Bring on the Spring Flings. It's Dating Thread 132!

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

ignoring I agree - the conversation here is much better! I couldn't survive OLD without this thread.

Just checking in to.say hello and catching up with all your shenanigans :)

i am in exactly the same rut that I get into in every relationship, every OLD in that I work full time, have the kids full time and then struggle to find time to fit in someone who has the same circumstances as me.

So the different options end up being

1. See someone who doesn't have kids and eventually they get pissed off with you as you don't have enough time compared to the time they have
2. See someone who has kids but doesn't have them resident and go back to option1 as eventually they have much more time than you do so they start getting antsy
3. See someone with kids at home and then both of you are time restrained and it takes ages for any relationship to start

argh

Well last night on Pof I was approached by a girl- hi my fiend is here with me and thinks you're gorgeous can he have your number?

That's a new one I haven't experienced before!

But an honest question- I'm looking at men anywhere 30 upwards being mid 30s myself but why do so many of them live at home with their parents?? I find that really off putting. I can manage to own my home while being a single parent why do these men all live at home?? Or does that make me really shallow?

Daffodeffo I have struggled with the same thing. I have a 9 year old and with the past 2 relationships, when things became serious and started to do more things with the kids, it sadly didn't work out.
It is always tricky with kids involved.
I know for me I would like to meet someone with kids. I dated someone with not kids and I just couldn't see a future together as I was getting closer to the point of not wanting another child of my own.
I also wouldnt date anyone with more than 2 kids. Again, I have dated someone with more kids in the past but the chance of living together was very slim.
I know what I am looking for will limit my options but I am very happy at the moment and willing to wait that bit longer to meet someone.

FannyFreeloader

So me and Mr Writer have moved to email. He sends lovely long emails, lots of detail and interesting conversation. He is a writer after all. Today he has emailed me all the things he enjoys doing and is talking about things we can do together. We've never met!!

We did have a conversation about not wanting anything serious and his profile mentions making friends as well as finding a gf. I've gone back with "this is all great, IF we decide we like each other",

This is a bit of a red flag to me. I wonder if he's a bit intense? Or maybe I'm over reacting. I've made it very clear I want nothing serious. And he said he's the same. His messages are always long and detailed, so maybe this is just him?

it sounds a bit intense tom.

a few men who messaged me said they now avoided long messaging with women before they had met as they felt it was a waste of time as so much is on the meeting rather than the words (which is so true). I think you need to move it along to a meeting otherwise you start getting emotionally attached before you've even seen if there's any chemistry whatsoever. I respect that position now I have to say - I am someone who can easily write a lot but i now can see that it's a false connection in a way.

I had some quite intense messaging with someone who told me so much about himself but when I met it was a nightmare. So i've tried to avoid making that mistake again.

penny1ane I know what you mean and it is a personal decision. I'm unlikely to date someone who hasn't got children again, it just didn't work out. But if this one with the dcs doesn't work out, then goodness knows where I go from there!

Thanks daffo I do agree. We have said we will meet but we are both away over the next few weeks. I've got someone else who sends really long messages and we will never meet. It is great as you talk about loads, but it's not the same as real life. I've been here before and meeting was a huge disappointment.

A big bit of me thinks about just walking away....but I think I'm just in a bad mood today!

smeaton Thank you. I do have a tendency to over-analyse. I'm having a couple of bad days at work and I think I'm just a miserable moo.

I do worry about long messages, but he admits he goes on a lot. As I said, he's a writer it's what he does!

He does seem lovely and we do plan to meet. He knows what I'm looking for too. I'm just so cautious sometimes!

Anyone ever heard of or used Muddy Matches? My niece suggested I join up. Its not an OLD one I know.

Jax I’m pretty sure Vet has mentioned it. And maybe Runs too? Considering how much I love the country maybe I should. I seem to remember traffic was slow, though.....(ha, maybe it’s the horse boxes)

What a glorious day; I’m full of the joys of spring/sap rising etc. so I should probably at least nod in the direction of trying to get laid before I’m 50. But I binned of POF and Match (with active subscriptions) precisely because there’s no way on God’s green earth I’d shag anyone there that was showing an interest.
Tinder made me want to kill myself, OKC was perv central last time I was on there and GSM was an expensive waste of time.

I think I might go on Bumble with a new photo, pretend I’m 42 and at least get some sexting action. Although that’s a royally depressing thought too.....

I’m moving Cynics Corner out into the sun though: Smeaton have we got a patio? Some decking?

classy outdoors Smeaton

Jax my friend went on a few dates on Muddy Matches then met someone RL. She thought it was ok. She seemed to think it was a well known reputable site.

Still not active at all on OLD. Ghoster eventually came back and said sorry he had been away and that he wanted to meet up again. After 2 weeks ! :) since then surprise surprise nothing.

One possible RL possibility but not sure what happening there.

But having a good time socially and the sun is out and its a gorgeous day. So quite content at the moment :)

can i just say i love this thread. ive been a chronic cancelled/avoider in life. i always back out at the last minute. ive also never really embraced my sexual side. ive been all about “love” and “the one” and basically putting up with shit because “i love them”

when i feel a wobble with regards to my ex, or seeing a new iron, i come on this thread and read what everyone is getting up to it reminds me that we’re all in the same boat really.

we all have different attitudes and approaches i guess. pudding in my head
is my mentor when it comes to this dating malarky, but you’re all fab

god whats wrong with me, am i dating the thread?

should say chronic canceller

MrF text me saying we wont be getting much sleep tonight, and part of me wanted to cancel and hide, for no reason!

esk1mo pahahahaha! I'm shit at all this, but thanks for the kind words. OLD mentor ;)

Enjoy Mr F. Don't cancel!

I have all but abandoned tinder for now, I can't be arsed at the moment with chatting to different people especially while Mr French is doing such a good job. Still waiting on him to confirm which day we will meet over the weekend but he has implied his apartment is free all weekend as his house mates (he is living in temporary work air bnb accommodation) are not around.

I just had a bit of an argument with Mr A on the phone, I am so pleased I backed off from him now, his ego is way bigger than I can cope with I think (although he is deliciously gorgeous). There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, now I am seeing he is probably more arrogant than I thought initially. Plus its taken him nearly 4 months to come up with the goods, so that has infuriated me.

Jax a woman at school just moved in with someone from Muddy Matches. I have had a quick look and it looks good but I work in a muddy based industry and got the horrors I would bump into one at work so bailed

I've had a weird one on Match "Hi are you free for a coffee this week? If I'm not your type my younger mate really has a thing for you too"

WTF, he's already 8 yrs younger than me, let alone some random "mate".

I try Muddy Matches on and off as I still haven't given up on the dream of marrying a rich farmer but so far it's been very slim pickings down here and I haven't seen anyone at all worth paying the subscription for. Disappointing considering I'm in West-Country-bumpkin central but there you go.

Haha, I quite like the idea of a muddy match! A bit over city living but am not that social as it is so putting off a move to the country for now.

No real luck with OLD, but admittedly I'm not trying that hard. How else do you meet people? My work is very female based and they all have families and children so we don't really do nights out and the majority of my friends are engaged or married.

Loving this weather and the hopefulness of Spring. By this time tomorrow I'll be jaded again....

Smeaton frankly that’s disappointing and I deserve better. Much like my matches on OLD. How apt

Esk no, you’re utilising the thread. It’s what it’s here for, use us

I will keep muddy in mind but Im doing ok for now... I think.