for your sake. x

Quickerthanavicar · 31/05/2018 20:52

Ask the friend and alleged girlfriend out for drinks or over for dinner.
See what happens.
But honestly if there's no trust what's the point, LTB.

BettyBaggins · 31/05/2018 21:13

If a bloke is asked a question whilst watching football/after 10 other questions/ if he is concentrating on one thing, he will reply with a one word answer. Did you got out at the weekend? No.

Uber. I dont think its that suspicious. He offered friend baileys in a wine glass. No biggy. Its all he had to offer booze wise. The reason there was some left was because the friend didnt like it. A woman would of necked it! (Well I would!)

I think if it was another woman she would of stayed later. Midnight is a time a friend would leave to go and get his 'booty call'.

I know a 6ft bear of a man, huge, beard you could plait, works in demolition, he drinks baileys out of a wine glass, he prefers straight from bottle but has a thing about manners before midnight.

Why do you feel suspicious? Because of something he does, true instinct or reading too many threads like this on mumsnet?

Invite the friend and g/f over for a meal. And make some time to spend with your dp, you two need to talk about your rough patch.

Constance88 · 31/05/2018 22:37

The more I think about this the more I think it’s an innocent explanation. Bettybaggins was right about sometimes men giving you you a short answer cus they can’t be bothered to explain about such a none event as a mate popping over after the pub. I don’t think it’s fair to say that because of a weird little thing that there is no trust in the relationship (unless there isn’t) I would be intrigued, anyone would wouldn’t they?

OnThisHill · 31/05/2018 22:39

@Quickerthanavicar
What does LTB mean?

K80E · 31/05/2018 22:42

Leave the bastard

BettyBaggins · 31/05/2018 22:43

@onthishill LTB means leave the bastard Grin

sugarnotsweetener · 31/05/2018 22:47

As you know the friend is it weird that he didn’t appear to have a drink? Since Only your husbands wine glass was used

OnThisHill · 31/05/2018 22:47

@Fairyface

Sorry that happened to you. It's awful, the punch in the gut.

Hope all worked out well in the end.

I bet there are hundreds of stories on here of 'How I found out' - devastating at the time - and eventually you STILL can'tlaugh about it.

OnThisHill · 31/05/2018 22:50

@K8 & @Betty - thank you & Shock

wombat1a · 01/06/2018 04:17

hellsbellsmelons

Yes for sure, if I said I had a friend round for drinks then the next qs would be who, how do you know them, were they with anyone else, what time did they arrive, when did they leave, what did you do....

Far far easier to say nothing.

Aus84 · 01/06/2018 06:08

This would suck OP. I don't want to add to your stress but I would suss on your DH. I likely scenario would be that he was out, met someone, drove them back to your house for a drink, didn't finish the drink because they got 'distracted' and sent her home in an uber afterwards.

If he had a friend over surely they would have had other drinks. Snacks? How did his friend get there? If he drove, he wouldn't need an Uber later. If he got an Uber there, why couldn't he pay for his own Uber to his girlfriends house?

GertieMotherwell · 01/06/2018 06:25

Do you have access to his phone Momma?

YoMommasMomma · 01/06/2018 09:45

No I I don't have access to his phone so struggling to figure out next steps

OP posts:
HarmlessChap · 01/06/2018 10:12

He's given a plausible(ish) explanation, cheaters tend to be a little more secretive IMO. Do you have any other reason to suspect he's up to something?

You need to decide whether you're ready to give up your relationship on the basis of how this seems, ongoing suspicion will slowly destroy your relationship over time.

Guardsman18 · 01/06/2018 10:46

Just a thought OP - are you anti weed? The lack of glasses could be that they had a smoke and he'd rather not mention it than have a row about it?

Sorry if that sounds feeble but it could happen couldn't it?

Sametimesameplace · 01/06/2018 10:56

I thought weed if it was a male friend.

Billybigballs123 · 01/06/2018 14:07

Sadly aside from going to the address yourself and confronting his tart/one night stands/ow, there is nothing else you can do.

It reeks to high heavens of a pick up in a bar or an affair. Sorry op 💐

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