Bring on the Spring Flings. It's Dating Thread 132!

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

That's a shame. It's a good way of having a sneaky check on him

I am doing another date with MrG this week. We have still not done anything more than kiss which is fine, but I am hoping it will move just sliiiiiightly further forward. He is coming round to mine and the kids are not going to be there so we'll see. It's funny at this point - I always find this is the point where it either works and you move forward, or it stalls and ends.

I think Smeaton's edits are brilliant pink and I'd agree with every one of them

slightly worried that silver is on a plane to Hotel California with loverboy!

was just thinking we havent heard from silver

CarrotyO - I'm nearing that point myself. As much as I like this guy I'm growing tired of this hot/ cold rubbish. I know I want and serve more. Guess I'm just scared of putting myself out there and actually trying.

Good work Smeaton! I might ask you to check mine if ever I actually get that far!

I too wonder about having kids being off putting? It's hardly unusual nowadays so although it's not for everyone I'm still hopeful.

• deserve

Costa, I do think it's how you display it. I realise you don't need to say much about them. After all, it's you they are dating! As long as you say you have them in your profile, I don't think you need to say much more.

Hiya, have been lurking for a while trying to pluck up the courage to join in here, hope you don't mind.
I'm older than many of you and my adult DD uses MN so didn't want to in case she reads it but...
Anyway I've been single since summer 2015 after an EA marriage. Had a brief fling with an old flame some months after and then nothing until a few weeks ago. Bumped into someone from about 20 years ago who used to be local, we were always very flirty but it never went beyond kissing for reasons I can no longer remember and then I met exh. Wasn't going to give him my number but then thought sod it, knowing where it was likely to end up, both made it clear that he was not BF material and all seemed ok. Had several weeks of truly amazing sex but he's now turned flaky and I'm not chasing, I've no idea if/when he will be in contact. No regrets even if he doesn't but it's made me realise that I've missed male company.

I have toyed with the idea of OLD for a while and got as far as signing up to Guardian Soulmates but I've not created a profile or anything. I'm utterly clueless, don't do social media at all but know I'll never meet anyone living as I do- live and work in London but in an all female environment with most of them younger than DD!

Tell me to bog off if a nearly 52 year old grandmother is beyond help here (I'm about 30 in my head!) but if you've got any pointers as to which sites to avoid etc I'd be grateful

DaffoDeffo - I think you're absolutely right. And obviously depends on who you meet: if they know up front they can take it or leave it!

marriednotdead - good for you for going for things with your old acquaintance!! Sorry things have gone quiet. I always get so disappointed at that part. No advice I'm afraid re OLD as not yet been brave enough to dip my toes either but people will be along with some great tips shortly!

“Night gorgeous” guy gave me his number so we could whatsapp. I’ve just checked his tinder profile and he’s added 2 new pictures and he looks completely different :( older and not attractive. His other pics were at a distance, maybe taken years ago. Eugh. I’ve gone off him now.

Shouldn’t have let my mr flakey go he is actually gorgeous.

Checking in, sod all to report; no plans to reinstate OLD, but ask me again in a couple of weeks when blind hope outweighs bitter experience and I’m even more gagging than I am now. Were that possible.

Also sod all to report. I'm vaguely poking at OLD with a pointy stick, and it quivers occasionally, farts in my general direction, and then goes back to being shit.

married welcome to the thread, there are people on here older than you, younger than you, grandmothers and people with no kids. We take all comers.

I've never heard anything good about GSM, I think you have to be in a major city to have any traffic on it, otherwise everyone who looks vaguely okay is 100 miles away.

Choice of site is really down to what you're looking for. If you're into exploring your fetishistic side then there's OK Cupid. If you're patient enough to put up with terrible grammar and facial tattoos, then there's POF. If you want to dress up like a squirrel for dates, then there's furrydating.com.

I'm not even joking about the last one.

You can always find some guy for a quick bunk up if you want, the question is, what do you miss about male company? Someone to put the bins out, someone to watch a film with or someone to fumble with?

Thanks for the warm welcome, not sure whether to be pleased or frustrated to find so many others still looking for someone special at this age... mind you, the adage 'better on the shelf than in the wrong cupboard' comes to mind, especially after my marriage!

Well I think I'll pass on those ones then Bant
Thought provoking question. I miss someone to go out and explore the world with, chat about trivia or important stuff. And I miss sexual intimacy, which I had got used to not having but now crave more than ever... on a bad day I feel I have little to offer as I rent and earn barely enough to cover my bills. I'm not materialistic (good thing!) but enjoy life regardless. I don't smoke or drink alcohol and don't want anyone that does either. Suspect I may end up on the picky madam shelf.

Welcome Married - it's ok I'm 60 and a nanny x3 - as Bant said there are a wonderful mixture of people on here. Just got back from Ireland - had a couple of lovely matches on tinder whilst there! Too bad I don't live nearer.

Anyone else's tinder crashed today? It kicked me out for a few hours and wouldn't connect and now I'm back in all my matches are gone 😩 My fire is now empty as Pof is dire at the moment. Well at least it's a clear out and we'll see what comes up tonight after my massive swipe fest!

Thanks Val, good to hear. What age range is considered reasonable? It's such a bloody minefield. Don't want anyone retired but seem to be past the point where a toyboy appeals, does that mean I'm a grown up
I'll probably add Tinder to my nope list- DS(21) says he's on there somewhere and he's not keen on the idea of me OLD as it is

JPony mine did that earlier but I logged out and back in and they all reappeared

Yes mine have all disappeared after a crash too

Hello didn't know there was a new thread I've been looking for it. I'm not dead or sold into human trafficking yet. Thank you for the advice!

So as for (Can't remember my names but I think!) MrLoco the hotel thing. I sort of want to not see him or get him to back it off to a quick drink but don't know how. Have had to shoot him down a few times as he's got too forward on text. Argh.

The other I'm still speaking to andmay be seeing this weekend, he is fairly rude but has also been quite genuine in the chats. I re read the messages from the that first night and I'd been at the wine and I think it may have been my fault. We spoke on the phone yesterday for 3 hours and he said the going away thing would have been insane and I hadn't actually considered had I it was a joke. Again re reading it fit with the whole "dream date/holiday" conversation. I've now had a thorough stalk and he's legit, in a serious position of responsibility locally with a lot to lose. So think I may play this one out.

And never ever drink and date/text again.

Hi all, just checking in to new thread. Don't think I will get much time for dating but at the same time am bored, have fallen into an easy fling with Mr Local but in all honesty he doesn't excite me intellectually and whilst great sex is, well, great, I'm losing interest due to being so different. So whilst easy and comfortable it's not what I'm aiming for.
He is a lovely bloke so I'm going to have to call it a day, but I guess he must be thinking similar.
Not on any dating sites currently so will have to be a real life meet for me so I better get arranging nights out :)
Still enjoying reading about others dates and nice to see new people joining and getting good advice from the helpful regulars (not me, I just laugh at the madness and say very little I'm afraid) but it is fun and the conversation is often better than on the dating sites!
As you were.

Hi I am back on OLD after approx. 7 month relationship. I knew at the start that we had major differences, had issues all the way through, but stupidly told myself I could adapt and it wouldn't matter... It did and this time around I'm nagging myself trying to be completely realistic!

I was on here as Lana Dreye. Read most of the last posts and reminded myself through your posts of 1) what a minefield it can be and 2) how great it is to read shared experiences when dealing with all the Bull Sh*t. Lots of wise words on here!

Afternoon all, just checking into the new thread. It’s giving me something to read in the early hours when I can’t sleep as I’m on a different continent for a couple of weeks.

Hurrah silver is alive! If nothing else, it sounds like a fun start to something silver! And don't beat yourself up 're texting/messaging pissed. Haven't we all done it?!

The topic of writing OLD profiles came up on another blog recently and I thought some people here might appreciate it. Personally, I always found myself more interested in profiles where the other person is clear about what they are looking for in a person, rather than just a list of their hobbies. It was usually a sign that they had some kind of emotional intelligence and had actually thought about what they wanted!

captainawkward.com/2018/04/02/1094-how-do-i-answer-the-what-are-you-looking-for-in-a-relationship-question-when-im-not-sure-i-know/#more-45261