Aww, I’m glad Lynspop has posted because he’s unwittingly given you an excellent insight into both the male sense of entitlement (their needs trump your feelings) and the complete lack of self awareness in porn users (he seems to think that the techniques shown in porn will make him better at sex, doesn’t seem to understand that the women in porn are faking it and 90% of the activities at least have nothing to do with female enjoyment).
OP, I’ve been in a long term relationship with a porn addict. Perhaps there are people who can partake casually and without negative effects but if it’s already affecting your sex life then it’s already a problem.
Have a read of the Your Brain On Porn website. MRIs show that the effects of porn are not dissimilar to some drugs and, as with those drugs, where a small amount is enough initially, they need more over time to get the same effects. Since so much porn is so extreme, frequent users can often not get as aroused by sex as they do by porn, plus they have an issue with needing novelty and variety to get the same “high”. Then there’s the desensitisation that can occur from frequent masturbation which means they can no longer ejaculate from sex (try being with someone who has never ever been able to ejaculate as a result of sex, especially if you’re trying for a baby).
Hopefully reading this information will help you to understand that this is nothing you’ve done and no reflection on your sexual skills or desirability, just as it wouldn’t be your fault if he were addicted to cocaine. This problem predates you. Many porn addicts were first exposed to porn at a very young age. It often skews their feelings on sex and relationships (struggling to equate love and sex for example, or having a drive that can’t be satiated at all) and once someone starts choosing porn over sex that’s a real problem.
It can be overcome, like any addiction, but it’s very difficult since it’s so accessible. There’s a Reddit group called No Fap. Just as an alcoholic shouldn’t ever have just one drink, porn addicts need to stop using porn. If possible refrain from masturbating too, to resolve any sensitisation issues. That group has a lot of information.
When I was with a porn addict, he was in his early 20s and saw nothing wrong with it. As he got older and understood about the industry he really struggled because he found it morally repugnant but was still addicted. It caused him a lot of problems but he wasn’t able to stop.
If I were you, I’d tell him he needs to address it (quitting usage, joining an online support group and / or going to counselling) or I would leave. It doesn’t have to be like this. Regardless of what people like the guy above reckon, there are men who have no interest in porn, or avoid it for ethical reasons, or who can take it or leave it. Ignore defensive men who are trying to excuse their behaviour.
(Again, to be clear, I’m not talking about someone who watches porn occasionally but porn addiction is real and increasing)