Dh sent me a photo by mistake.

[CoatsProtectionLeague]

It’s really rattled me.

He sent a bunch of photos that all made sense in relation to a big purchase we’re considering- this other photo was completely random.

I sent a text back saying- I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to send this photo to me.

When he came back from work he was very defensive and said there was nothing inappropriate/sexual about the photo and that I was being unreasonable.

I have a very strange gut instinct that I cannot shake off. We almost split up 5 years ago when he was trying to persue someone on social media/sexting. We got over that and decided our marriage was worth saving on the proviso he did it again he was out-instantly.

Something’s not right.

Where do I go from here experts?

Oh that’s so so sad!

OP you're only human.

Bluff it out if you can. He's no reason to think you're on to him. Tell him you've no idea what came over you, you've been stressed at work, it's the time of the month, anything.

What a hypocrite. I've been there. No wonder you reacted. no need to feel bad you have dine nothing wrong.
Glad you are leaving him.

Get a PI. A bath photo. Come on. FFS. Are you waiting for a d!$^ pic?

I wouldn't mention it again. Catch him out. Hold your cards close to your chest. If he is having a full blown affair you will want your finances in order before you rumble him. why not get a profile on tinder/in the area and search him.

Not sure how much you've said but can you just say you had a wobble because if the photo ? He will want to smooth things over ASAP so it will be easy for him to believe you if you see what I mean . That way you can get yourself sorted financially etc before splitting

I've just RTFT and I'm a Coats fan. You're a strong woman. Blame your reaction on the photo "it brought it all back, darling" or some such flannel.

Don’t worry about thinking you’ve blown it Coats, I doubt it will occur to him that you are actually taking action. You may need to be a little more careful with your fact finding but he’s done this before and thinks he ‘got away with it’ if you know what I mean, so he’s probably so arrogant he thinks the same thing will happen again. Try and play it cool if you can for now and then when you are ready you can give him the biggest metaphorical kick in the nuts ever.

Good luck, you are doing amazingly well.

OP are you ok?

Hope you're ok @CoatsProtectionLeague we're all here if you need us x

Yes. All ok. X
Tough day yesterday.

Morning @coats, hows things today?

Just RTFT. OP, well done. You are so strong. You can do this. Soon you will be able to live without second guessing what he is up to x

Yes Lolly. I think all of this bottling up is tough. Might try to book a therapist so I can offload. What the hell do you say?” Met and married and cheating twat and have nobody to moan about it “

Meh. Used a PP’s suggestion about being faux upset about the photo as the excuse.

It was bought. Back on plan.

Nice cover. Freedom awaits.

OP power on you sounds so strong,keep on the plan!!

Oh bugger. Was so hoping there'd be a good result.

Wally and Mix gave good advice.

Actually, there will be a good outcome - you'll get your life back lass.

Well done, Coats but I think you should avoid all social engagements together for a while!

Might need to move quicker on the plan as well, as he will know something is up, even if he doesn't believe you will actually do anything about it, and he might start hiding stuff or covering his tracks.

Stay strong lovely lady - you CAN do this.

I’m not going to tell him anything until that money hits my account. By then I will have had ample time to plan and have a least a fighting chance of not getting too badly fucked over.

The year of the fucking-over is no more.

Met and married and cheating twat and have nobody to moan about it

I think that's probably more common than we might hope.

Really glad you've conned him. Play him at his own game to suit yourself.

thank goodness.. you did good to stay on track OP.. and come on here and rant

Good luck

Well done Coats. Back on plan. Can't believe he doesn't suspect that you know anything. Taken for a fool no more. You've got this.

The reason he could talk about you having an anniversary do next year is because he has no intention of leaving you. This is his bit if fun on the side. His escape from reality.

He's compartmentalized it so well.

He doesn't want the other...he wants you and The other

So glad to hear you managed to smooth things over. A therapist sounds like a good idea. When my husband died I saw a wonderful woman partly for bereavement support but equally about becoming a single parent, which I hate. It's not daft to see a therapist when there are big changes in your life.

You will be fine. I can already tell that. You're strong and resolute. In tough times I rely on the saying: "time and the hour run through the roughest day."