Should I let him back?

[SprayingMonsters]

Morning 👋🏼

DP and I have been on a break for near enough three months now, yesterday he sent me a text saying that he wants to come back home.

The reasons for the break were :

• He doesn’t help out with the children (I have three children under the age of 10)
• Not interested in doing things as a family
• He is unsupportive
• I don’t agree with that he does

Shall I let him back? I have been doing well by myself.

Thanks and please go easy on me

Good riddance to him. Your children will not hate you, he is talking shit.

I love that he thinks he has the moral high ground with his little... quotes of wisdom... you're doing the right thing OP

Well done you! Perhaps it is worth the money to be free from him. You cannot put a price on peace of mind.

TemptressofWaikiki - Yes it is, I have told the children they took it well which I wasn’t expecting except for my eldest who has said can we move home because he doesn’t feel safe living here.

Is it an unsafe area?

SandyY2K - Thank you, but I don’t feel comfortable with going to counselling, it is just how I feel right now.

No worries.
If you reach the point where you feel it may be useful, I hope you find a good counsellor.

Counselling won't be helpful if you're not ready to engage.

Take your time.

Mxyzptlk - Why would you ask if it’s an unsafe area? Why would I move myself and my children into an unsafe area?

Maybe because your child is asking to move house because they don't feel safe?
Jesus op, you really need to calm your shit and stop being so reactionary to people asking genuine question.
No offence was meant and there was no judgement or suggestion that you deliberately moved your children to an unsafe area.

SprayingMonsters I wondered why your child feels unsafe.
Lots of people find themselves living in an unsafe area, through no fault of their own. So I wondered if that was the reason.

TheBogWitchIsBack - I’m very calm I had the best night sleep last night and my mind is clear, I just wanted to know why she would ask if the area we live in is unsafe, she’s answered the question now, I think it is best that you don’t comment on my thread anymore.

He doesn’t feel safe because his dad isn’t here, nothing to do with the area or anything else.

I can comment wherever I like op. However, I agree with you. You're rude and argumentative towards people who have a genuinely concern.
You've been given some excellent advice.
I hope you take it.

Well, I nearly asked the question why your son felt unsafe - I'm glad I didn't now - if I wasn't worried about getting my head bitten off, I'd suggest that his feelings connected with his Dad not being there probably warrants more exploration (with him, or you, not on here).

Oh, hang on, I'm not worried about getting my head bitten off; it's a valid question and I'm asking it because children don't normally associate safety with one particular parent; what is his anxiety about, where has it come from - knowing more about this may help you get some solutions (for him) to help increase his feeling of safety.

squishy - Morning 👋🏼 He has just said he doesn’t feel safe when his dad is not here, I asked him why he said ‘I just don’t’ as a child I never used to feel safe when my dad wasn’t home.

I have taken the advice given, I have split up with him and I won’t allow him to step foot back in the house

Op. You are not getting many respondents on your thread. Very often the relationship threads where folk are needing a lot of support to stay strong get a lot of replies. Maybe ask yourself why yoirs is telatively quiet ? People are trying to help you and your snippiness is putting them off.

AnyFucker - There is no reason why people should still be commenting on this post.

Because they want to help you, to reassure you, to support you at a difficult time ?

AnyFucker - I am grateful for the advice that was given and I took it. I don’t feel as if I need any more support. He is gone now I can try and get on with life!

Ok. Good luck.

AnyFucker - Thanks girl x

Right so he called this morning asking if he could come and get some of his things, I said it wasn’t convenient because it isn’t. He told me to stop fucxing with him then went on to call me a bitch and a slag, so he definitely be getting any of his stuff back, or do you think that’s petty?

I'd pack it all up and leave it outside. Tell him if it's not gone by a certain time it will be left out for the bin men

lardass88 I'm not sure that's legal. tbh I'm not sure what the OP is suggesting is legal either but I'm not saying anything in case I get my head bitten off. The big thing is whether the ex will do anything like involve police etc or whether he will walk away

Is there anyone you could leave his things with so you don’t need to see him.

He’s needs to have his things back but you need to protected yourself from seeing him.

Failing that, pack it into boxes and leave in the fall and arrange for him to come when you can have a friend there and you either go out or stay upstairs with headphones and a blindfold on do you aren’t tempered down.

Pack up all his belonging... or bag them up... then call him to say they are ready for collection... when you can see him arriving.. put the belongings at the door.. so there is no need for him to enter.. alternatively.. make sure someone else is in the house when he collects his things

I’m grump today with PMT, so you really should not follow my suggestions. If someone spoke to me like that, I’d personally would torch all of his stuff while doing a witchy kind of dance around the bonfire. Then tell him that he can replace his shite with the money he owes you for paying his fines. But this is not sensible advice….