Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Oh Choc, sounds good. Am a bit envious!

I think you've boxed yourself into a bit of a corner, with that approach wheely. Now it's difficult to go out with him.

I have one of those types around at the moment. I've just done my thing and let actions speak louder than words, men understand actions better.

He's taken me out 3 times since april. I go if I have nothing better to do but he's not a priority date. He now contacts me daily and has started making jokes about being my plus one to a wedding in the summer I have on. I just laugh and say maybe. I'm watching carefully. See what happens and how it unfolds.

Ones who say they want a relationship are not always honest. They all require careful handling to see what's what for quite a while, frankly.

Margo the downside is that if goes wrong he knows exactly where I work, eek!

My WA at moment:
Mr Ex(hints he wants FWB, I'm saying F only)
Mr Cute (trying to win me back)
Mr Tall (I have created fantasies in my head as fancied him IRL)

I also may have a date on Friday with a Mr teacher from pof. Just discussing.

Hmm, I managed to force it out of 4 hours walk guy that he's too lazy to do that. We're fundamentally incompatible then, I like a good trot. Back to just being friends :)

Mr Travel who spent all night Tuesday pursuing me now can't see me. At all. Ever.

FFS.

butterflies sorry it's quite a long thread, do you mean he's become non-communitative

No @LanguidLobster , I asked outright if he wanted to meet as per his original request and he's made excuses to say no.

Another one bites the dust...

Morning daters. Quick update from me.

Mr French has almost bitten the dust, he has some weird skin/medical condition that he won't tell me what it is but is asking for advice (I'm a nurse). i can only think its sexually transmitted hence he won't tell me. We did use protection of course but its made me think on. I really have lost all but a tiny bit of interest in him.

I have a new potential guy, lets call him Mr Longboard. He is a longboard skater and dancer as he calls it (as a hobby). I have checked out some of his videos and he moves like a ballet dancer. Funny, tall, respectful, also has a harley. Seems keen, wants to try teach me to skateboard (I am clumsier than Bridget Jones), take me for a ride on his bike and for sushi. He is the first guy I have spoken to in months who actually suggested something to do and is willing to make the effort to do so. When this will happen I don't know but watch this space. He also wants to take me to a roller disco (I used to roller skate as a teen).

Ex FWB (who I suppose is now not an ex but active again) and I have started seeing each other again, not like before, at my pace, when I want, and I am cool with it. Last time I saw him it was really nice, I like his company a lot and well the sex was always off the scale.

Just a repeat warning for people who trust easily: yesterday got chatting to a nice looking friendly guy. He had instagram linked to tinder. No evidence of a wife or children on instagram. But the idiot had his full name on there so a quick facebook search showed he is indeed married with a new born baby. WTF! Anyway, he has been binned. I wish I didn't feel I have too, and i don't do it for everyone, just when my instinct tells me its not quite right. Anyway, research!! If it feels off it probably is.

butterflies oops I meant communicative

Yeah I guess if he's not making the effort he's not worth it.

Sorry pudding, yikes. Well ducked.

I was speaking to my mother about the one who refused to walk 4 hours earlier (she knows him) and she asked how old he is and I said 30, she said lazy little sod. My thoughts precisely.

Would this annoy you?
Tinder match, we exchange a few pleasantries and I happen to mention that I was out in the sunshine today.
He replies "Bikini on?"

I haven't replied yet because I don't like that sort of comment from someone I don't know. But am I just being over-sensitive?

Runs I was going to say yes at first but praps not, just clumsy.

Pudding I'm not sure how Mr French is holding on to your attention. Is it the draw of a bad boy? you can do better go roller skating

Runs I would just reply "no", I'm not keen on getting drawn into sexting or similar too early. Most men would then cool it down.

I have a date soon, really nervous so ate lots and will now be tired. When will I learn?!

Languid I would love to meet a man who would walk 4 hours with me, preferably on a coastal track and picnic midway.

Enjoy your date choc

runs I would roll my eyes and walk away from that personally, but that’s just me.

choc actually I'm going to do it myself tomorrow starting off at 4am

I'm still seeing guy, but he'd better up the ante next time we meet. Although no long walks though if he's that adverse to them.

Languid enjoy your walk. A 4am start is a bit early even for me!

choc hope the date goes well.

I've ignored the "bikini" comment and asked a question about where he lives instead. His response should tell me if it was a clumsy comment or an attempt to start sexting

choc he's gorgeous. And yeah a bad boy streak in him. Mother fucker. I know he is a grade A idiot, but I also see something in him I like ;) But I am not disallousioned anymore to think it could be something, he might remain an interesting friend. We have a lot in common also. Haven't heard from skater boy today, I am trying to take the advice up thread and not message at all. I'm too friendly, but I find if I atleast don't initiate some attention they disappear (maybe they feel i am not interested??). Anyway.

Runs It wouldn't bother me personally, but if it bothered you its what counts.

Oh if anyone remembers Mr Brazilian ever so patient surfer he messaged me at the weekend to say how sad he was he never got to show me his penis. Then proceeded to send me a picture of said penis. He is now overseas so I guess he felt there was no way we would ever meet. He seemed so sweet and innocent!

4am!!!! You are hardcore Languid!

Runs, I know what you mean about the bikini question. I think ignoring was a good move.

I have a coffee date tomorrow with Mr Shiny. Think I’m not going to fancy him we’ll see!

Ok.

The key really is to be very interested when they contact you. Be obvious- I literally say every time they start a conversation 'so great to hear from you' or 'thank you for your message' or something cheesy along those lines. Then end with been great to hear from you thanks for calling yada yada yada. But I never ever start a conversation or initiate one. Friendly happy interested vibe. Not chasey.

If they disappear, they disappear. Only by not being chasey and invested you aren't in the position where they have either

A. Turned you down for a date
B. Not replied to a conversation you started

The anxious 'shit should I have said done asked that' disappears.

It makes a lot of difference.

Be ready at the start of this for a week to go by before you hear back. When OLD at least. RL bit different but still be prepared for a wait at the start before they get going. Literally sit on your hands. Do not text or call or ask or do anything!

Be happy and interested when you hear from them. But patience patience patience.

pudding lol at Mr Brazilian!

Margo why don't you think you'll fancy Mr Shiny? Hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Mr Bikini Question answered my question about where he lives with one word. I followed that up with a comment and another question, which he also answered with one word.
I'm done now. Either he wanted to talk about my bikini wearing or he's rubbish at messaging. But I'm not chasing him to find out.

The above obviously applies once they've asked for your number.

I still approach men I like OLD but I don't do asking for numbers or dates after the conversation has begun. I let them do that part. All of it.

Then sit right back.

He looks too shiny Runs. Maybe he’ll be better in the flesh.

Mr Bikini sounds annoying now. Time to move on I think.

I think I may need to up my enthusiasm when I’m contacted. I don’t do any of the ‘great to hear from you stuff’.

Margo I'm trying to picture how Mr Shiny can look too shiny. I hope it's just bad photos.

Mr Bikini wants to know what his birthday present is, as it's his birthday tomorrow. So I'm playing dumb and asking him if he has anything special planned.

Runs, are you seeing Mr Bikini for his birthday tomorrow, or is that just banter about a prezzie?

Margo I've only exchanged a few messages with him. I suspect the "present" comment was similar to the bikini one - trying to get into the flirty/sexy banter. He's gone quiet now. I think I might find myself unmatched soon.

Tell him you’ll get him a mankini!!!