He has ended it.

[VeganAsia]

I have had to name change for this one.

After a week of disappearing, he has said that he no longer wants to be with me, because I don’t make him happy.

(There is a little bit of a back story) I will be honest I am hurt by him telling me this. He has also said that DS6 and I will have to move out of the house because he wants to sell it ASAP. He has told me to find an apartment and he will pay the rent for me.

I don’t have many people in real life that I would feel comfortable discussing this with, I guess it is because I am embarrassed.

No £1000, a week we live near central London, so as you can imagine the cost of living is pretty high.

I'm going to assume he's met someone else and will say anything to move you along out of his life. You've already moved out which I completely understand. I think you've got some horrible shocks coming. I'm sorry 😓

Onemansoapopera I do agree with you, and I’m scared he not long ago texted saying he will pick DS from school tomorrow and have it at home until Thursday, I am NOT going to allow him I don’t trust him enough to do that!

DS was crying in school today and wouldn’t tell anyone what was wrong, now I am worried they may call social services as he has never cried in school before.

They absolutely wont call SS but they may get you both in to ask if everything is ok.

I know everything feels up in the air and daunting at the moment but the fog will clear soon enough and you'll be able to see which was is forward.

Maybe I am just being paranoid, sorry. I don’t know whether he is at home right now, as I want to go and get DS’ passport!

There's no way on earth he is going to continue indefinite payments of £1k a week! Especially when a new girlfriend comes on the scene!
Wake up Vegan

BasilTheCat - I asked him tonight if he has got someone else, he said he would never have left me for someone else and that he just isn’t happy and doesn’t want another relationship with anyone and just wants to be alone. We haven’t been good for a while now so I can accept that it is coming to an end. I have also agreed to let him have DS until Thursday, which is stupid but before bed DS told me that he wants to see dad.

I know he will keep up the rent payments, I am not being naive £1k is very little to him.

People who leave for someone else rarely, if ever, admit it op.

Come on, you've read enough threads on mn to know that.

Very few people leave otherwise fine relationships without somewhere to go.

You need to wake up and smell the coffee. Do not trust this man to have either been faithful or to be financially reliable going forward

Just stay in your home, don’t go anywhere

He can text all he likes but let him evict you if he wants you out

If he text just use the standard frase

We’ ll see

RTFT. She's already left.

Well that’s silly

Vegan. My ex husband is a multi millionaire. When we split (I left him) I didnt take anything and asked for nothing other than a home to live in (a small semi-detached, our marital home was massive and not cosy) and child maintenance. Nothing more. Of course, he snapped my hand off. He bought the house. He pays court ordered maintenance. He was very helpful and agreeable - until he got into a new relationship. Now despite his millions, getting anything other than the court ordered maintenance is like getting blood out of stone. He does not look after his DD and takes no parental responsibility for her. Any extra expenses ie school trips he will not contribute to. As rich as he is, he did not get that way being kind. He pays because he's court ordered to and the day that ends so will any financial input from him. You don't even have that. He's kept you sweet and got you out. I hope you're right but if you're not at least you can support yourself. You have more faith in him than any of us do.

Also. "Wanting to be alone" actually means "want to be free to meet someone else" and more often than not with men "already have". Forewarned is forearmed.

BitOutOfPractice The relationship wasn’t fine, it hadn’t been fine for a while. If he had someone else he would tell me.

Every woman who's ever been left because their partner 'just wanted to be alone' will disagree with you OP, but that's not really important. The main thing is, where you go from here.

If you have OCD and MH Issues I'd be very concerned as to his claim about leaving his son with you 'to have a better life'. Surely you would be better as a family with his support rather than without it?

I would make sure you get your sons passport back from the house before he has contact again.

My worry for you is that he'll keep your son at the house and refuse to hand him back to you. That way he doesn't need to pay you £1000 a month for rent, or maintenance.

Be careful and please go and see a solicitor today. Now is not the time to be concerned about embarrassment or privacy.

You need to see him as your worst enemy now rather than partner.
He has the ability to destroy you completely.

You are ignoring all the advice you are being given here.

You need to see a solicitor.

You need to a proper financial agreement signed.

You need to sort access to DS.

You cannot do this without legal advice.

Sorry this has happened, but you need to protect yourself and your son financially. Please the helpful comments that people are posting on board. Good luck

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy - I am not ignoring, I am very grateful for all the advice given. I am just not going to go and see a solicitor. I have a viewing for a new apartment on Thursday.

I have agreed to him collecting DS today from school and keeping him until Thursday, I am very anxious I haven’t even been able to eat anything today but DS went to school happy this morning and that’s all that matters, sometimes I feel as if he better of without me.

I should have listened to you all.

I called him because I wanted to speak to DS (I don’t see the wrong in that, I just wanted to see if he was ok and had a good day at school)

He wouldn’t answer the phone he texted “what’s wrong” I said I wanted to speak to DS to see if he is ok. He answered “This is why me and you don’t get along he’s fine, don’t text or call again”

I would never ever stop him from speaking to DS on the phone, now I am thinking what if he decides to keep him for longer.

I feel as if he is trying to push me into a break down so I won’t be able to look after DS.

He has someone else. He is trying to completely delete you from his life. You simply cannot trust him at all. He is a lying twat. I would go and collect your son from school tomorrow. I'd walk in there and make out that he has an appointment.

contact a solicitor now. Time to take control and stop waiting for handouts that might stop any time. And more importantly protect DS from him using as a pawn. Are you afraid of him or worried that he will try and stop you from having DS?

OP. Please let the school know what is going on. They prefer to be fully informed so that they can support the children in their care.

Also, as suggested many times, get yourself to a solicitor asap. Money may not be an issue now, but that could change. You need legal documentation regarding rent, maintenance, contact etc.

A decent man would NOT stop you from contacting your child.

I also agree that there may be somebody else. I never thought that my XH would do that to me, but he did. It happens all the time to unsuspecting people.

He's making the lines of segregation between you and him very clear, they always do. Expect it to accelerate quickly now OP

I am going to go and collect DS from school early, I will text him once I have collected DS.

I will be going to a solicitor tomorrow, and I am also going to have to stop contact and go through the courts, I have tried to be civilised with him as you can see by what I’ve told you all. I am not going to allow him to do this to me, I’d never ever stop him from speaking to DS on the phone. I don’t know why he is behaving like this actually I think I do, I haven’t told the full story.

Me and him have exactly the same phone - he took my phone out instead of his, an ex of mine had been harassing me for a few weeks (you are probably thinking how he got my number - my mum and his mum are best friends, we were together for just over a year then we split up, this was 10 years ago - he got my number from my mum, you are now probably thinking why would she do that, we never told anyone about our relationship, so why wouldn’t she give him my number? He also is in a relationship with two kids)

He called when ex DP when he had my phone and said when I’m not with him I am with him (he probably said other things, but that’s all ex DP told me) The only time I leave the house is take and collect DS from school.

Sounds as though the issue with your ex is just a convenient excuse to break-up with you. Either way, that doesn’t really change anything - you still need to protect yourself and your son from him and don’t trust a word he says.
Have you picked up your sons passport yet?

iloveruby - No because I haven’t been back to the house, I’m at my mums house at the moment.

My son is probably wondering why I haven’t called to speak to him.