Oh fucking shit. My Dad has accidentally sent me an email revealing that he is paying for sex.

[namechangedforethicaldilemma]

My Dad has been married to my step-mum for quite a few years, she is lovely, I really like her. My Dad originally split from my Mum when I was tiny because he cheated on her.

I'm borrowing my dad's holiday home next week, so he has been forwarding me emails between himself and the hire car provider as he has organised it with a guy he knows. He has accidentally forwarded me a thread between himself and a 21 year old (vom. I'm 34) where they discuss meeting for sex and money being exchanged.

What in the name of holy fuck do I do now? I'm fucking shaking.

But the OP is close to her stepmum, so she will find it impossible not to worry about the fact that she's potentially being exposed to STIs. Forget the fact that this is her stepmum, she's also a friend. Would you really, in all good conscience, be able to turn a blind eye to it?

I actually find it hard to imagine that she would be able to forget what she's seen, it will change the way she views her DF, and she won't be able to look her stepmum in the eye. Maybe some of you are able to do that, but not all of us can.

@MrsGloop

So by taking your logic a small step further, if the Op's Dad had been e - mailing under age girls for sex and effectively grooming them, then that would be O.K. and would still not be thecOp's business !?

A high percentage of sex workers whatever their sex or sexuality are drug users and along with that comes stuff like HIV, gonerhea, syphilis, Hep, etc, etc......

None of Op's business if her Dad infects himself, his wife, other young woman......

Wtf !?

Fuck

Ide have to tell the step-mom. Wouldn't even be able go chat with the dad in neutral envirment. Or anywhere. Ever again

You can't unknow it....

What if SM finds out later, challenges your Dad and to be hurtful and to defend himself, he says you knew.....?

Sadly, married men paying for sex is more common than I ever imagined (I now realise). In every case their wives deserve to be given the chance to get out of the marriage and to get themselves tested for an STI. Without exception.

It’s not a case is being a ‘cool wife’, it’s accepting that the relationships are different.

I have some fantastic male friends but would I want a relationship with them?
Fuck no! They would be crap partners

Op's Dad is a crap partner.....

And some of his shitty karma will seep into his role as a father and a grandfather......

Op, if he's fucking women as young as you, and younger, what do you think might running through his mind and sexual psyche.......

Not a great human being at all.

Just saying.

serialcheat but your scenario is not “stretching my logic a bit further”, is it? It’s changing the entire premise on which this dilemma is based. The woman in question is just that - a 21 year old woman. Not underage. If I thought for one second that an adult was sexually exploiting a child, I’d be calling the police! There is nothing in the OP to suggest that this is the case. Same with regard to drugs, disease and trafficking. OP has not said anything to suggest that this woman is being exploited (unless you believe that the fact that she appears to be selling sex means she’s being exploited. For what it’s worth, I don’t.)

None of your business. Regardless of age gap, the female in question is far from underage...and he's your dad.
Ignore it and try to forget. If you really can't let it pass, discuss it with him, although the very thought of having that conversation with one of my own parents would send shivers down my spine.
Some situations are just not worth the fallout. Especially if you have a loving relationship with him otherwise.

I think you should forward it back to him and write does your wife know. If I'm honest it's so hard to do the right thing sometimes and you could ignore it but really and truly it's not nice on your step mum. If you were the wife and your husband did this what would you like to know?

Good luck op hope you take the right step x

@MrsGloop

Sorry, find your logic a bit like a sponge, full of holes and doesn't hold water.

Maybe I should have used the word ' extrapolate ' instead of stretch.

So what age is a woman to be if she's not to be exploited by a wealthy ' 60 - 70 ' man !? 21, 18, 17, 15, 91 !?

And I'm guessing not many socioeconomic well adjusted 21 year olds let a 60 year old man shag them.......

Op should delete and forget !? Are you trolling ?
Once she read that e - mail, she became part of the sleezy dynamic created by the illicit and contemptible actions of her father......

Maybe we shouldn't bomb Assad's chemical facilities, because women and children bring gassed to death, really isn't our concern and we in the west should just delete the news and just forget it.

For the most part, people turn to prostitution because they are beyond desperate. It's not my opinion, statically prostitution is clearly linked to crime, drugs and exploitation and worse.

You are entitled to your view and I will defend your right to say it, ( supposedly we live in a free country ).

But personally, I think your advice, opinion and logic, suck !!!

Your dad is a sleaze. And as long as ppl keep their sleazy secrets for them, mm will continue to be able to cheat on their wives (or LTP). I assume all the people on here saying to delete the email/it's none of OP's business would be happy if their friends and family knew they were being cheated on and didn't tell them?? Ffs.

I clearly stated in my first postings, at the very least, the Op should at least let her Father know, she's received the e - mail.

That is the very least a decent and moral person would do.

As is your prerogative, serialcheat 🙄

@MrsGloop

I am presuming you are a woman. If your partner stuck his dick into a 21 year old prostitute, and your best friend knew, along your line of thinking, your best friend should butt out because your partners sex life is none of her business......

Or maybe you don't give a fuck where your partner sticks his dick or into whom 😗

Just wondering !?

It's her dad. Not a friend. Not a colleague. Not a stranger.
Our moral compasses must be so skewed to have feelings that strong for a parent that we are unwilling to out them under such circumstances.
Such bad people we must be.

I think I'd write to my dad that the truth has a funny way of making itself known and that I'm disappointed to learn that this is part of his character. If he can't respect women generally then at least could he respect his wife, who you care for, enough to give her the opportunity to make a fully informed decision about whether she wishes to be in the relationship in light of this. Assuming she doesn't know, of course.

It's not your place to get involved with issues that your dad has in the context of relationships, but unfortunately it can't be unseen. Been there myself (he left an email open on my computer which revealed an affair when I was a teenager) and it isn't nice - you probably resent now being involved, albeit indirectly. Makes it all the worse that it involves paying for sex with a young woman. Agree with pp that this is a lot more common that we like to think but I digress.

Good luck op!

Our moral compasses must be so skewed to have feelings that strong for a parent that we are unwilling to out them under such circumstances
Oh, you're so right. Being a family member means we should accept any old shit behaviour. After all, some ppl would even cover up actual crimes for family. Cause, you know, bloods thicker than water and all that.

What PatchworkWomble said.
Exactly that

So, our moral compasses are screwed if we refuse to cover up vile acts which put other people at risk? But if we decide to stay quiet because the perpetrator is blood then our moral compasses are all very rickety boo?

Depressing to think some people feel like this.

Tickety boo