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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What's the worst thing an Ex said to you, when the relationship broke down?

160 replies

Huskylover1 · 16/05/2018 20:11

My first husband cheated on me, throughout our 20 year relationship. I had no idea, until about 16 years in, and then I took a few years to leave him.

Some gems from him, on learning that I was leaving :

  • I'm going to convert my parents loft into a bedroom, and the children can live there without you (50 miles away) Confused

  • You will live to regret this (erm, no, I won't)

And my personal favourite, after weeks and weeks of begging me not to leave....

"Oh just fuck off then, sex with you was like fucking a corpse anyway"

Gaaah

OP posts:
mostdays · 16/05/2018 20:12

"I wouldn't have slept with her if you hadn't been so cold to me."
He spent months begging to get back together after that. Tit.

LeChatDeNuit · 16/05/2018 20:13

When I broke my nose... ‘You didn’t really break your nose. You’re just exaggerating.’

When I was being investigated for endo... ‘It doesn’t hurt that bad. You’re being dramatic. Endo is not a big deal.’

Hmm
flopsyrabbit1 · 16/05/2018 20:14

my ex said his peach "i stopped loving you when you told me you were pregnant"

hasten to say he has never been in our lives

Original poster
Huskylover1 · 16/05/2018 20:18

Fucking hell! Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
Huskylover1 · 16/05/2018 20:19

Oh...I've just thought of another....

"Everyone snogs other people at nightclubs & work do's, it's just a bit of fun....whereas YOU are breaking up a family"

Uurgh. Dickhead.

OP posts:
intheairthatnightfernando · 16/05/2018 20:19

'How long have you left like this?' (me, when he announced he was leaving out of the blue after 20 mainly happy years together, some ups and down like everyone else)

Him: 'Years'

Original poster
Huskylover1 · 16/05/2018 20:21

That's harsh intheair and I bet it wasn't true.

OP posts:
intheairthatnightfernando · 16/05/2018 20:23

I don't think it was true either, but I'll never know.

What ex said is just horrific! It's so incredible anyone could actually say something like that😵😵😵

Irontheshirts · 16/05/2018 20:23

'How long have you left like this?' (me, when he announced he was leaving out of the blue after 25 mainly happy years together, some ups and down like everyone else)
'Years, before we moved actually'
We had been living in our house for 16years
DD at 17 heard him say this.

intheairthatnightfernando · 16/05/2018 20:24

Oh irontheshirts

So harsh and cruel and awful. Lines like that just break you.

BeesAndMist · 16/05/2018 20:24

I’ve been very low since dc2 was born. I’ve been struggling to keep the house clean, get myself showered, take dc to groups etc. I’ve cried everyday for as long as I can remember. Last week I decided that I was going to see the go as I was genuinely worried I was going to kill myself. I told dh I’d made an appointment and how I was feeling when he came home in the evening. He just said ‘don’t be daft you’re fine. You always just want to make a drama out of everything.’

I’m not a drama queen at all. I don’t complain to him or anyone else about anything. I think it’s made me realise that my marriage is dead though. I’m going to get better and then I’m going to fuck off away from him.

Irontheshirts · 16/05/2018 20:24

Inthe air - were we married to the same man?

dudsville · 16/05/2018 20:25

The asshole threatened suicide. It was tricky. Although he'd never previously hurt himself he was angry, depressed and vindictive as standard. My saying I was going was such a blow to his ego. I stood my ground and told him if he ever said anything like that ever again I'd tell his boss. He then stormed off to a nightclub to try to measure me jealous! Idiot.

Irontheshirts · 16/05/2018 20:26

It's the hurt is caused my DD who believes he has never been happy since she born.

intheairthatnightfernando · 16/05/2018 20:27

I know, it's scary how many losers trot out the same old lines. I felt really freaked when I was made acquainted with The Script that is so famous on Mumsnet. It is so shocking, like they all learn these awful lines that stay with us...

Pixikitten0123 · 16/05/2018 20:28

When our daughter became seriously ill with uncontrollable life threatening epilepsy “well she was due a seizure anyway wasn’t she?” She’s currently having over 100 seizures a week and doesn’t bother calling to see how she is even after hospital appointments.

lexi873 · 16/05/2018 20:30

“Good luck finding someone else to put up with that disgusting belly of yours, your body’s ruined and you know it is” ... left in a voicemail to me slagging off every aspect of my appearance.
I’m kicking myself I let such a gent go Hmm

Original poster
Huskylover1 · 16/05/2018 20:31

Oh bees that's quite dismissive of him. Having young kids can be so hard, just take it day by day. I only had 19 months between my two, and was on my knees at times. This too shall pass. Mine are 21 & 19 now, and we are the best of friends. One day at a time, your kids really need you. I read a good saying recently (for Mums who are struggling) , just think at the end of each day "Everyone fed, no-one dead". That really is enough, until things get easier!

OP posts:
Joy69 · 16/05/2018 20:31

When I was sorting out the finances with my ex he wanted a bigger chunk of the house than me and said " Dont take this the wrong way, but you're Mum will be dead soon & you' ll be ok for money" My Mum was actually very poorly at the time. Needless to say he didn't get what he wanted!!!Angry

Aminuts23 · 16/05/2018 20:31

‘It never really meant anything . You were just somebody I thought would be a pleasant shag for a few months’ - after 11 months together and whilst abroad on our first (last) holiday together. NC after that. Tosser Grin

camaleon · 16/05/2018 20:32

I was 16. With the guy (4 years older) since I was 13. I was not ready for sex. He announced one day that he was MARRYING another woman, in 6 months, because 'she gave him' what I was withholding. But it was important I knew 'he would always love me more'.

It was not all blackmail. Somehow he was with both of us. I never suspected a thing and he did marry this woman. The best thing that could have ever happened to me. But I did suffer the worst heartbreak of my life and I will never underestimate the pain of a teenager over a lost love.

SoleBizzz · 16/05/2018 20:37

I never felt anything for you.
I don't find you attractive in that way.

QueenOfMyWorld · 16/05/2018 20:40

I hope you meet a pushover next that's what you need rather than someone strong like me..he wasnt

SallyVating · 16/05/2018 20:44

"You look like a melted candle without your clothes on, that's why I cheated"

Another one said

"I prefer busty blondes" he knew what I looked like so why ask me out in the first place?

Original poster
Huskylover1 · 16/05/2018 20:45

It's funny isn't it...the difference between men and women? Even though my Ex was the wrong doer (with the serial cheating), he was the one who said dreadful things at the end. He even attacked me twice. Oh, and also tried to screw me over on money. I never said anything hurtful, or did anything bad.

Another highlight was getting my camera back, only to find pics of his new woman giving him a blowjob. Ha ha ha ha.

OP posts: