Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Runs, Thank you for replying to me! That's useful, thank you. So, there's not really an advantage to paying for OLD then? I've started to set up a POF profile and have messages saying things like 'hello darling' and 'how are you today' etc. Seems a bit odd when I haven't even written anything on there/ posted a photo yet. Thanks for the heads up about message settings- I wouldn't have seen that. I feel similar to you, feeling sorry for myself when everyone seems to be enjoying the sun together. I hope someone genuine comes through for you. I'm trying to get my head round developing a thicker skin and hope I can be as brave as you all seem!

Had my first first date a week past on Sunday, really liked him and saw him again this Saturday. Already I can feel myself getting overinvested, liking him too much, texting him too much. Does anyone have any good tips for taking a step back while still making sure they know you are interested? He is lovely, lovely, lovely but obviously I am aware I’m taking him at face value and it is impossible to really know someone at this stage. I need to keep my guard up. But he’s so lovely!!!

Cat try to limit the texts, I even switch my phone off for a couple of hours to stop me texting. Just remember that most people seem lovely at first because they are on their best behaviour, trying to make a good impression so tread carefully.

I have spent the weekend with Mr Tinder, I’m still unsure how I feel about everything even though we are officially in a relationship, I’m not sure if I have strong feeling for him as I still have a wall up (which I’m struggling to take down). So Sunday morning I was pissed off as he didn’t get out of bed until almost 11.30am, in the end I went up and told him I was going to grab some food shopping, I obviously had my bitch face on and he quickly got up, apologised several times and said ‘you should have woke me up’ (I had tried several times). Anyway, managed not to have a argument about it and the rest of Sunday went well apart from him mentioning maybe living with me one day . So I’m trying to keep it cool, slow things down a little but it’s hard (as I’m enjoying the sex) but I miss my time to myself. So I am perched on the edge of the smitten bench, maybe just one cheek.

Val, runs and sky what's wrong hun? sad face emoticon

Sorry couldn't resist, I can't stand it either. I guess 'chick' or 'bird' would be worse?

I'm going to copy you love just one cheek on the smitten bench. Talking with Mr Cute regularly and the mooseburgers are good so I'm happy with this continuing.

I've been chatting on and off with someone for the last week. Last night we agreed a date for next weekend. All seemed to be going well, the messages were going back and forth quickly and were funny and flirty. Possibly getting a little too flirty but we both seemed to be enjoying it.

I sent a message and he didn't reply straightaway. Instead he went offline. He's got no last seen or blue ticks so I only know that messages are delivered. I waited about 30 mins then asked if he'd fallen asleep. Nothing!

Do I wait and see if he gets back to me today or send him a slightly annoyed message later today?

Leave it Runs if he fell asleep he will probably be in touch soon. If he wants to carry on chatting he will message, if he doesn't then no point in chasing.
If he did just nod off and then is busy today, a slightly annoyed message will not make him want to keep talking to you.
Relax, think of something else today and see what develops.
Have a good day :)

ignoring thanks I agree it's best not to chase. I doubt he fell asleep, more likely he got chatting to someone else as he was on POF as well.
He can do that as we haven't met. I just found it rude not to reply to me at all.

Morning everyone. And welcome to the new daters. Pof is free and where I met many frogs and a handsome french one - I actually chatted to him by accident.

Not much to report here. Seeing MrFrench on Thursday afternoon, cant wait.

morning, just thought id update where im at right now:

MrForeign not seeing him, just let it fizzle out. the spark just wasnt there and i started dreading him coming round. we managed about 9/10 times of meeting up. he got chewing gum on my bed on TWO separate occasions, and completely ruined the duvet cover. put it in the bin! do you just let it fall out of your mouth?

he’s started using the same gym as me “for a change of scenery” even though its an hour from his house and he lives next to the same chain of gym. so ive been trying to avoid him, i find it a bit creepy actually.

MrChatty i met on tinder and we had alot in common, he was looking for FWB. we talked on whatsapp for a week. he then bombarded me with messages when i was ill and in hospital “what have i done wrong?” type messages. i blocked him, many red flags.

MrLovebomb briefly dated last year, have started talking again. he keeps booty calling me but i just ignore and pretend to be asleep. doubt id go back there.

Mr19 i fancy him so much my gym crush. so right now im just focussing on myself and admiring him from afar.

So I need some advice, Mr Hun/babe/luv, has disappeared from POF - he was on there yesterday but his photo kept appearing and disappearing over the past couple of weeks. I'm meant to be meeting him tomorrow but not sure now whether I should bother going. Red flags are flying!

Val I think it’s a huge red flag, the fact he keeps hiding his photo would scream out ‘married man’ to me, I might be wrong but from past expereance this has been true of a couple of my irons.

Yes that is what I think Love - he has just WhatsApped me to ask if I'm ok - do you think he reads this lol

Val hun, just chillax, he's probably just hidden his profile because he knows he's meeting you. Or as Love says, he's up to something dodgy

Panic over, my iron messaged me this morning to say he didn't reply because his phone stopped working. Do I believe him? Not sure. If you're phone's off the WA can't deliver messages, right? But it was so sudden that I thought something must've happened.
I've had too many men lie, cheat, be rude, crude and abusive lately that my level of trust is zero.

I have no advice for the thread at the moment, because I am an idiot.

Messed it up with Mr French and although I tell myself its his loss, I am a bit deflated by it all.

Go a date with a younger Brazilian surfer on Thursday night. I have been talking to him very loosely for months, we arranged three times and I had to cancel for genuine reasons. He has been really patient so I feel I should give him a chance.

I am going to line another date up for Friday night, chatting to a rather nice Spanish dude.

Saturday night I am going to a hotel with my Mum. Gonna get dressed up and maybe even hit the casino :) Its her birthday so am treating her.

Ex FWB been back in touch again so I always have an option. Now I just need to work out what the hell it is I actually want. I wrote a list, top of it is "emotional availability".

My mum left me a voice message today to say she thinks I am chosing men on purpose, because I am scared shitless of a relationship. Maybe she is right, I feel a bit wounded at the moment, doesn;t help that ex is still playing mind games with me.

Spenign the day with Mr A tomorrow, he isn't in my sphere anymore, but my electirican is :)

Runs that made me laugh - I asked him how I was going to for one - waiting to see if/what kind of photo he sends.

Pud Glad you are keeping yourself busy - hope your dates go well.

Pudding do you think you could work it out with Mr French or absolutely over?

I will see Mr Cute later today. I keep talking myself out of getting attached. I can't see any red flags, but a few amber - not much messaging, can be a bit arrogant and some sense of humour differences. I fancy him so much I think I'm trying to check that this isn't making me let him off more easily. I may see if Amy Young has advice on being practical even if you fancy someone.

Mr Hun/babe/luv is strangely reluctant to send me a photo - or his make of car - but I am getting lots of kisses.

It's ok Smeaton he's already dropped - he said I know what he looks like - and I do vaguely- but wanted to make sure before going up to some random bloke in a car park - wished him good luck and sent him on his way - was tempted to say goodbye hun but thought that was a bit childish

choc If he came back to me, and made an effort to come and see me rather than me going to him, perhaps. But he has already shown me who he is. I think at this stage he is a bit too complex for me to understand. Good luck with Mr Cute.

So the most random tinder conversation goes to the potential Mr Spanish. He is totally my type, nice chat. Then he asks me what i am looking for, so i told him, asked him the same. This was his reply.

Well I’m looking for some girls to come to a private party 28 of may. Because my bro is finish to playing football. To do barbecue , swimming pool and have fun

His brother is a professional footballer, he is retiring, he sent me a link. Turns out this dude and I have matched before and I unmatched him because he was a bit vulgar. He isn't hot. Who does that?? Searches for girls on tinder to join a private party? FFS.

Pud I'm with you FFS!

pud hope it goes ok with Mr Brazilian surfer, I had been talking too Mr Tinder for months before meeting and had cancelled several dates but he’s been the best iron so far.

Val sounds like you have dodged a bullet.

The world of online gets crazier and crazier a private party that's one I've never heard before... cheeky or what...
I'm still on a break from OLD and enjoying the headspace. My sister keeps me busy with all her stories though.
She recently matched with a great guy ticks all the main boxes but is not as attracted in real as in a photo. I've told her to give it a shot but she's reluctant. What do the wise people here think?

Chocolate I am terrible, if I'm not feeling it, I'd get rid. I've probably got rid of several ideal men over the years!

No irons here and not even a sniff of a text from Mr Past who I'm supposed to see next week. I do recall the NC was the reason we stopped dating previously. So annoying, he ticks the boxes!