Dh sent me a photo by mistake.

[CoatsProtectionLeague]

It’s really rattled me.

He sent a bunch of photos that all made sense in relation to a big purchase we’re considering- this other photo was completely random.

I sent a text back saying- I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to send this photo to me.

When he came back from work he was very defensive and said there was nothing inappropriate/sexual about the photo and that I was being unreasonable.

I have a very strange gut instinct that I cannot shake off. We almost split up 5 years ago when he was trying to persue someone on social media/sexting. We got over that and decided our marriage was worth saving on the proviso he did it again he was out-instantly.

Something’s not right.

Where do I go from here experts?

If your gadgets are turned off they can't be located but as other pps have said, you can disable the apps

But best way to find out is to test it using the find my friend app on your phone, just in case.

Not sure about Mac (but I suspect it's the same), the iPad can not be located if properly powered down. Do this before you get to your unit obviously. You can always turn off the location services just to be double sure.

Morning coats,

You've maybe already covered your travel plans but you have a car? Can you plan ahead with that? Might kids need new car seats in the next year our two? Can you pay up for insurance / travel cards in advance. You can get cars valeted (cost £120-150) and brings the car up like new. Haven't had it done myself but hear it's worth it... with all your trips to the charity shop the car might deserve a wee spruce up.
... which leads me in to think are any big ticket house hold items likely to need replaced/ serviced soon? Boiler, fridge/freezer etc

Hope you have a good and productive day.

On the ipad you can go to settings,then privacy, then location and you can turn off the devices location from there. Do this before you move the devices to your new location.
In your settings you can also decide whether your app can use the location, go into the app name in the settings and adjust it there.
I assume the mac would have similar settings for disabling your location. HTH.

You've got this. You're being so strong well done. Cheering you from the sidelines

Thank you.
Anything new I haven’t considered is being added to the laundry list.

I will turn off the location settings and see on the laptop also.
Thanks

You’re doing so great Cats... you are a real life hero to so many women that were utterly fucked over and far too generous in their life changes.

If you go into Settings on the Ipads and Mac, go to Location Services and switch those off and also the Find My Ipad or Find My Friends apps, it won’t send a signal. It’s also impossible to send any data once powered down so have those powered down before you put them in the car.

Also, if you use Iphones at all make sure the ‘send my location’ button is switched off under his name in your Contacts.

Can you reserve and research the holiday on booking.com or pay a deposit now out of your own cash so all you have to do is pay the cash the day before you tell him? To save anything more than 15 mins work on that particular day. You really will need it after this - trust me on that.

Re the social media accounts, I actually think at some stage you should consider it but perhaps post break up. You’ll be developing a new life and meeting people so why not; you may want to understand it better if you have teens using it and lastly I monitor my exh posting of pics of DS.

It doesn't matter if he finds out where the unit is, it's not like he can break in, assuming it's like an Armadillo type place. But, no, he can't trace them.

Don't chase him on social media, it'll do your head in, you don't need proof, you don't need any reason to end a relationship.

Vangogh

I think it does matter no he cannot break in but he’s likely to claim I’ve stolen stuff from the family pot and maybe lawyers could get involved
I don’t want him having wind of anything I will have there

Good morning! I woke up wondering how you were this morning coats. Well done. Harness that anger and use it to propel you along.

You are amazing. Utterly amazing.

Right then.
Time to up the ante. Please don’t judge me for this but I cut and dye my own hair - yes it’s a mess.

How much are super swanky cut and dye jobs £100/£150? Do you have them once a month? I’m going for the lot- nails next.
I’m now a member of the local health spa and paid up for the next 12 months and the joining fee all in cash.

Time to spend the next 2 months getting the pampering I never thought I wanted nor deserved.

Great idea, Coats be your own best friend and spoil yourself a bit.

Coats you might not believe it but you are pretty fucking amazing - when the chips are down you're focused, smart and calm.

Your kids are bloody lucky to have you

OH God, I feel like a real tool saying this but anyway - I'd be a bit careful about getting too glammed up from normal in case he gets suspicious that YOU are having an affair or something! Obviously you're not, but don't give him any chance at all to throw that sort of accusation at you.
So I'd say something along the lines of "I made a real mess of my hair last time so I'm going to get it done professionally for once to tidy it up" or something, just to allay any potential suspicion before it arises.
Thing is that people will judge by their own standards, and he's a cheating lying arse, so if you suddenly start changing your habits, IF he notices his automatic reaction will be to think you're up to something as well.
On the other hand, if you're not going to change anything too much, then he possibly won't notice at all so you can ignore me entirely. :)

I'm so happy you're focused on you Lady...

Just playing devils advocate:

Are any of the laptops or devices his? If so he could report them as stolen and if you've taken them you could be on Rocky ground.

What if he refuses to leave or gets a locksmith to regain entry to the property (he would be legally able to do this)?

Just want to ensure you've got the legal angle covered. The police and courts don't care about infidelity but they can take action on breaking the law. Just be a bit careful and don't expose yourself too much it may backfire when you get to court.

Think you are doing great btw

In the months before my mums split she had her teeth done, got new glasses and got loads of vouchers stashed away that she bought each week with the shopping.

Glasses! excellent point as well - big expense - get those sorted if needed.

Will you be keeping the dog OP? If so and it’s not already got insurance, take a full years policy out for that too! Make sure it’s in your name, ditto your records at the vet.

Perhaps you should plan a meal out with your (D)H when the time comes to reveal - somewhere new and neutral perhaps - it will in public. Maybe have some mutual trusted friends too.

They calmly and business-like lay down the divorce and how it's going to happen.

Thanks Thumbs
I have that covered there’s a massive occasion coming up in November-as far as he’s concerned I’ll start feeding it to him that it’s all for that November day-

Let’s not forget- a dog with two dicks really has only a focus on who he’s going to shag next- he’ll be far to focussed on that than me as history has painfully shown.

What an absolute shit of a man! You are doing really, it must be hard but definitely go and get you hair and nails.....he is so stupid he won't notice.

Yes to the dog- all covered and sorted.
Glasses not needed for me but one DS is an appointment soon and we’ll purchase new-perhaps 2 pairs.

✅