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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What's the worst thing an Ex said to you, when the relationship broke down?

160 replies

Huskylover1 · 16/05/2018 20:11

My first husband cheated on me, throughout our 20 year relationship. I had no idea, until about 16 years in, and then I took a few years to leave him.

Some gems from him, on learning that I was leaving :

  • I'm going to convert my parents loft into a bedroom, and the children can live there without you (50 miles away) Confused

  • You will live to regret this (erm, no, I won't)

And my personal favourite, after weeks and weeks of begging me not to leave....

"Oh just fuck off then, sex with you was like fucking a corpse anyway"

Gaaah

OP posts:
Cheesesteak · 16/05/2018 20:45

Truly heartbreaking but it was what finally gave me the courage to actually walk away and not go back.
Long story short, not looking for sympathy but I was abused as a child by a close family member. His response in an argument. It was all you and your parents fault for going up there and them dropping you off. I was what 5. Oh and he called me all the usual stuff fat slag etc etc.
God how did I waste sooo many years!! Very happily married now by the way Grin

Huskylover1 · 16/05/2018 20:47

Me too cheesesteak....got an adorable DH now.

There can always be a happy ending, after you leave a dickhead!

OP posts:
Cheesesteak · 16/05/2018 20:50

Yep there’s always light at the end of the scummy, low life, wanker of a tunnel.

LeChatDeNuit · 16/05/2018 21:01

Husky your camera ShockShock

WhoWants2Know · 16/05/2018 21:04

"Oh just fuck off then, sex with you was like fucking a corpse anyway"

-OMG, snap! My ex said exactly the same! None of my subsequent sexual partners seemed to agree...

FWBcomplexity · 16/05/2018 21:11

'It was your fault you got raped as a kid. You make everyone want to hurt you.'

It literally took my breath away.

Mumteedum · 16/05/2018 21:18

Fwb... No words Flowers

My ex said it had been over for at least 3 years. Ds was 2.

SoleBizzz · 16/05/2018 21:20

FWB ugh he is rotten to his core. Utter stinking scum.

glitchycoffee · 16/05/2018 21:30

FWB - what a despicable thing to say. I hope you have found some peace- without him.

Mine said I didn't try hard enough to make the marriage work. Despite him being charged with a criminal offence - against me.

FWBcomplexity · 16/05/2018 21:36

Yep, got away after broken bones, being bitten, sexual assaults and financial & psychological abuse. That parting shot has left the deepest wound though, rape crisis really had to do a lot of work after that comment. This thread has helped me remember that leaving was the best decision I've ever made.

Mybabystolemysanity · 16/05/2018 21:37

"you're really nice and all... You're just a bit overweight..."

I was 19, 5 foot 7 and a size 10-12. He was divorcing, a bit vain, gym going and 20 years older than me. Prat.

VanGoghsDog · 16/05/2018 21:45

I split with a guy who had been cheating on me and OW and I had spoken to each other and both of us worked it out. I dumped him, presumably so did she. He said to me "you're only losing one boyfriend, I'm losing TWO girlfriends".

Most recent ex (by email, when I was in the next bedroom) "if you agree to x (the thing I had not agreed to and the reason I told him it was over) we might have a chance, if not, we're done. Bring me a cup of tea (he was in bed, this actually meant 'come and get into bed with me and let me shag you') if you agree".

Fecking dickhead. No tea was brought.

Sally2791 · 16/05/2018 21:51

"It's your fault I kissed her, I was drunk and you wouldn't dance with me". Somehow I ended up apologising. That was many years ago, I can see more clearly now!

OakIsBetterTho · 16/05/2018 21:54

Its no wonder your dad used to hit you, you're an absolute cunt - said by my boyfriend at the time, after he'd slapped me for calling him out on flirting with another girl in front of me and mutual friends
I swear to god, I wish I could break your nose - same guy, making it clear he'd do much worse to me were he not to be caught
God there's some absolute worldies here, you know how I like a good pair of legs - at ladies day at ascot, a birthday treat for me. I'd just had a fairly serious op on my leg and as such was self conscious about the noticeable scars and muscle wastage.

Actually both were said before we broke up - he wasn't too bad after we broke up, on his best behaviour trying to get me back

DrMorbius · 16/05/2018 22:03

"you're only losing one boyfriend, I'm losing TWO girlfriends".

That is comedy gold an absolute classic GrinGrin

TuTru · 16/05/2018 22:09

God!!! So much!! I hate him! But none of it was as bad as being with him!

thefourgp · 16/05/2018 22:11

Husky that’s very true. My ex has been truly bloody awful to me because I had the audacity to break up with him when he repeatedly treated me like shit.

He told me ‘you’re going to end up a poor, single mum and the only guys who’ll be interested in you are guys who want their hole’.

When he refused to pay me maintenance he told me ‘I’m struggling to afford food when you’re walking around looking pregnant because of all the takeaways you eat’. He’d been away on holiday that weekend and I’m a size 14 with a pot belly which he knows I’m sensitive about.

The time he said I was an ‘ungrateful piece of shit’ in front of our young children because I complained about him sticking our kids in front of the Xbox with a packet of biscuits to eat for 10 hours when I was at hospital with my dad who’d had a severe stroke.

He simply does not understand why I don’t want to be with him anymore. He truly believes he’s a total catch. He’s deluded.

FWB - that’s horrendous. He’s scum. X Flowers

didsomeonesaybunny · 16/05/2018 22:14

“Even though I begged you to get pregnant [and got pregnant] I’m financially unstable and need to chose the safest bet for now which means leaving you for a while. When I feel secure I’m yours”

And

“You won’t find anyone whilst your pregnant or a while after, no man wil want to take that on”

I haven’t taken him back despite his desperate attempts and indeed found a man, a rather lovely one actually.

Mrtumblesspottybag10 · 16/05/2018 22:22

Oh wow, some.of.these things could.not.be made.up, my personal.faves are:

  • you were just one big mistake
  • the OW loves me in a way you never good.and is a million times more of a woman than you will ever be
  • i am so stressed and suicidal i cant even leave the housd (but ex mutual friend has posted.pics of them being out drinking over the weekend)
  • i feel sorry for them kids (our DC) having you as a mum, you are just a stupid slag with nothing going for her

I could go on 🙈

UnlikelyAstronaut · 16/05/2018 22:31

'Your womb will never hold a baby anyway'

'Slice off your cellulite with a knife and fuck off and die'

'When the baby is born I am going to get custody of it'

Yeah right.

Ofthread · 16/05/2018 22:35

My ex who wouldn't give me a child, leaving it too late for me, then he started seeing one of our friends. Me 'What are you going to do when she wants children?' Him: 'Oh well, I'll have children with her'.

I'm still struggling to not kill the both of them.

onanotherday · 16/05/2018 22:37

... so many to choose... when leaving for ow.. your pass it now... thanksConfused...finally fessing up to a ons .. 3 years before we got married... you don't know how hard it's been to live with the guiltAngryConfused

.. no as hard as marrying and having a family for 20 years with a cheat..
I think not telling me all those years ago took choices away. Still l have to amazing DCs and a life.
Ex lost the ow .. a career .. home and is in bed sitter land on benefits.. not that I'm floatingWink

onanotherday · 16/05/2018 22:38

Damn typos!

NotTheFordType · 16/05/2018 22:41

Him: oh by the way - shoot ya
Me: what?
Him: when we first got together I took you out for a fried breakfast in [local area] and a woman brought our meals up and you said "if I ever get that fat, shoot me". Yeah well, you're that fat
Me: OK. So I'll pick up Ds on Friday evening as usual, yeah?

TokenGinger · 16/05/2018 22:45

You will only ever be good enough for a man to get his dick wet. No man will ever commit to you.

Another ex said:

You are not good enough to be the mother of my children. You are not intelligent enough and I worry about what level of intelligence a child grown in your womb would inherit.