Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

costa your right, it’s my bed he’s now asleep in not hers. I’m trying to reason with myself. It’s just after meeting so many two faced men on OLD I’m unsure if anyone is safe .

I get that the hi-vis brigade probably message every woman on POF and I'll get messages from randoms who are at the other end of the country. But I don't understand why I haven't had a single message from anyone local that I've actually wanted to send a reply to. I feel there's a conspiracy

Love I would feel uneasy about this. It will niggle at you so you have to ask him.
He's publicly said he's in a relationship, which is a positive, and his decision. And he seems happy to discuss concerns you have. As hard as it might be, you have to have the conversation or it will eat away at you.

Just had my first 'you frigid' on POF !starting texting yesterday - quite a nice convo - then he started dropping a few things in, to full blown whilst I was in Sainsbury's ! I've replied that I've been told I f**k like a rabbit and as for oral - I've not heard back from him yet!

Val In Sainsbury's! How shocking .
But seriously, I've had similar happen to me and it's not pleasant. You can report and block them but it doesn't seem to make any difference.

I had a message today from someone 2 hrs drive away and 14 yrs younger than me. I sent a polite "sorry but you're too far away and too young". And got a load of abuse back!

I can't believe they can turn so nasty and so quickly!! What a lucky escape I'd say.

Love I agree with the suggestion to just ask him about her. Start as you mean to go on and be open and honest. Try not to give her too much thinking time - self esteem is a bitch that needs to be tamed. X

hello! I am still seeing MrG. It's now around 6 weeks I think, maybe a bit longer but I am still not sure. It's difficult when you can only see each other once or twice a week and they are snatched times.

I am also incredibly, and I mean incredibly, wary of trusting men too quickly. Although he is divorced, his ex wife is ever present and he's guarded with his phone. I think he is still keeping his options open (not with the ex wife but i suspect maybe with others). He's come off online dating and he says he is committed to a relationship with me - I want to believe him but I am not actually convinced he is yet.

seeing him tonight to have a chat about this all....Sigh!

in other news, ants have invaded my house....I have never seen so many, they are crawling all over the computer while I type eeeek!

love - I understand those feelings entirely and they are the same ones I have about MrG but I don't think it's bad we have these feelings! They are there to protect us though as you say, I'm sure there are a lot of men who are trustworthy and reliable.

yay i finally found new thread

Think I'm ready to give up on Tinder, I'm only looking for people within a certain distance and only swipe for those within my range but it's happening more and more that it will say 15miles or whatever then when we match and I look again they are now showing as hundreds of miles away or something, does this happen to anyone else??
None of the matches ever message anyway or reply to me so seems a bit pointless now

Is bumble worth trying?

nelumbo . I use pof, seems to be accurate in distance.

Morning. Totally fucked it with mr french. He's repsonded to day my thoughts make sense, he's away in his van surfing for the weekends with limited internet (bullshit) he'd Just been busy.

I don't believe him really, I think he's trying to keep me there as an option and I'm feeling a bit fragile about it all. Not because I'd fallen for him, just it could have been cool but ive realised although I keep saying I don't want a relationship, I actually do.

But I need an emotionally available man, and they seem to be ever elusive. I probably should take a break from tinder but it's occupying me atleast. Tearful and a bit meh today. Fucking hormones!

I've been chatting to a local guy, seems nice but if we meet it'll be taking things slow. Ive been too free with myself and feelings etc and feeling vulnerable doesn't sit comfortably at the moment!

Happy Sunday everyone

@Nelumbo yes! I match with people then it says they are 278km away??

Although I find POF dodgy on distance too, I had my limit set at 35 then 25 but had to decrease it to 15 as I was matching with people 90 minutes drive away??

Nelumbo I find that annoying with Tinder. I only swipe either late at night or early in the morning when they're most likely to be at home. No-one replies to messages on Tinder. I've got 5 matches and none of them has done anything. Frustrating!

pud . have a big hug from me. and

pudding love from me too, stupid emotional unavailable, sweetshop mentality men..
I’ve been tearful and meh for the last two weeks.. I know I’m a prize, I know I’m a good person but...
And today I’ve the ex coming over to discuss putting the house on the market such joy.
Fml

Love - next time he gets a msg from that girl in your presence, say something. It's not appropriate. Put your foot down now. But, inevitably you will have to trust him.
Pudd - I wouldn't waste any more headspace on him. You have another iron, find some more. Don't compromise on your needs and wants.
Tech - aww, that sucks but at least it's a step towards closure.

I stupidly tried to finish with MrWow on Friday. My Dad has a terminal illness and after spending the day with him, seeing him so frail left me in a mess. Spent the next day crying. I was such a mess I didn't realise MrWow wasn't a mind reader . He wasn't due to come over but after getting my crazy messages, he insisted. Everything came blurting out, about my Dad, about us. Poor bloke! He was lovely though and did his best to comfort me and reassure me. I feel like he has passed a test, although it certainly wasn't deliberate, iykwim. .

Mr Tinder has been here most the weekend, all going well apart from the fact it's almost 11am and he's still in bed. I sat in the garden enjoying the sun and feeling a bit annoyed. He's not a morning person, infact he's quite lazy. I have been up since 7am, tried to wake him several times and failed. He's hinted about staying over more often, I have said 'no'. He seems to be in a hurry and pretty smitten but I want to take things slow.

nelumbo i think they are using tinder plus which allows you to go to any location in the world. im not really sure what the point of that is, unless you’re trying to line up dates before a holiday or work trip.

pud sorry to hear that, MrFrench is a big dweeb.

third so sorry about your dad MrWow sounds like a great guy though

Big hugs to Pud and Third x. I don't know whether it's the sun but POF is busy for me - and two of them are local - yes!

Marking my place on new thread .
Is it just me or do men and probably women block for little or no reason . I've been messaging a guy for 2 days , my son turned up for breakfast and I had to go off line , returned an hour later - blocked . I had told him what was happening and we would speak later . Wtf . It's madness out there
Happy sunny Sunday everyone

third so sorry to hear about your Dad.

pud that's rubbish. At times likes this I just get back out there to distract myself.

tech I'm going through the exact same thing. It's not easy and I can't wait till it's all over.

Third date with Mr Academic last night. We went for drinks, dinner, more drinks and I...ahem....stayed the night!! Earlier in the evening we'd talked about DTD and agreed to wait. However it didn't quite pan out like that. But he still seems keen and keeps talking about the things we will do together. He's very lovely and very laid back, which I like. In the past I've dated people who are really full on and he's just not like that. He has promised he won't ghost me!

Hello all! Seems like you've all been getting up to lots of dates while I took a comfortable back seat for a few weeks. Exhausting business, this...

Anyway, I have found myself in a sticky situation (not the fun kind...I don't think). New colleague started at work about 2 months ago and from Day 1 I was totally crushing. Made friends, started texting a few weeks ago, lots of friendly teasing and banter back and forth that was just brilliant. Last week we ended up in the pub together after all our other workmates went home and...one thing led to another...

And the mooseburgers were fully raw on the inside, burned on the outside, dry, chewy, everything you don't want mooseburgers to be. He, I'm sure, had a bloody great time, but I was walking funny the next day...

However...I really bloody like this man. He is so funny, so good at the flirty banter, but he's kept it so professional at work which I'm grateful for, and he is so good looking. I can't help myself. I have really got it bad for him.

I have been texting him again this weekend and it seems like he is definitely up for another round. Is it crazy to try again? I'm hoping I can teach him how to...actually...touch me in a pleasant way...! For right now there's not relationship potential, but I seriously haven't had this bad of a crush in years...! I can't stop thinking about him. I'm like a teenager.

Sorry for the whole essay. Just a bit of a mindfuck really.

Woah that's a tricky one Nothing I get that you really like him and can see why, but there are two things, the fact you work together and more importantly, the fact he is crap in bed...minefield!
I may not be the best person to tell you what to do, but can at least tell you what not to do from personal experience, don't, whatever you do allude to his crapness in any way.
By all means take it slower and show him what you like, but when I mentioned someone's technique needed working on it was never going to ever be any good in future due to hurt feelings and awkwardness.
You probably don't need to be told this, I'm just a frank idiot but lesson learned here :)
Good luck, hope you work it out.

Smeaton lol come on it's been too long since one of your insightful messages to spur us on ..... Or shake some sense into us