Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Right well that's brilliant, I had a driver recently who liked me and wanted to take me out for lunch. I tried to book him specifically for end this week and the company didn't like it.

I didn't even mention the lunch thing but they said it's not possible to ask for him, against their policy and they will speak to him (oh god). Thank god I didn't mention him asking me out.

Back to the drawing board and I'll cancel this week and use a different firm, so embarassing.

languid Its probably against policy to date clients...

Wish I could be as brave as you lot. My friend made me sign up to match last week. Ive had emails to say I have msgs but daren't go back on there and look as never know what to reply chatting about (been hiding from the world in a room for the last year)

Jax awww :(

I didn't even mention the lunch though, just said I wanted to book him specifically. That one bites the dust however. They may have even thought I was a stalker

So I've been recommended to this thread as I'm a complete fuck up when it come to men!!!! Met the one and only person I liked the look of yesterday. Had s nice few hours having drinks. No kiss. No concrete plans to meet again just a 'give me a shout if you fancy a walk?'........

I really liked him so messaged him when I got home and said it was lovely to meet him. He messaged back and said he'd also had a lovely afternoon??? And now........ nothing? I'm desperate to text him but all advice seems to be to hold off a bit and let him chase me???? What if he's thinking the same we'll never get anywhere?!!!

Shoegal looks like there's potential, give it a couple of days :)

Evening all!

pudding21 where are you finding all these hot French, Brazilian and Spanish men!? I'm clearly looking in the wrong places.

So I've got my first online date tomorrow. I'm not that nervous actually, thought I would be but strangely am not, which I hope is good. I thought it would just be a good move to distance myself from the one who messes me about. But after speaking on the phone with new guy last night I'm more hopeful. He really made me laugh! So we shall see I guess. And now the age old question of what to wear! And any other practical tips for an online newbie first date?

Languid do you think? Maybe I'm just feeling my normal pessimistic self lol..........

I am just feeling ugly and that he didn't find me attractive???? Keep going over what I wore etc?

Yep Shoegal sounds good, just text when you fancy a walk!

Hmmm maybe you're right? Just keep going over it all?

Shoegal I'm so like you!! Just breathe, distract yourself and gice him a chance. Try watching a few Amy Young videos - they always give me a swift kick up the arse/ reality check.

These are 2 of my faves x

Costa I'm gonna watch them now! I've been out the dating game so long and the only men I've met have been dicks! This man I really liked......... guess I'm just scared he doesn't feel the same?

Shoegal0305 So have I too and things have really changed - all the labels and "casual" type set ups - just mind blowing. There's loads of her videos that I find really relevant - love her Monday mantras. There's Matthew Hussey too, he's great x

She's fab!!!! Hard advice to take but she puts it across fabulous!!!! Xx

I find Amy Young a bit annoying, but good advice. I prefer Matthew Hussey

shoegal give it a couple of days.

Will look up Matthew Hussey too x

Shoegal - it can be really hard at first when you meet someone you like.... there are no hard and fast rules about contacting someone after a date. You could drop a text tomorrow or the day after to see if you can make a loose arrangement for another meet - coffee maybe?

I also second Amy Young and Matthew Hussey. I watch them both when I need a bit of a head wobble. There is also a book called "Why Men love bitches" which is vital reading in this dating game...... it is a jungle out there and you need have a thick skin (doesn't come easy!) & be able to dust yourself off & get back out there.

I fell hard and fast for my first date - came out of a messy 8yr relationship and was very naieve and blind! Got my fingers burnt and learnt quickly. It's been a bumpy road but I now have my head in a good place to deal with all the stuff that dating brings.

Good luck on this crazy magic carpet ride that is online dating xxx

So I have finally heard from Mr Academic 2 days after we DTD on date 3. Not unsurprising as he is very laid back and always so slow to correspond. I mentioned meeting again and he is keen, so what next? Should I suggest a day? Or should I leave it a day or two and wait to see what he suggests? He's immensely laid back. I don't think he's seeing anyone else. He just has a busy life. And takes things as they come. I'm used to lovebombing situations so I guess I should actually sit back and simply enjoy this. He is very attentive when we're together. This is so different and I think I just have to accept him as he is and trust him. But it's so hard!!

Another date and I'm now about 1 and a half cheeks on the smitten bench. It's too early to fully sit on it as I don't know what Mr Cute is like in a wider range of situations yet. I know I am being heavily influenced by physical chemistry and happy hormones released after DTD.

I need to reign this in as I have now started to wonder how I would feel if he doesn't like me as much, but he does seem keen. We can see each other's FB profiles and he seems genuine. Costa I love the Amy Young don't give your date too many f*cks video. I need to watch more of this.

Pudding is it worth sending one brief message to Mr French, "still think it is a shame things didn't work, but hope you're OK?" Open the door, but he has to walk through it and make the move if he wants to? At least it may help with closure if he doesn't try anything?

TomHardys I can get annoyed if I don't get a message after 6 hours, so think you've been really patient. He doesn't sound that keen, or he may think you prefer infrequent contact or want a low key relationship?

Hi all,

I am thinking of taking a break, dated a single dad, failed to work, then met a different on Pof, thought was quite nice. But then seemed so obsessed with knowing everything abt me on the first date. Had 8 dates, which were all great but broke up last night as he felt I was withholding info. Dating sucks.

Bug do you think the last one had trust issues in general?
I would try again, it sounds like you just met a few and it didn't work out. Dating is easier with a thick skin for kissing lots of frogs

choc that's great news. I hope things work out for you. I know it is hard to stay calm once you have DTD.

Mr Academic has always been like this. We've been messaging for about 4 months now, but he was away for at least a month at the start. In the time I got maybe one message a week. When he got back we finally got round to meeting. We get on well and have a nice time together. But in a way I'm so used to infrequent messaging it doesn't bother me. That said, I would like to see him again and I know he wants to see me. He's been single for several years and I figure he's just so focused on himself and his life that he has this very laid back approach to dating. He did tell me he's not seeing anyone else. But there is a bit of me thinks that if he wants to see me he will suggest something. I instigated dates two and three, so I'm going to just sit and wait for him to be more forthcoming about the next one. Thinking about WMLB men respond to no contact and not words.

bug it does sound a bit of red flag to me. You can't learn everything about someone in such a short space of time. Plus you don't have to tell him everything if you don't want to. That almost sounds a bit like lovebombing to me.
There is someone out there for you. Get yourself back on line, sift through the potato heads and the ones with the large carp, you will find someone.

Tom - I'm probably one of the only few people on the thread who much prefers less contact and would much rather have someone who is attentive in person and not text so much, so please remember this is not always a sign of disintrest. I'm much like your guy, lots going on - and until someone is going to be a significant part of my life, I'm not going to prioritise texting them.

So on that note, if you like him - just drop a message saying you had a good time and propose a next meet!

Can I join? I’ve been OLD for about 6 months, mostly total disasters and I’ve been hurt a lot - possibly not ready for it as I’ve only been separated a year but I’m putting myself out there anyway 😐

So I’ve recently met a guy I like, seen him 5 or 6 times and really seem to click. But I’m just completely clueless how to play it - the previous losers have made me cynical and distrustful. I worry when he doesn’t text but rarely text first myself and tbh it’s doing my head in. Any advice for how to just go with it in the early days?

One positive of meeting him is that I’ve completely deleted every other person I’ve met or chatted to so I can’t go back there, got to be a good thing although not sure what I’ll do if this doesn’t work out - go back online I guess 🙄