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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Cancelled date 30 minutes before..feel like crying

265 replies

Poppa445 · 22/04/2018 13:26

Been texting for 3 weeks ...
Arranged to meet today for a drink at quarter 2.
I got the train to his city (50 min train)
Literally got off the train and he has text
“My dad has been taken in hospital,can we re arrange?”
£18 train and 50 min journey
Feel like crying

OP posts:
privateporcupine · 22/04/2018 14:05

Oh, OP Sad

NetVolume · 22/04/2018 14:06

I always think that people like that are trying to see how much of a pushover you are.

Years ago I had a guy cancel 15 mins before our planned date , I was sitting on the bus on my way to meet him. Something about his mum and hospital.

The next day he was texting constantly and asking if he could take me out for dinner , I said no as (as I had already told him) I was going to the cinema with my friend.

I reluctantantly agreed to a swift drink over the next weekend , he was utterly tedious! Talked about how.hr and his mates loved to drink and eluded to them also doing coke. He didn't mention his mum once and looked a bit confused when I asked how she was. I made my excuses and left early.

That night while I was sleeping he sent me about 12 texts saying how hot I was and how he couldn't wait to see me. He had also texted many times that morning apologising for his drunk texts.

I didn't see him again. Weirdo.

Basically op, you've dodged a bullet there.

I hope you're having a good day todaySmile

MayFayner · 22/04/2018 14:06

No to all of this.

HollowTalk · 22/04/2018 14:07

So which is to be - hospital or new shoes? He's forgetting his own lies!

Good luck with this one, OP. He sounds like he's covered in red flags.

motorpink · 22/04/2018 14:07

Might as well meet him and spend an hour with him

Fuck NO

NO NO NO NO NO

DONT DO IT!!

You haven't even met yet and he is playing you like a fool

NetVolume · 22/04/2018 14:08

Oh , I see that you might meet him.

Be careful.

Squeegle · 22/04/2018 14:08

It’s a bit flakey! No harm in meeting him but he does seem a bit indecisive !?!

gamerchick · 22/04/2018 14:08

Sounds like he wasn’t expecting to have enough his child today so wanted to fob you off then changed his mind.

Don’t pay for the shoes Wink

MistressDeeCee · 22/04/2018 14:09

Yes it's always that they or a family member are ill. Cold feet or can't get away from who they're already with excuses. It hardly ever varies.

He'd have made you cry a lot more if you'd got to know him. Sorry for the waste of time and money but at least you can block and move on now. Lucky escape.

Gemini69 · 22/04/2018 14:14

good luck OP.. let us know how you get on Flowers

minimalpatience · 22/04/2018 14:14

If you do meet him don't bloody pay. It is the least he can do!

JesusTapdancingChrist · 22/04/2018 14:16

Oh dear OP.

lostinjapan · 22/04/2018 14:18

I wouldn't have gone to meet him, it sounds like he's messing you around. I'd have just spent a nice day sightseeing and shopping on my own, so it wasn't a wasted journey.

BettyPitts · 22/04/2018 14:21

No!

HomeSweetChocolate · 22/04/2018 14:22

Crikey well it's obvious how this one will end

MrsAJ27 · 22/04/2018 14:23

Wtf? He's a joke!

StellaHeyStella · 22/04/2018 14:23

I have to confess op that I'd have gone to meet him too, if nothing else but to satisfy my curiosity after travelling all that way.

Doesn't mean you can't still run for the hills.

MissMary0fSweden · 22/04/2018 14:24

Read his texts back to yourself.

You've spent time and money to meet him and he was going to brush you off, only now he has to nip to town anyway because he needs a shopping trip.

Rather you than me mate.

lubeybooby · 22/04/2018 14:25

OP

at very best he couldnt be arsed then realised he had to go into town anyway so may as well while he's there

go shopping buy yourself something nice then go home. Don't meet him

I started the original dating thread and one of the rules was 'remember you are the prize'

I'd like the explain that rule - it's not that you are more important than them, just that it's up to them to have the self-esteem to remember they are also the prize

What IS your responsibility is having the self-esteem to remember you are the prize, what I mean here specifically in your situation is - you've gone to a lot of effort going to his city, you were thinking of him, excited, being considerate

he's putting in no effort/afterthought and was not thinking of you or excited

Do not accept it! Do not!

abilockhart · 22/04/2018 14:27

He’s just text saying
Actually I need to get my daughter some new shoes for tomorrow so I will have to pop into town.

It sounds like he had difficulty leaving the house but has now come up with an excuse for his wife.

crimsonlake · 22/04/2018 14:27

Well you are the fool then, are you really that desperate for a man?

Dimael · 22/04/2018 14:27

I think this guy got scared and chickened out. He realised what he had done and tried to re-arrange. Put it down to nerves but he comes to you next time!!

keepingbees · 22/04/2018 14:27

Surely he would have known you were travelling to see him and that you'd already be there/on your way 15 minutes beforehand!

Sounds like you were double booked and he cancelled the wrong date. One minute he has to rush to his dad bedside (oldest excuse in the book btw) and the next he needs to go town for shoes!? Sorry I'd be on the first train home.

Purplerain101 · 22/04/2018 14:28

He sounds like a plonker.
His dad’s been rushed to hospital yet he can still find time to take his daughter out for new shoes?! He’s clearly lying about everything and probably just couldn’t be bothered to go on the date with you and has had a pang of guilt so is now meeting you briefly.
He would have to tick a million boxes on the date for me to bother with him again

TheParisofPeople · 22/04/2018 14:29

Honey no, why are you acting like a mug from the get-go? Do not meet this man!