Er, you did twist it somewhat. When I said speculate, I meant I might for a couple of seconds wonder why they are bothering.
If you backpedal any faster, you'll hit the ocean. You REALLY need something better to do. I hear burlesque dancing is great fun and forms close female friendships.
I really should know better than to look at threads like this. I know they're always full of braying fools with so little to boast about that turning other people's relationships into moral issues is all they've got. Still, on the off chance that anyone here really can't understand and wants to know...
Why do it?
Short answer: Because we want to. That's all we need.
Long answer: In our case, we always wanted to get married in the European city where we got engaged. For various boring reasons, that wasn't possible. We're now at a stage where we actually can take our immediate family away for a couple of days, and mock it up. We love the idea, our family get a free mini-break, I get to wear the dress a second time, the thought just makes us happy. We just bloody want to.
Which of you cheated?
Neither. Is that really so hard to understand?
But I can see why a couple struggling to get past infidelity might have a second ceremony to mark a fresh start. Might not work, but then the problem is the infidelity, not the vow renewal. Would you sneer at them going to couples counselling or moving to a new city to try to make a fresh start?
And if your issue is that someone cheated, they're renewing vows and they invited you, well, aren't you just as pure as the driven snow. If it offends you so much, don't go.
Why not do it on your golden wedding anniversary?
What? Why would we wait 40-odd years until our parents are dead for something we want to do now? Who's to say we'll both live that long? Carpe diem, my friend. I want to do it while I'm young and beautiful.
I think it's self indulgent.
Everything is self indulgent if you're going to look at it that way. Yes, we are doing it for no reason other than it makes us happy. As the song goes, I work at pleasing me 'cause I can't please you.
It's a waste of money.
It's our money and we'll spend it as we wish.
It's attention seeking.
You're right. I do want my husband and family to pay some attention to me. Guilty as charged. What is this MN obsession with 'attention seeking'? Why do so many of you want us all to live our lives in shrouds being ignored all the time? If you don't want to give your attention, don't give it. Whence all this absolute spitefulness?
I know someone who renewed their vows and got divorced five seconds later.
Good for you. I know someone who divorced without ever renewing their vows so clearly your marriage is fucked.
You're just trying to prove something.
Yes, that we will do as we please with our own time and money, affecting nobody else. My God, do you really think we're going to this trouble and expense to impress YOU? Good thing you're not invited, we'd never get your ego past customs.
It's IMMORAL. It makes you a LESSER PERSON.
My conscience is completely clear on this one. Honestly. I have done some bad things in my life that I am not proud of, but this really, really isn't one of them.
BUT I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA!
I can totally live with that.
Ok, I think I got them all. Just to recap, though - I really, really do not care if you renew your vows or not. You do you, etc. Please just remember that not everyone is you, and sometimes people just like things that you don't like, it's not a crime and they're probably not going to be punished for it. Sorry.