Husband taking an Uber at strange time

[YoMommasMomma]

I was away from home this weekend with my DD and when we returned I saw an emailed receipt from Uber (my husband uses my laptop to check his email and leaves himself logged on, we are very open with passwords and use each other computer/phone) which showed that he got a taxi from our house to another address about 15 mins away at 12:10am in the morning.

I am concerned as this seems very odd. The questions in my mind are - he has a car so why didn't he drive if he was going to meet a friend? He said he didn't go out that night (sometimes he goes to meet friends for a few drinks when we are away) so why is he lying? Did he have someone over to our house and pay for their cab home? This would be odd if it was a friend as they all drive and why would he pay for their taxi? I am worrying that he had another women over and paid for her cab home.

There was also a half drunk glass of baileys in the kitchen when I returned and it was in a wine glass. He does drink baileys but would usually drink it from a normal glass.

It is all very strange and I know I have to ask him and I am sure there is a reasonable explanation but worried there isn't one.

I also feel so pathetic for even typing this right now. I guess I really just wanted peoples opinions to see if you also think this is suspicious and if you has any ideas for what to do, other than just ask him about it. Thank you.

I’d find out who the girlfriend is first. I’d get as much info as I could.

How well do you know the friend, and do you know his girlfriend?

Getting the Uber on someones behalf as they dont have the app is an obvious explanation. What isnt though, is that when you asked him what he did that night he said, nothing.

Sorry OP, something doesnt fit and I hope you are ok.

I agree it's not the perfect answer and still makes me confused.

I asked him if he went out that night and he said no, he didn't mention anything about his friend coming over at the stage until I asked him about the Uber receipt last night.

Why not offer to host the friend +gf one night? His reaction may tell you if he was telling the truth.

I don't know what to make of this, but to add I'm another person who doesn't have Uber but have been in them which friends have booked.

Do you know the friend who came over?

Sorry op but he has not said a word until you confronted him - he seriously expects you to believe that he had a baileys in a WINE glass when with a male friend? Bollocks.

He then tells you he paid for an Uber to his alleged friends gf house - to cover his tracks if you discovered it’s a woman’s address.

Which friend is it op? Has he mentioned this one before? Or is it a new one?

It doesn’t stack up and you know it. He will have warned her by now so no point going there.

I’d simply say you don’t believe him, because it’s bullshit

I know the friend but not his girlfriend.

Just to go against the grain, the first thing I thought when I read your op was, friend came by and he paid for a cab home. I do this all the time I have a Uber account so,e friends don't and they give me cash or I want to make sure they get home safe if it's late. He didn't go out.
I dont know if your dh is innocent but the fact that you didn't just think what I did speaks volumes.

@YoMommasMomma

Do you know the friend that he bought the cab for?

How did that initial conversation go?

"What did you get up to this weekend?"
"Ah not much; I just stayed in" - lying by omission.

"Did you go out this weekend?"
"No" - not such a lie; although strange - and that seems an odd, very direct question; unless there's history with regards to him going out.

Did you know of the girlfriend before this? Does she seem to check out - pictures of her and his friend online, etc?

There's clearly something that is making you wary here.

But Lady if you partner asked you if you went out Saturday night, wouldnt you reply in a manner like, 'no I stayed in, but X popped around for a while'. You wouldnt just reply no would you? Unless there is a reason why he does want OP to know that friend was there.

A few questions for yourself....

• Is it normal for him to have people over when you aren’t there?
• has he had mates come over and leave at odd times of night when you have been there?

-Is it normal for him to have someone over or go out and then say he’s done nothing? - has this sort of thing happened before?

Finally, this friend....is he on Facebook? Take a look. If he has a gf then she should be on there shouldn’t she? If she is on there take a good look at her....then go to the address for Uber.

My guess is it isn’t the same person. Sorry.

I can’t past the Baileys from a wine glass when with a male friend. It’s just not something a bloke would do, especially given that he doesn’t even have it in a wine glass when he’s with you!

I also don’t get why he would pay for a mates Uber, to his gf house...his gf could have done this for him or he would have said something like i lent him the money for an Uber. To say he just paid for it is odd. Blokes don’t tend to do this for each other - and why would he need to? Had his friend not got a smart phone or cash or a bank card to pay with?

• what did they do that night? Takeaway etc?...he has said zilch and tried to pretend he did ‘nothing’ until you found out he definitely did do something with someone that night and asked him about it.

Sorry. My guess is he was out with someone/had someone back after a night out, had a ‘night cap’ and paid for their taxi home after they had ‘finished’

What do you honestly believe op? What would you say to a friend who told you this?

How do you get on with the friend OP?

If you dislike him or some such, it could be that he didnt want to tell you HE was there?? Is he the guy that sells the weed?

Normally I err on the suspicious side but in the circumstances you have described op I can 100% see how you DH could have been innocently going about his business.
My DH bloody loves Baileys and would not care one jot what he drank it out of, plus he would happily just pour it into the wine glass he had just been using thinking it would save on the washing up. Neither of us have an Uber account so it would make sense that we would need someone else to order one for us if that was the easiest way to get home, I'd just settle up with them next time.
Having said all that and not withstanding the 'rough patch' I'm working on the theory that this is isolated and you have no other reason to be concerned.

Hmmm. People having bits on the side sometimes want to get caught. Hence him leaving the 'evidence' to be found. On other hand could be totally innocent.

Bailey's in a wine glass is a female drink. Agree with others who say he paid for uber after a night out/night cap as this seems most likely.

Unless the supposed friend had his girlfriend with him when he came round I don't believe what the husband has said. If the girlfriend was indeed there, makes paying for their joint uber home even less likely.

Smells off. Usually is, sadly.

Two choices. Either ask for some more answers or do some more digging. I might say I was going away in a couple of weekends time and then come home early as someone else has suggested.

Trust your gut though. I suspect you already know the answer.

All sounds reasonable to me, if my DH asked me if I did anything I certainly won't think having someone over for a drink would be something worth reporting. WRT to paying for their uber, yes I can understand that - I don't have the app either so would need to pay cash to someone for it. Lastly if my DH was 1/2 as suspicious as you appear to be I certainly would never ever volunteer any info about going out or someone coming over as it is far less hassle to not say anything than to be subjected to the 3rd degree. If questioned I would then totally minimize it too. So your H's reaction sounds 100% how I would react too.

Really wombat?
If someone I lived with asked me what I did of an evening, when I they were away, then I'd tell him.
I had 'friend' round for a few drinks.
Job done.
What's so hard about that?
Why would you NOT tell them?
Seems very odd.

OP - keep digging - this is does not sound right.

Now you've reported what he said, I agree, something very fishy about this.
I wouldn't have just left it at that. I would have follow up q's so he couldn't just fob you off with an incomplete answer.
Hard to tell as we don't know either of you and we are getting little pieces of info.
I'd be on the phone, talking to my bezzie mate. Do you have someone you can actually talk to?
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Believe me, trust your gut. We women do have witchy power, and yours is definitely telling you something. I've been betrayed, twice and I think I know how you feel.
Get as much as you can off his laptop. Also, his phone when he's showering, sleeping whatever. Trust me, they don't delete stuff ... God knows why and I'm not psycho analysing him. It's you we are here for.
I really and truly hope this is innocent, but get your friend on board and get digging.
There will be SOMETHING there if he's up to something, only you know what this rough patch means and what your sense is telling you.
Good luck, hope we're wrong.

Be careful OP. Mumsnet often gets worked up into a frenzy over things like this. For other posters it's something vaguely interesting to pass the time, it's your life. You know your DH and if you believe him on this then just trust him.

I agree it sounds dodgy, but surely if he were up to no good he'd have done a better job of concealing it?

I don't see it as vaguely interesting to pass the time. OP asked, she's worried and we are answering. That's what I'm doing anyway. As if we were down the pub.
OP, I hope I haven't come off like that. Not my intention at all. Trying to help.
I will get off this thread if you want, say the word. x

isthismylifenow honestly it depends if I was running around after my children when asked I probably wouldn't bother, if we were having a full proper conversation then yes I would have mentioned it. Friends pop round here all the time, it doesn't always get mentioned eg my partner told me yesterday someone had popped round at the weekend to pick up something, I hadn't a clue.
Given the response the op got from her dh I agree it's maybe dodgy but honestly I wouldn't think so particularly from the initial op.

Did you ask why he paid for the taxi? Is this friend broke?

ILikeMyChickenFried
Be careful OP. Mumsnet often gets worked up into a frenzy over things like this. For other posters it's something vaguely interesting to pass the time, it's your life. You know your DH and if you believe him on this then just trust him.

Good post. Frenzy is a good way of describing the way these discussions often pan out.

Or maybe we've been there and see the signs and want to help?

You've blown your cover now sadly, if there's anything going on he knows now to cover it up better.