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Original poster

Bring on the Spring Flings. It's Dating Thread 132!

999 replies

VetOnCall · 02/04/2018 22:56

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Jaxinthebox · 27/04/2018 09:01

mrfrench still messaging me and its an easier conversation - if that makes sense - since we met. He is working but messages me every morning and during the day. Still no date for our second date but I know he needs to see what hours/days he is working when he is at his main job again (Head chef)

Mrsnog has been around again, doing all the work, he is easy to be with, we laugh and have good fun together... its his birthday in a couple of days and think we might be going out tonight. Im not sure if we are just having fun or if things have moved on. Think we need to have that conversation. How do I do that without seeming needy? Amy young you say... off to youtube her.

VixenSixen · 27/04/2018 09:06

SkyRabbit - a journey starts with a single step..... it ia good to step outside your comfort zone and remind yourself what you are capable of. I do quite a lot of stuff on my own now. My favourite is going to coffee shop on a Sunday with a good book and just ha gout & drink coffee with myself myself. Good for the soul!

Runs- I would ignore and invest your time and energy elsewhere? He sounds proper flaky!

Jax - how long have you and Mr Snog been dating now? I dont think it is unreasonable to ask the question 💃🌠 xxx

MinnieMul · 27/04/2018 11:18

Jax I struggle with this too - how do you bring up whether it is going anywhere without sounding so needy or looking stupid.

I am also struggling with over-thinking at the moment. No real reason for any doubts but I seem to over-think so much. I am not sure whether it is linked to previour relationships or just stress at work etc. Does anyone have any tips for this?

Chocmallows · 27/04/2018 13:53

Date with Mr cute last night. He seems really nervous at times, which is throwing me as last BF could be emotionally cold and I'm not used to having someone showing they care how things are going.

I'm also wondering if he is a bit needy. I want an emotional attachment, but not overly needy. Tough balancing act!

Mywonderfulstar · 27/04/2018 15:39

I’m not dating but concentrating on self care and doing stuff I want to do. Someone further up the thread mentioned AmyYoung on YouTube, she’s a life/relationship coach. She has made me laugh this afternoon and given me plenty to think about. Please take a look over the weekend

Mywonderfulstar · 27/04/2018 15:41

Pudding it was you that mentioned Amy Young may I salute you?!

Jaxinthebox · 27/04/2018 16:00

Vixen 6 weeks on and off... He is taking me out soon, the sun is out, the sky is blue and he mentioned last night about a place local that I have never been to so he is taking me there, then said I should take him for dinner (its his birthday on Monday) - he was joking, he is taking me out for dinner and drinks this evening.

So how do I broach the question in a 'bloke can understand and doesnt think I want to get married and a mortgage' kind of way?

Jaxinthebox · 27/04/2018 16:13

minnie Matthew Hussey has a blog about it, Ive just read it - I had a google to see what I could find. Not going to bring it up tonight unless it falls into conversation naturally - or I have a few drinks.

RunsforCake14 · 27/04/2018 16:18

Not really a dating question but it relates to an ex so I'm hoping you guys can help.
After my marriage broke up I got involved in my own Mr Headfuck. I didn't have the wisdom of this thread so I stuck with him for 18mths thinking it would get better. It didn't so I finally got the courage to ditch him.

That was 2 years ago. However, I couldn't get rid of him completely as I see him through work about once a week. I've reached the point where I can be friendly but professional.

Over the last month or so there's been various training courses that we've had to go on so I've seen him a bit more. Again it's been friendly and professional. No more or less friendly than anyone else I see through work.

About a week ago he gave me something. It's related to work but could also be seen as a gift. I just said thanks.

We're not friends on facebook but today I got a notification that he wants to connect on Messenger. There's no reason why we need to use this.

I want to just ignore it but I'm worried he might make things difficult at work for me. But if I accept he might think I'm interested in him.
No idea what to do for the best.

piethagoras · 27/04/2018 16:30

runs in my world phone calls and sms text messages are for work colleagues and business acquaintances. Gender doesn't come into it. Anything else from WhatsApp or similar is friends only. I would expect somebody to see me giving out any other contact details as encouragement. But a lot of people think I'm a bit odd.

Skyrabbit · 27/04/2018 18:12

runs that's a toughie, do you have anyone else from work on there? If not, that's a handy get out?

Urgh I've dropped the ball with my child. I didn't read an email from school right, and he missed a school trip today. Feeling very guilty that it's because I've been too invested on dating, and not the kids 🙁

Chocmallows · 27/04/2018 18:34

Runs could you email him (work email) and just say you find messenger unreliable for longer work emails, could he use email? Keep it friendly and light, Blame Messenger system, but at the same time you are reinforcing that you have primarily a professional relationship?

Sky I have messed up before, DCs forgotten cooking ingredients and not worn mufti. They learn to remind me - they are in school so should hear updates before you do?

esk1mo · 27/04/2018 20:09

i bumped into mr.lovebomb at the gym today Shock

basically we dated briefly last summer and he disappeared after DTD a few times. during that period he introduced me to his friends, talked about future plans etc but then ended things as he still had feelings for his ex apparently.

anyway we havent spoke since then, until today. he looked mighty fiiiine and said we should meet for coffee soon Hmm i followed him on insta and he followed back straight away.

tbh though, he isnt very well endowed,
and he needs a map to locate the clitoris, so hes probably only good for a snog and a dry hump Grin

we did have fun and nice dates together
though. funny how the world works!

RunsforCake14 · 27/04/2018 20:42

choc that's a really good idea. I'll do that on Monday

Bant · 27/04/2018 21:23

They sell maps for that!?

esk1mo · 27/04/2018 21:51

if they dont then im going to start making them. do you need one bant Wink

Lostlily · 27/04/2018 22:45

4 days non contact Hmm
I am missing his messages, I won't lie, but its the right thing to do.

Blimey we are all being given the run around at the moment aren't we! Bloody men (Bant and Smeaton excluded Wink)

Chocmallows · 27/04/2018 22:46

esk1mo if he needs a map and can't satisfy you I'd stick with a bit of flirting and look elsewhere. Does he have nice singlefriends?

What do people think about dating someone without DCs?
I have 2, both 9+ he has none. We are both early 40s. I feel like we probably won't have much in common, but I have a few evenings a week free so we can date. I want more, but can it work?

esk1mo · 27/04/2018 23:12

choc he’s friends with a guy ive seen around the gym and fancied for aaages... but hes 19 and im mid-20s !!! i mean, i probably still would, he squats over 200kg so he’s hardly a child Blush

Chocmallows · 27/04/2018 23:23

It's fine 19 is not a child and you won't be a cougar as you are still in your 20s!

ThirdTimeUnlucky · 27/04/2018 23:52

Jax weirdly I question the intentions early on. I personally don't want to invest much time and emotion in someone who is just looking to date casually. None of us knows what the future holds but being open to a possible commitment is important, in my view.
I stupidly and drunkenly msg MrWow last night and told him I love him. I read the msgs this morning and cringed. I msg to apologise for my msgs last night. He just said he understands what I am going thro atm and no need to apologise (my Dad has a terminal illness).
I want to tell him I don't love him really but that seems a bit harsh. Should I just leave it?

pudding21 · 28/04/2018 03:23

esk1mo he squats 200kg? Wife him! Yesterday!!

Mr french has barely messaged while I've been away. He left me a voice message last night to say sorry and hed been busy. Me too, 16 hour days, traveling etc I still managed. It's annoyed me a little bit but perhaps I'm being a bit unfair. Might download tinder again when i get home but I'm not instigating any more messages for a while.

Met a lovely Hindu guy in India through work, 25 who Will have an arranged marriage soon. He was totally cool with it...... maybe we got it all wrong and our families should choose ;)

piethagoras · 28/04/2018 04:18

esk1mo I usually have a good look at Google maps satellite images first if I'm going somewhere I haven't been before, so I know my way around when I get there.

At my age I have found that a lot of places have changed so much since I went there last.

dimots · 28/04/2018 10:03

Ive not posted for a while, but have a question. Would it be totally unrealistic to think that a 32 yr old man would want a relationship with a 47 yr old woman?
For context, he already has a child, if that makes a difference

Chocmallows · 28/04/2018 10:07

Dimots if he feels and acts in a similar way then yes. Personally I date the same age or older, but I find men tend to mature later sorry for the stereotype.

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