What do you think when you hear someone is renewing their wedding vows?

[Mytwistedimagination]

Just that. Do you see it as a positive or negative? Do you assume there's a particular reason behind it?

(Reading that back, it sounds like journo fishing. It's not, believe me!)

Because, I think, it's a one off. Not a repeatable event.

Because, I think, it's a one off. Not a repeatable event.
Yes!

Your vows are taken for life, not until someone cheats, you want to wear a wedding dress again and have a bug fuss made.

'Because, I think, it's a one off. Not a repeatable event.'

Quite

I'd think it was silly, especially if there's a big fuss round it or a full on wedding type thing.

We always talked of renewing our vows for tenth anniversary- no cheating a marriage strong. Money stopped us as my DH decided he would rather go away just the two of us. That was 5 years ago 😂

I too would think “why?” Did one of your forget your vows and need to reaffirm them?

How is it self indulgent attention seeking to want to celebrate and reaffirm your relationship after years together,possibly with people you care about,but not self indulgent attention to spend huge amounts of time and money on your original wedding?

Don't worry, on MN it's just as criminal to have a standard wedding.

But you should do both anyway, because you wouldn't want to deny some people the 'fun' of 'speculating' on your relationship.

We did it earlier this year in Lapland in a beautiful church. Just myself, DH, our children, daughter in law and grandson there. No party or fancy clothes, we wore jeans and snowboots and DH and I went to the pub for a pint afterwards. Not for any special anniversary (we've been married 27yrs this July) or reason but just because we wanted to.
We've had some crap times in our marriage espescially in the last few years (not due to affairs or anything like that) but we've stuck together, supported and loved each other through thick and thin and we just wanted to do it.

I must admit that I would think someone had cheated, however I said that I wanted to do it at the 10 year mark because I caved and had the wedding everyone else wanted instead of what we wanted. So we’re having the more informal and fun wedding then. People are well aware of my reasons.

I still can’t look at my wedding photos nearly 8 years on so it’s happening

Is it criminal to have a standard wedding?
Sure the big party thing might not be to my tastes but I don't feel anything other than happiness for my friends who choose that route.

Now it we are talking trying to emulate OK magazine then yes, it's a but much.

I've been to one of these after 5 years of marriage. The H wanted it, we speculated the W was getting sick of him and less than a year later she left him. (Quite rightly, he was an arse).

I think ''he cheated''.

Sorry.

Reminds me of when Ronan Keating and Yvonne renewed their vows.
He should have gone in and renewed them. She could have sat at the back with a book waiting for him.

I have only ever really heard of it when one partner has had a very serious illness, or when someone is dying. Might be a cultural thing though!

It's really horrible of me but the first thought that would spring to mind is that they will be splitting up soon. This is because three couples of my acquaintance who renewed their vows divorced a couple of years afterwards.

Each to their own but I never understand why people do it. As far as I'm concerned, you take your marriage vows once.

Is it criminal to have a standard wedding?

On MN, apparently so. It comes under the heading of 'attention seeking'.

Me, see, I win MN weddings. I got married in an underpass and wore a potato sack with holes cut in it. We served the guests nothing but hay and canal water. Just in case anyone was still thinking of having fun and mistaking it for a happy occasion, we hired someone to punch all the guests in the face as they came in too.

Now you know why we're renewing our vows!

Having said what I did below, I think Shockedshell's way of doing it sounds lovely

PoorYorrick

My husband wants to do this, because we never really had a wedding the first time around (we were young and we eloped).

I’m not bothered because I hate weddings, but his mother had never forgiven him for getting married without her.

Indeed

ALAS

Yorick 😆

I went to a vow renewal many years ago. My DD was asked to be bridesmaid. It was her childminder, she had married her husband in the early 70s and was made to have a registry office wedding in their lunch breaks wearing their work clothes. Their parents wouldn’t help pay for a church wedding and were utterly foul by all accounts, so they just got married quickly and cheaply. Probably to escape home!

They decided to renew vows on their 25th wedding anniversary and had the big white church wedding they’d always wanted. It was beautiful. They were surrounded by their children, family and friends and had a wonderful day.

That was 15 years ago and they’re still together and very much in love.

Some couples I’d probably wonder why they were doing it, but for others I’d just think “how lovely” and enjoy the day.

nursy1 sorry, that question wasn't for you. It was my answer to the OP - it's what I think when I hear of a vow renewal.

My PIL renewed their vowels at 50 years...it was really lovely and a posh garden party after...they had a quick runaway ceremony when they were younger! As far as I'm aware no cheating or bad stuff involved just simply long time love

Negative. Marriage in trouble.

I’ve only come across this in a religious context, as part of a Mass of thanksgiving for a Silver/Golden wedding and it was certainly happening at least 40 years ago, admittedly only amongst the very devout, and usually just close family attending - not a big show.

I suppose it is similar to the congregation renewing their baptismal vows on Easter Sunday, but as a child I thought it a bit strange, felt a bit intrusive - but not as strange as the papal wedding blessing certificate hanging above the marital bed of my parents’ friends!

I only personally know one couple who have had a vow renewal. Big extravagant affair, proper wedding style cake etc. Both had cheated. Within a year of the vow renewal they had separated