Bring on the Spring Flings. It's Dating Thread 132!

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

It is a total piss take, I’m angry that he expects me to look after her even though he can obviously see that it won’t work. TBH I don’t think he has looked at the other options, it is hard to find a night sitter (he works nights) but there are other option. He has a 3 Bed house which he has just bought, he could get a lodger meeting someone would be about at night for the dog?

I think what he is expecting to happen is that I have the dog at night and then he comes her when he finishes his shift. Basically he will end up being here all the time, I don’t want that. All I wanted was someone who I see once, maybe twice a week, not a fucking lodger (or a cock lodger in this case).

Anyway, I’m going to try and think of a text message to explain this to him, he has left the dog food here so he obviously thinks he’s coming back later .

Last night he was telling me how he thinks things are going really well and he sees it as being a longtearm thing, chances are he won’t be saying that later. Feeling pretty shitty about it, feel like he has pushed me into a corner. Why do they do this? I really like him as a casual kind of thing, I don’t want someone in my house, sharing my bed and moving their dog in

Choc I think I’m going to have to send him a message along the lines of....’look, having your dog here full time just isn’t going to work, it’s upsetting my dog and cat and they are very important too me, also I am out most of the day either working or at the gym, I can’t take her with me and I can’t leave her with my dog, so what am I meant to do?, also I’m not ready to jump into a relationship that involves you staying over more than one night a week, im used to my own space and I’m not ready to share that space, my children are not ready to share that space either (they have been through a lot). I am happy to suggest other alternatives for the dog, im sure there are some that doesn’t involve you losing her but at the he moment having her here isn’t one of those options and I think it’s unfair for you to assume it is.’

Does that sound ok?

I think so - I wouldnt put the relationship part in though, just leave it at the dog.

Ok, I just want him to know that it’s not aimed to upset him but then again he shouldn’t be expecting so much of me so early on.

Tom it’s not just a car I’m looking for, it’s a camper van so could lead to new adventures, all pretty exciting. At least I have this to focus on when Mr Tinder probably blows up later. I would chose a campervan over any man .

Going to try not to stress, will send him the message later, if he gets funny with me then he’s gone.

Remember that you are the prize - you dont need to take on his issues too. And especially not a dog that doesnt get on with your animals or fits into your lifestyle.

Go look at campervans - the T25 forum is good and offer lots of advice. I used to have one. Lots of adventures... depends if you are looking at VW or more modern ones though. Either way, there are lots of helpful fb groups and lots of guys are into campervans... ;-)

love I'd pick a camper van over a man any day! I figure a relationship, especially in the early days should just be fun. Sounds like Mr Tinder is not only using you as a dog sitter but taking it all far too seriously. See what he says when you send him the message.

I'm struggling not to message Mr Academic and ask him if he wants to meet up again in the week. He does know I need to juggle a bit and did say when we first met he'd leave it up to me to say when I can meet. I suggested last week. And we did meet. And I did suggest next weekend. I need to see if he comes back to me on that or do I send him a gentle reminder?

love no no no no no. No. Just no. His dog, not yours. Imo massive red flag that he's even thinking about you having his dog at any time! From what you've said about him so far, does he take any responsibility for anything? You are not his mother or carer.
And the not leaving your house?? He should be erring on the side of caution at the beginning of a relationship, and leaving early rather than potentially overstaying his welcome. I think you may have a cocklodger heading your way.

Fwiw, my most recent ex did this kind of shit. Same issue with a dog. He said he couldn't have it where he was 'living' and could I have it for 2 weeks. Which morphed into 6. I don't have a dog and I don't want a dog, but I seriously contemplated having the damn thing. Fortunately put my foot down. He eventually rehomed it, but made me feel very very guilty.
He then moved himself in and didn't move out, but that's a whole other story 😂

love eh????? He wants you to have his dog? Nah! I think that's your cue to back out, ffs. Dick.

Mr french left a longe voice message he's been made homeless by his employer so is couch surfing at the moment. He's had a shit week, said maybe its cos I had left the country and that's why it all went to shit. Hes forgiven for now ;)

My very first tinder (the one I wrote off because he was camp and I didn't feelsuch chemistry) and I are chatting a lot again. Hes so lovely, I was probably a bit brutal with my rejection of him as a sexual partner. Back then I was really only thinking of sex to be honest (still am a little bit but it's more of a package thing now!) He's so polite, has a child so understands the dynamics etc, and he is lovely about me. I've helped him a bit with a new job interview (I'm in recruitment) he got the job And is so genuinely thankful for my input. If nothing else it's a nice friendship. We're both always busy though and our weekend so never align so let's See.

Nearly home now, one stop to go and I'm so looking forward to seeing my boys and my furry baby :)

*Love It's like having a sleepy cuddly child

I'm sitting here laughing to myself - I've been chatting to someone for a few weeks on POF - he has been very keen to meet up - I've had a busy weekend but agreed to meet at 5 tonight - only arranged an hour ago as I've been babysitting and wasn't sure when they were being picked up. He just messaged to say how about we meet up next Saturday instead - what? I think he's a bin job and he keeps on calling luv and hun !

Anyone come across stinkypongytrainers on POF - his profile says he's 60 but is actually 40 - he has a foot fetish - doesn't mind sucking toes but prefers sniffing really smelly trainers - shame my son doesn't live at home still - it takes all sorts

Val - good job you can laugh about it. How flakey is that!
Eww to stinkypongytrainers, how the feck does someone get into that kind of thing. Lol.

valmac sounds like a gem.i have a younger brother and he caught his best mate aged 15 wanking into one of my shoes. I guess that's how these fetishes start 😂😂😂😂

Disclaimer: they were pink paitent leather heels 👠 not stinky trainers.

pudding i almost spat out my coffee! wanking into a shoe!!!😭

Just catching up and I see we have the usual collection of strange ones! Is anyone dating anyone normal??

Love you need to be assertive about the dog and him. Straight to the point "I can not have your dog in my house, please remove by this evening." Don't give him any wiggle room to say just a few more days etc. He is taking the piss and needs to grow up.

Val I haven't come across stinky trainers, thank goodness!

Back on OLD for a week and so far I've had:

• a date that lied dramatically about his height
• a near date that was in a relationship already
• a Tinder match I was getting on well with who turned out to be "technically still married"
• 3 men giving up on me because I'm not available at 5 mins notice

And a zillion messages from men miles and miles away. It's going well!

Spoke too soon! stinkytrainers has just looked at my POF profile.
Sitting here fingers crossed he doesn't send a message!

So I sent him a simple message saying ‘I think you have probably realised but me having the dog isn’t going to work, I can’t have my dog being attacked and my cat scared to come in the house’ ,so straight to the point. I then went out and switched my phone off for a couple hours. Just got home and he has replied saying ‘ I guessed that was the case and I understand, just thought it was worth a try but knew there was a chance it wouldn’t work’. So he seems fine about it.

As for the question “does he take responsibility of anything?” I’m not sure, he hasn’t got much responsibility for anything but I’m guessing he rushes into things without thinking them through. I think he’s trying to rush with me but that won’t get him anywhere. I want someone who can fit in with my life rather than me having to try to fit into there’s.

I spent the afternoon at a local nature reserve on my own, walking and watching the birds, met a lovely couple who were out looking for a particular type of bird, I thought how lovely it was that they both shared the same interest and that they could spend the day together doing something they enjoyed. That’s what I want

Pud - did you wear them again?
Runs - I'll fight you for him - I'll just go and smell my trainers to see how bad they are. I think Mr Hun probably had a better offer - he is on POF constantly - when I said fine about cancelling he said - thanks Hun, luv ya! Fingers down throat time ! I've got another iron on the go Mr Muddy - he seems nice and normal so far and has given me his number - we'll see - I'm off to the sun in 3 weeks so not trying to hard at the moment - totally off topic but I saw the Book of Mormon on Friday - very very funny if you are not easily shocked - and let's face it OLD makes you shock-proof - really recommend it

Love that's what I want to - there's a very old couple I see often - they are always holding hands which is so lovely to see.

Val he hasn't messaged me so it looks like stinkytrainers is all yours!

Love has he taken his dog away yet?
Sounds like you had a lovely afternoon. I think we all want to be that couple.

Runs thanks

Yes, the dog went with him this morning. My cat has finally come indoors after lots of coaxing.

val I didn't they were my Favs. My poor brother didn't tell me until about 15 years later. Id been on a family holiday with parents, brother and friend and was unaware. I sunbathed topless all week. Poor kid. Hahahaha!

Pud! You probably shaped the rest of his life!