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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dh sent me a photo by mistake.

1000 replies

CoatsProtectionLeague · 24/05/2018 09:19

It’s really rattled me.

He sent a bunch of photos that all made sense in relation to a big purchase we’re considering- this other photo was completely random.

I sent a text back saying- I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to send this photo to me.

When he came back from work he was very defensive and said there was nothing inappropriate/sexual about the photo and that I was being unreasonable.

I have a very strange gut instinct that I cannot shake off. We almost split up 5 years ago when he was trying to persue someone on social media/sexting. We got over that and decided our marriage was worth saving on the proviso he did it again he was out-instantly.

Something’s not right.

Where do I go from here experts?

OP posts:
Original poster
CoatsProtectionLeague · 30/05/2018 17:00

Only just managing to get through the day- robotically. I love my unit. It’s in a very ropey town and I’m getting by imagining all the other punters stories. It’s slowly starting to feel like my leveller.

One day I will be free. I’m glad I have your collective wisdom- the £200 was going to mess with him. My first, well second, foolish move.

Thanks all.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 30/05/2018 17:03

Well done OP! Leave no trace... Grin Keep on keeping on for now, one day at a time. You will triumph in the end.

LeChatDeNuit · 30/05/2018 17:05

That’s fantastic, OP. Grin

springydaff · 30/05/2018 17:10

Bravo! Bravo! Flowers

Empathfreak · 30/05/2018 17:17

Op you are utterly Marvelous.

happypoobum · 30/05/2018 17:19

Waving pompoms from the sidelines!!

BettyBaggins · 30/05/2018 17:59

Go Coatsy go! Nice move re the cash. I hope you keep keeping us up to date before and once the investment comes in.

rapunzelnot · 30/05/2018 18:00

Who opens the post ?/ looks at it when it arrives?
Have you told the storage unit people not to send monthly bills?

Thebluedog · 30/05/2018 18:09

You are amazing OP Flowers

showmewhatyougot · 30/05/2018 18:18

Hehe good for you hun x

Original poster
CoatsProtectionLeague · 30/05/2018 18:24

Rapunzel I do everything re the books all admin is me. I’m the organised one that keeps bills paid- he is ghastly with money.

With regards to the unit . I’m paid up for the next 12 months and insured no trace- paid in cash- it’s was chosen on this basis.

He just thinks I’m stupid. I’m starting to believe I’m very smart.

I waiver. I’m not used to getting any praise or being told I’m good at anything except for by my lovely friends- that’s why I’m finding the kind unhinge written on this thread really hard to process.

OP posts:
Charm23 · 30/05/2018 18:25

I still don't really see what the issue is.

Charm23 · 30/05/2018 18:26

Ignore that last comment I hadn't read through the other comments! Grin

Lotsofplanetshaveanorth · 30/05/2018 18:27

Another one cheering you from the sidelines - you rock

AgathaF · 30/05/2018 18:29

You are one sassy lady. Glad you're holding it together, it can't be easy.

Original poster
CoatsProtectionLeague · 30/05/2018 18:34

AgathaFI’m not.
I’m the one who always picks up the bad/mashed up bit of cake and gives the nice bits to my kids, I’m the quiet lady who will talk to your tantruming 2 year old, I’m the lady who will hold open the door for someone to pass then be there for the 5 more to pass.

I’m the quiet mouse - you’d never even notice had been in the room.

But thank you- just the fact you think that is very uplifting.

OP posts:
sparklepops123 · 30/05/2018 18:35

Yes because you've been listening to that Dick head for too long. I think your doing fab, keep going 💐

Namethecat · 30/05/2018 18:43

*CoatsProtectionLeague*p

You rock

Cloudyapples · 30/05/2018 18:43

Op you are AMAZING. The way you’re handling all of this is incredible and I think you sound like one fantastic mum!

Lotsofplanetshaveanorth · 30/05/2018 18:43

I am not sure the two versions of you necessarily contradict - the talking to kids is quiet strength, you sound generous and warm .... but you can still be a badass when some bastard takes advantage of that warmth and joy.

Your moves are so impressive and you are setting the standard for yourself and others reading.

Namethecat · 30/05/2018 18:43

Oops that was supposed to be in bold type !

DerelictWreck · 30/05/2018 18:45

OP you sound amazing.

Do you have to wait for the investment to mature to leave? If you're in control of all the money, can't you kick him out now?

Lotsofplanetshaveanorth · 30/05/2018 18:47

Also the not noticing thing - there will be people who see you. It’s not the same but I was being bullied at work- when I finally left a few people came out of the woodwork and said they had been quietly keeping an eye on me and one woman had even been documenting it for hr - they didn’t say anything until they knew I was out because this woman was dangerous and unpredictable. Anyway - that’s a long way of saying there may be people who quietly have your back in RL as well as on here

Genderwitched · 30/05/2018 18:50

Op you sound wonderful, just my type of person. People like you are always the strongest.
Wishing you well my love Flowers

LuluBellaBlue · 30/05/2018 18:52

Just wanted to say you’re amazing! Star

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