Dh sent me a photo by mistake.

[CoatsProtectionLeague]

It’s really rattled me.

He sent a bunch of photos that all made sense in relation to a big purchase we’re considering- this other photo was completely random.

I sent a text back saying- I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to send this photo to me.

When he came back from work he was very defensive and said there was nothing inappropriate/sexual about the photo and that I was being unreasonable.

I have a very strange gut instinct that I cannot shake off. We almost split up 5 years ago when he was trying to persue someone on social media/sexting. We got over that and decided our marriage was worth saving on the proviso he did it again he was out-instantly.

Something’s not right.

Where do I go from here experts?

Another really tricky day.
Sorry to moan so much.
What was supposed to be a lovely Sunday roast with the kids/cousins and other family made by H saying he needed to sit in the car for a while because he didn’t feel well.Nothing to do with the fact there was no signal and rubbish WiFi inside the pub but a perfect signal in the car park.

Extended family were surprised to see him looking so well and glued to his phone when we’d all finished our puddings and returned to our cars.

Just. Wow.

He really thinks nothing can touch him!

Go careful with your planning lass.

How long have you got until the investment pays out? Try not to murder him before!

It’s amazing isn’t it... as soon as you find out, their behaviour seems so transparent, yet when we’re clueless we buy shit like ‘I need to go and sit in the car’ etc. When I look back at my exdp behaviour im amazed I didn’t twig sooner

Extended family have now seen this. Hopefully that means that you’ll get more support when the time comes.

Harness your anger, calm is your friend

TheBluedog yes you’ve hit the nail in the head- last week I would’ve worried as to why he was feeling ropey/and or thought him very rude to leave a lunch to sit in the car

Today I’m

6 weeks Betty.
I’m only planning and quietly sorting stuff out till then. No drama until I have a stopgap to get out.

I know I can do it but I’m waivering as to how I can do it without imploding

I suppose you repeat the mantra, & I can't remember it in English, but something like
"vengeance is a meal, eaten cold".
(in other words, keep cool & play the long game !)

Just keep strong, your doing so well. He's gonna be completely screwed up when he knows u know- focus on that he won't be able to grasp how cool & in-control you've been. 💐

Mix56 revenge is a dish best served cold - you nearly had it!

OP - vent on here, you can do this! you have MN behind you

Messaging other women can be addictive for some men - as evidenced by your DH. He needed his fix, so took risks to get it. Pathetic, really.

Moan away. You've got a right, with that CF of a "D"H of yours. Glad extended family saw. When the truth finally comes out the pennies will suddenly drop. Lots of Aaahhs.

He’s got some cheek!
As others have said, this will help you gain their support when you do kick him out. I bet they would have been talking about him afterwards and will have had their own suspicions, I know my family did but I didn’t find this out until afterwards. Think of the bigger picture! You can do this, 6 weeks is nothing.

You aren't moaning. I'm honestly in admiration over how you can keep a lid on it, I'd have gone ballistic by now. As some mumsnetters say, get all your ducks in a row then explode.

I didn't mean to say you were moaning, Coats. Hence the . But if it helps to unload, I and many others are here forz you.

Prawn that wasn’t aimed at you at all- I just feel like I’m moaning and offloading a lot

Offload away, if it keeps you sane! What a tool he is

The Katie Holmes Plan. Bide your time, keep your powder dry.

Sitting in the car-he is tipping his hand a bit. Can you keep a little journal (it will help you destress)? Hide it in a tampon box. You can write in scribbles crossing lines or in a grand spiral across both pages-open book-so it is illegible if he should find it. Or every third line about him and the rest on what is blooming in the garden.

It’s really shocking to me actually Katmarie-he’s making it so obvious I’m just nothing to him. So disrespectful.

I’m in two minds now as to whether he will care. In a few months time he’ll be able to have lots of women on the go but where will the thrill be then when he’s knee deep in dirty clothes and living with his mum/Make do flat till finances are sorted.

Utter idiot.

Why do people do this?

Isn't it insane (and a mark of the world of utter delusion guys like this operate in) that he was actually talking to you about having a vows renewal type thing!!! I mean, what IS it that goes on in their mind that they can be suggesting that, whilst spending time furiously messaging someone else and sending pictures of themselves in the bath!!!!

Who wants to look at his todger waggling about in the suds anyway, yeuch (no offence OP, obvs!!).

Who cares if he cares or not. YOU care about YOU, that's what matters.

Thank you doit

Good to not lose sight of that fact. Yes I need to care about me.

A photo of yourself in the bath - naked obvs - is a sext.

Thanks Diodati

In other news they actually slice bread for you now

That's so rude, that he said that to you . I would have lost it too.

He is a selfish little snotwad that needs his balls nailed to a wall.

You hang in there OP you are going to take that spineless little shit for everything he is worth and walk away with your dignity and strength and the knowledge that you got one over on him.

You can do it!