Dh sent me a photo by mistake.

[CoatsProtectionLeague]

It’s really rattled me.

He sent a bunch of photos that all made sense in relation to a big purchase we’re considering- this other photo was completely random.

I sent a text back saying- I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to send this photo to me.

When he came back from work he was very defensive and said there was nothing inappropriate/sexual about the photo and that I was being unreasonable.

I have a very strange gut instinct that I cannot shake off. We almost split up 5 years ago when he was trying to persue someone on social media/sexting. We got over that and decided our marriage was worth saving on the proviso he did it again he was out-instantly.

Something’s not right.

Where do I go from here experts?

And a new coat you've got to protect the coats

Wendy!
😱🤫

I use a travel card.. from the Post Office.. when I go away... I stock pile pretty pounds on there OP .. my little stash

@ proudthrilledHappy do they have an expiry do you know?

Sorry coats Ive just had a look and they charge a monthly fee against the balance so possibly not the best idea

Coats, you are AMAZING!

OP apologies if I missed this but do you have somewhere to say if you are "turfed out"?

*stay

I’m another one waving Pom poms and cheering you on. I wish you nothing but the luck you so, so deserve.

Chiara yes but not for a little while. I’ve seen a house (rental but it’s not available until November- it’s walkign distance to all my DCs school and would be brilliant as a temp residence if H gets shitty and refuses to move from the family home.

I think it is he who should have to sofa surf for the first phase. If he doesn’t leave I’ll take the kids to the premier Inn with his CC. I’m sure he’d like to spare them that but who knows.

OK then OP you need to gather all financial documents, work out outgoings/income and see a solicitor to game out your options re separation/divorce. You have a bit of time to do this so use it wisely to look at the big picture.

OP I also had a smallish investment coming my way I told my Sol Im waiting for it to go into my account then will whip it out...it was in my name. She said I would get in huge trouble as it was obvious whar I had done shw frightened me so I didnt

I will be entitled to 50% I won’t take it all
We can then work out financial arrangements.

I want to be able to have control of this and have the funds to pay a solicitor -

I'd start doing some sums, work out a budget, see if you are entitled to tax credits etc. Hit the ground running.

@coatsprotectionleague you can get some chilli juice and soak his undies gusset in it.

Make your own chilli juice but gets birds eye chillies from an Asian market they are like "aye carramba".

Get AA breakdown cover for yourself if you have a car.

In light of what Flowerpot says, can you get the investment return deposited in your own personal account?
Does H know the investment return is on the horizon?

Take at least 50% - you have earnt it and will still have the load of costs and the children as well - I would think that 65/35 would be fairer if he only got himself to look after.
Work on the iron fist within the mousy glove...

I am just in awe OP.

Suggestion re your ring - try a good auction house if you only get offered 'scrap' for it.

I sold a dress ring of my mum's that way and got a reasonable sum for it.

Just be careful OP. My Sol said EVERYTHING is 50/50 nowadays and it's Sol job to neigote she told me at the cheapest her fees and divorce cost would be around £4,000

Op just joining here to say I’ve spent most of today reading the thread on and off and you should be SO PROUD of yourself! What an awesome, evil, genius bunch you all are!!

In my scanninh and reading i may have missed this but obviously you have your own accounts etc somewhere that he doesn’t know about? The suggestion of a credit card was a brilliant one as is the one mentioning a break for you and the kids in the holidays.

I’ll be a single Mum coming up a year in June and was in the same situation as you (not regards the cheating and being an embarassing fuckwit) but I spent nearly 6 months getting everything in order. I opened a small savings account, closed and transferred everything from joint accounts and even made him do 10 different runs to the tip with shite when we weren’t getting on. I knew I’d be staying in my house with our DS so stockpiled for christmas, finished up existing work, etc... anything like that you could get ahead on? You’re head will be soup for a few weeks after that initial confrontation.

The cashback idea though. I’m all starry eyed at it!!!

Op, I'll send you a pm re your jewellery.

Hi Coat, you are doing so well!

I don’t want to worry you but have you thought about getting an STD check? I can’t remember whether it was mentioned up thread. I know you don’t suspect physical cheating but the £600 cash could hint at him using prostitutes. My ex would squirrel cash away from business expenses and then use it to pay prostitutes so it didn’t leave a trail on bank statements.

Hang in there, I know it’s hard but you will make it!

@CoatsProtectionLeague

Following this post and cheering you on! I think you're awesome. What a tool he is.

Stay strong