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Original poster

Bring on the Spring Flings. It's Dating Thread 132!

999 replies

VetOnCall · 02/04/2018 22:56

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
ThirdTimeUnlucky · 04/04/2018 08:16

Has anyone else wrote a biography on here and it goes?
Anyway, I had MrIrish round here last night, just as a friend. He attempted sex this morning and I refused. I'm really not sure about last night as was a tad pissed!
Seeing an old iron tonight. We met previously. Messaged about all the reasons it wouldn't work afterwards. Now he seems mega keen.
MrWow is soooo non-comital that it hurts, as he is so lovely and would be the perfect partner for me. He is only recently out of a 30 yr relationship and only being 45, I can understand his reluctance. Oh shit. I'm doomed.

CarrotyO · 04/04/2018 09:16

Costaricachica - I've realised I can't handle that kind of behaviour from someone, hypothetically it sounds great but in reality it puts me on edge. I've recently told someone I'm no longer interested due to his half-heartedness. This new iron is sending me good morning and good night texts (as well as messages in between) so even though I find the "good night gorgeous" thing a bit off putting I am loving the feeling of security it is inducing in me. So I guess it depends what you personally can handle.

pudding21 · 04/04/2018 10:47

Eurgh. I just went on tinder (I have tinder plus for a month and you can see who likes you first). Anyway, one of ex FWB's really good friends is on there and swiped my profile.

He is disgusting, one of his photos is a 20 year old one when he was quite attractive, not anymore, I have seen him in real life. He is a total sleeze bag, loaded and has a gorgeous TV celeb wife (and kids). He has been trying to engage me on social media, I have ignored him, now he is on tinder. Such a dick. I was tempted to swipe on him just to tell him not if he was the last man on earth. He makes me want to heave.

A lot of women here are attracted to money, it doesn't appeal to me one bit. Integrity is much more important which he clearly doesn't have. Ewwwwwww. Maybe I should screen shot it an send it to his wife. Ex FWB told me that he used high class escorts and his wife knew, I doubt that very much.

Mr French contacted me this morning at 4am (he is working) to say he doesn't know his shifts yet and that he would let me know. Least he has been in contact. I will see but not getting my hopes up. I have other options but none that tick the boxes like he does.

Original poster
VetOnCall · 04/04/2018 10:54

I seem to have a habit of having old irons reconnecting with me. I'd like to think it was because I'm so good, lol. Has anyone else had this and what do you think/what do you do?

Third it's more than likely because they're wondering if they can get some no-strings sex. I don't mean just in your case, but in general when people come sniffing around again, that's their motivation. I don't get this because I'm very clear that if something isn't right for me then it's over and I don't engage with them any further.

Mr Wow doesn't sound particularly lovely tbh - still using POF 'for the laughs' - yeah right! If he really wanted exclusivity with you, you'd be exclusive. Words are easy, look at his actions.

Be careful that you're not seeing what you want him to be/think he could be rather than what he actually is. Everyone has met men who 'could be' perfect if only they did or didn't do x, y and z, but if they're not actually doing x, y and z or don't want to do it then they're not perfect at all, it's projection and fantasy.

I posted on your other thread last week and honestly, you need to raise your bar for acceptable behaviour and set some firmer boundaries or you're just going to keep repeating this same pattern with non-committal chancers.

OP posts:
Jaxinthebox · 04/04/2018 10:56

new iron today mrCar seems nice, wants to take me out... I might let him.

mrOil is full of it, sexy, flirty lots and normal messages too, but when it comes down to dating pulls back. He has told me he is full of it, but when it comes to it he freaks out. hmm

RunsforCake14 · 04/04/2018 11:00

Just checking in to the new thread with this gem from Match
Me: have I got this right? You're 51 but you say you're looking for women aged 30 to 44. Good luck with that!
Him: yes.
Me: oh, I thought it was a mistake and you meant 40 to 54. You're serious?? PMSL

I'm still taking a break from dating but I don't want to waste the rest of my Match subscription so I'm messaging all the men in my age range that don't look like axe murderers to see what happens.

DaffoDeffo · 04/04/2018 11:12

CarrotyO I say gorgeous particularly quickly (especially if he is actually gorgeous). I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all! I think it's quite affectionate actually :)

Jaxinthebox · 04/04/2018 11:16

I quite like 'gorgeous' too, doesnt bother me. Ive learned to look past the lol and xx and other things. If we click, we click. If not, its no loss.

OK I am going on a date with mrCar

pinkpixie83 · 04/04/2018 11:30

Can I ask a naive question - but how do you even manage to get dates?

I'm on Pof, tinder and bumble but I struggle to even get conversation out of anyone let alone a date. I've been on one date yet I've been on the sites nearly a year.

I am beginning to wonder if I'm doing something wrong.

Original poster
VetOnCall · 04/04/2018 11:38

Still talking to Mr DiamondMine, although no second date arranged yet.

BUT! In an unprecedented development, I have been asked on a date by someone from BUMBLE. Wonders will never cease. He seems alright, although we have the same job and I tend to avoid that because it leads to too much shop talk (I'd make an exception for Mr RealLifeConsultant though as his day job isn't like mine). Will go on this date anyway, he can be Mr Ski because he's just been and I can't think of anything more imaginative.

I still have Mr DubaiHoliday messaging on POF; I'm going to have to block him as I've told him nicely that I don't think we have much in common twice now but he keeps messaging anyway asking to meet.

OP posts:
Jaxinthebox · 04/04/2018 11:44

pixie have you messaged anyone whos profile you like? I have and it has led to chats, sometimes been asked for dates. Sometimes you have to make the first move.

pinkpixie83 · 04/04/2018 11:55

Oh I've messaged and tried to continue conversation but it just seems to fizzle out. Maybe I'm in interesting enough I just can't quite figure it out.

Jaxinthebox · 04/04/2018 12:06

do you want to send me your profile and I will have a look pixie Im no expert, Ive only been doing this for a couple of weeks and someone was kind enough to point me in the right direction.

Smeaton · 04/04/2018 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpringtimeSun · 04/04/2018 12:31

Jax are your sure MrOil isn't attached?
I have a LOT of offshore workers in my neck of the woods. When they're away working they're bored and so happy to flirt by message.
When they're home they're busy with wife and kids so of course they won't commit to a date.
I may be feeling slightly cynical today but I'd watch out if I were you.

Jaxinthebox · 04/04/2018 12:46

spring he has been messaging when he is home too. I am being careful, it has crossed my mind, but how would I know for sure? Its a bloody mine field!

SpringtimeSun · 04/04/2018 13:18

Have you tried doing a bit of research on him? FB etc

pinkpixie83 · 04/04/2018 13:32

I'm in Norfolk but not really rural as it were. Seem to find all the men wanting some fun or to send me pictures.

I wonder if I delete and start again, or maybe it's my children putting people off

Jaxinthebox · 04/04/2018 13:35

spring I can see him on whatsap - everything he has said so far has checked out, but Im backing off for now.

pinkpixie83 · 04/04/2018 13:37

My profile shouldn't be too awful

Carefully dipping my toe into the waters to see what's around.

I am an independent single mum, but looking for someone to share my time with. Don't worry my kids don't need a dad, they have one of those but yes they are a big part of my life. I work, own my own home and think I'm doing pretty well just be nice to share those evenings and weekends with.

I like music and gigs, the theatre. Ilike nice meal whether it be home cooked or out. I love dressing up if the occasion arrives, Halloween or Rocky horror as recent examples.

I'm a closet geek and like my books and Syfi programs. I have a love of cars and try to go banger racing if I can.

Hopefully I've not bored you, but drop me a line if you like the sound of any of the above.
Happy fishing.

SpringtimeSun · 04/04/2018 13:38

Have you searched for him on Facebook using his mobile number?

Jaxinthebox · 04/04/2018 13:40

oh no! I havent done that spring I will now.

Jaxinthebox · 04/04/2018 13:42

nope, nothing - just the number?

Jaxinthebox · 04/04/2018 13:43

your profile looks fine to me pixie

Original poster
VetOnCall · 04/04/2018 13:48

Pink take out the 'hopefully I haven't bored you' line - you are the prize remember! Other than that I think it sounds fine. Maybe name some specific gigs/plays/books you love and explain why, be passionate about it... You could also ask a question to spark conversation 'what's your most memorable gig?' etc.

OP posts: