Dh sent me a photo by mistake.

[CoatsProtectionLeague]

It’s really rattled me.

He sent a bunch of photos that all made sense in relation to a big purchase we’re considering- this other photo was completely random.

I sent a text back saying- I’m quite sure you didn’t mean to send this photo to me.

When he came back from work he was very defensive and said there was nothing inappropriate/sexual about the photo and that I was being unreasonable.

I have a very strange gut instinct that I cannot shake off. We almost split up 5 years ago when he was trying to persue someone on social media/sexting. We got over that and decided our marriage was worth saving on the proviso he did it again he was out-instantly.

Something’s not right.

Where do I go from here experts?

So sorry about his OP but as everyone says get your ducks in a row and blindside the twatwaffle.

You seem to have a good plan in place, fingers crossed it all goes well and you don't dollop him over he head with the iron.

Ah shit Coats

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Do you have any RL support?

Ohforfoxache
No. Nobody. Gut instinct tells me not to say anything to close family until I’ve given him his marching orders anyway.

It’s been great being able to discuss here or I may have turned into a quivering jelly earlier.

OP have you been sure to hide evidence that you logged into his stuff? Deleted recent history and logged back out etc? Really important he doesn't suspect that you know everything.

Sending hugs, what a bastard.

Yes crispy very.
And the laptop he doesn’t have the password to access it anyway. Cannot be too careful.

I'm in admiration op.

Not sure why Ginger.
I should’ve kicked him out last time- that’s five years I won’t be getting back.

Smarts.

@Coats you are so incredibly strong!

I welled up reading your thread, I'm not entirely sure why because I'm not really a crier but I think it's because you come across so kind and lovely that it feels really shit your going through this - before I'm flamed no one deserves this but you just seem even less deserving if that makes sense.

My ex husband (whom I'm now best friends with and love to pieces, all be it as a friend) cheated on me, sadly I always knew he would, I should of left after the texts but I wasn't strong enough, but it always hurt more when I thought 'I just don't deserve this' and I think that's why your thread has touched me.

I hope there's a way for you to gain something positive from this, mine was that I went on to have a DD whom wouldn't exist if this didn't happen ❤️

💐

So sorry your fears were confirmed Coats Hug from me. It must all feel incredibly daunting so take it one day at a time. You'll come out the other side stronger and happier. Stay strong

Coats no one will think you are a silly sap. They will feel gutted for you that your husband has let you down like this and/or terrified it could happen to them

This creep does not deserve you. What a stupid man.

Be prepared for a load of bollocks "it didn't mean anything/nothing actually happened/it's only because I've been feeling stressed" etc. He may try to minimise it but I think you know you don't want to put up with his crappy behaviour and you could never trust him again, no matter what he promises.

I got to where you are now, then got manipulated by his minimising and believed the promises because I wanted them to be true. All I did was waste another 6 months of my life and felt even worse than the first time round.

We don't think you're a silly sap. We do think he is a cunt though.

caked
I’m sincerely with you there.

You’re right, it is 5 years you’re not going to get back. But as someone else said, you know in your heart of hearts that you’ve given it your all.

And look at what you’re doing now: you’re not wasting another 5 years on this piece of scum. You should be bloody proud of yourself for being so strong and determined. As soppy as it sounds, and for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you x

O4 is right. Look at it differently.
I so wish MN was around when I split up with my XH.
You sound so strong. Yep its shit.
You have spent years of not quite being able to trust him.
I have been there.
Do you know - one day you will be so happy, you will actually not give a shiny shit about him at all.
I could never quite trust my XH, turned out I was right not to trust him.
Now I trust my DH 100%.
Just make sure you set the bar very high next time round

Sorry it turned out to be the worst case scenario, but maybe one day you will see this as the start of your better life.

Please take care of yourself. Even if you can't eat, have a cup of tea and sit for a few minutes. It sounds as if you are experiencing shock right now.

When the initial adrenaline wears off and you have rested and recouped, seek out solicitors. If you don't want to sound out divorced friends, head to your nearest family court and sit in the public benches, if you have time. If you see any solicitor you think effective, approach him or her when they leave the courtroom.

Thanks maths.
Haven’t really eaten much and finding it very hard not to punch his stupid smug face if I’m honest. Seeing him glued to his phone, tucked away in his office showing me random memes to cover his tracks is wearing very thin.

I’m going to look for a better solicitor. Mine cost a fortune and she was very nice but she only really told me the basics. Asking divorced friends is not an option as word will get back to him and he’s had many dealings with what would be considered the top solicitors locally which rules them out for me.

It’s starting to dawn on me this will be a very slow and daunting process.

It’s starting to dawn on me this will be a very slow and daunting process

Yes, but you can do it Coats, you have grit.

It maybe long and drawn out, but it will be worth it in the end 💐

BTW. Did you take screenshots of the 'proof'?

Yes I took photos of the proof which I emailed to myself on an account he doesn’t know about where all my legal stuff is. I’ve just been to buy a storage locker too. I have no friends and family that can keep stuff for me so figure this was the best option. I start packing away valuable stuff and sneaking it out of the house next week.

Can anyone tell me where I’d get a good price for a platinum pear shaped diamond engagement ring? I’m guessing selling privately? I don’t even want to look at it.

A jeweller that buys second hand jewellery ?

Do you know the carat and grade of the stone/stones?

I went to one jeweller and he said they’d buy it for scrap for give next to nothing for it. I have a certificate somewhere as the diamonds clarity I remember is good and it was hand made to order.

If you're in London try Hatton garden near Holborn / Farringdon