Bring on the Spring Flings. It's Dating Thread 132!

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Is that yes it's unrealistic?
I haven't met him yet, but I like his messages. He has not made any indications of what he is looking for but I have made it clear I don't have sex on first dates and he has said that's fine

He didn't go to university and has been working since his teens, including a period spent abroad.

I'm not averse to a fling, but I'm worried about investing too much if I like him in person as much as I do online.

I mentioned about his work history because I find people who have been working since their teens are often 'older' in their outlook than university graduates. They seem to settle down younger.

Happy weekend everyone :)
I'm still focusing on myself/ kids and not on dating sites but enjoy reading about everyone's exploits. See my last date Mr Local as a running buddy but nothing else going on.
Pud you must be shattered, hope work calms down a bit for you, I have taken over the management role now and late evenings are a given for a couple of months.
Jax can't make out whether you want MrSnog to commit or you are interested in MrFrench, I'm losing track?
Esk of course 19 is fine if you are mid 20's (I wish I was still mid twenties it's going too quick!) Have fun, and let me know when the map is produced, you could be onto a winner there :)
Lost hang on in there, you know its the right thing long term, but yes its very hard initially.
Dimots hate to be negative but I think at 32 he is prob just after one thing, I could be wrong of course but I am 40's too and from experience its all about the sex with early 30's, which is fine if they are up front about it and you go in eyes open, but some don't and make out they want a relationship instead of being honest. Again, disclaimer, I could be doing him a disservice, but be wary.
Love Hope things ok with Mr Tinder, and I also hope he is putting in more effort, you seem lovely and deserve someone who is not lazy and just after sex.
Need to go and walk the dog, hope those with dates this weekend have a great time and those without spend time doing stuff that makes them happy x (

ignoring I think you're probably right. I doesn't help that from what I've seen, I really, really would like to have sex with him!
But for me sex often leads to emotional connection, which is why I'm wary. And why I haven't had sex for months

Help, I have a man in my bed (Mr Tinder), I'm worried he won't go home, I know he will at some point. Really didn't want things to move this fast, I'm not ready to share a whole weekend with someone. He worked last night so will proba my sleep most of the day whilst I tip toe around not being able to do anything. Morning cuddles were nice but now I'm craving my own space. I normally take the kids out on a Saturday and visit family. I need to slow it down.

dimots I'm 50 and I've got a date tonight with someone who's 37. Normally he'd be too young for me but his messages have been good. I told him I didn't do sex on the first date and seemed ok with that. I find not shaving my legs is a good way to stop getting carried away
I have friend whose husband is 14 years younger than her. So the age gap can work.

Love if you want him out of your house then you need to politely tell him that you have plans with your kids and he needs to leave

Runs if I do meet him and if I like him irl, think I probably will end up having sex with him and to hell with my emotional health tbh.
There's only so long I can go without before my sex drive overrides my emotional caution.
So with this in mind I'm going to time my first meeting such that I don't have time after the date to go and have sex before my kids return from their father 😂

dimots i usually end up with men younger than me because i look younger than my age, and they never seem to care that im older because i dont look it. i know that sounds very shallow, and i guess it is. but there are unfortunately still some people who have an issue with younger man/older woman, unless they basically look the same age 🙄

plus any man can be just after sex, no point on ruling him out before even meeting him. meet for a coffee to suss him out.

pud maybe Frenchie doesnt want to bother you while you are away and working? let him know when you are back and he will jump at the chance to see you!

love god i hate that feeling, internally screaming “pleeeeeaase gooooooo”. its easiest just to make up a lie that gets up out the house.

i remember being at uni and some boy i’d seen once or twice stayed over. i wanted him gone the next morning so i was going on about having to go to Tesco, do a big shop etc. he ended up walking me there, thats fine. then came into Tesco, ok bit weird, maybe he needs something too. THEN HE CAME ALL THE WAY BACK HOME WITH ME. i was so i ended up having to make us both breakfast. who doesnt get that sort of hint?!

ignoring i personally dont see it as an issue, but im not sure if he finds me attractive in return so ill have to do some hint dropping to his friends

esk1mo I think I do look younger than I am. People have guessed ages ranging from late 30s to early 40s, and I'm quite slim.
Some of the men most blatantly after sex I've talked to online have been in their 40s anyway.

Finally had a text from last weekend's date yesterday after saying he'd get back to me shortly- on Tuesday... a pile of self absorbed drivel 'letting me down gently' as he realised that although we clicked, he doesn't want a relationship with someone who has long term commitments- I presume he means DS but I have no idea actually. Given that he had done all the pursuing and suggested celebrating my birthday together, the fact that he chose to send that message ON my birthday was particularly irritating. I know he likes to be thought of as a nice guy and may be a little confused that I don't reply...

Chatting to a couple of others, had an interesting RL convo with one but his questioning of the Bill Cosby case and potential that 60 women may be lying left me cold.

Blocked another weirdo this morning

I'm still here with Mr Tinder. He's fallen back to sleep. It's like having a sleepy cuddly child.

Good news is he now has work to do tomorrow so he has to go eventually.

Been lurking for a while. Can I join in?
I have a first date tonight with someone I met on POF. My first ever date! Feeling very nervous and tempted to cancel. Amy advice?

Hi Sukist try to imagine it's a chat rather than date. It doesn't matter if you don't see each other again, but being an open-minded and honest version of yourself is the safest approach. Hope it goes well!

Love has he gone yet - vacuum and find a shelf to put up?

Thanks Choc.
I'll try

i saw my previous iron at the gym again today, and managed to mention that i fancy his friend he is still an ex though, so
he might not see me as “fair game” as they say and probably wont tell his friend, oh well

hi all, had a lovely time with mr Snog yesterday, last night and today... he is out tonight for his birthday and has just phoned me. I said I am not going out tonight, bit hanging from yesterday and really tired.

choc I like Mr Snog but I also want to see how I get on with MR French he has asked to meet me on Tuesday.

I just dont know what to do at the moment. It seems that men are like buses...

Big and red and with a worrying aroma of urine?

Esk sorry but at mid twenties no one could class you as 'older'!
Love hope he has gone, that would irritate me a lot, set a time you have to go out and he has to leave.
Married not such a nice guy then, more of a thoughtless prick :)
Runs I agree an age gap can work but think the ones I know IRL with an age gap actually met IRL and I find I am more cynical of motives on OLD.
Another quiet Sat night for me, hope good things do come to those who wait!

ignoring oh i know just in terms of younger guys/women older than them. guys i know will date 19yo girls, but if i got with a 19yo guy it would be a bit ..hmmmm.

ive woken up to some drunk messages from MrLovebomb (the one i bumped into at gym the past couple of days). so bizarre, i honestly thought we’d never speak again. ive seen him around a couple of times and we just blanked each other, now he’s messaging me at 3am when he should be having fun with his friends he knows my mum is staying with me since i had an operation last week, so he cant be looking for sex surely?

i quite liked him, but i was the opposite of WMLB , i was soooo nice. he’d come round when drunk, have sex with me and then i’d make him a big bowl of various fruits for breakfast!! cringe!!

oh well, potential FWB if nothing else. ill show him where the clitoris is, for the benefit of womankind.

Mr Tinder has left the building. I think when he left he knew I was kind of pissed off. He’s put me in a tricky situation, don’t want to put too many details as I don’t want to out myself. He is in a situation where he can no longer keep his beloved dog (his best friend), I took the dog on Friday but I thought I made it clear that it wasn’t a long term thing (was just to get him out of shit on Friday), he now assumes I’m having the dog full time but I don’t want too. The dog can’t be left on it’s own and I am rarely at home.p, also the dog keeps attacking my old dog and my cat (so no way it can stay). He’s taken the dog with him today. I could tell when he left that he wasn’t very happy, he must know that I can’t help him out, it’s not fair on me to expect me too. So I’m going to have to tell him today that I can’t have the dog, I’m guessing this might end things but I’m not attached to him and I’m not too bothered (the important thing is I don’t end up with this dog). So today could be the end of it . Why do I always end up with the ones that have baggage, chose him because he doesn’t have kids thinking it will be stress free .

Anyway, not going to stress too much, I have a day too myself to tidy my house, for my dog and cat to recover and to do everything I couldn’t do yesterday because he was here. I have other things going on in my life that are quite exciting, work and a possible new car so I’m going to focus on them.

Well done for standing your ground with the dog love. Do you really think things might end if you don't have his dog? If they do, then he's really not worth it. A new car sounds exciting and a whole lot less complicated than a man!

I'm bingeing on Amy Young to keep me sane. Mr Academic has only messaged twice since we met on Wednesday. He initiated one of those so I'm sure I've not been ghosted. And I know he has a busy weekend. Plus it's not unusual. We met online back in Feb and he often messaged only once a week. Of course now we have met and kissed I am starting to like him. However I am going to wait for him to suggest meeting up again, because if he likes me he will. In the beginning the once a week messaging did not bother me in the slightest! I wish I could feel like that again. I have Amy's voice in my head telling me I'm giving way too many fucks!

Ignore you make a good point about cynical about motives of those on OLD. I am inclined to agree and wonder if for many it is simply an ego boost.

love . that is a total piss take! you cant just dump your dog on someone and expect them to look after it!

He could hire a sitter, a dog walker or put it in boarding for a while. He has many options (I do lots in rescue) or ask for a temp foster local to him. Dont let him guilt you into anything.

The sun is shining here and I am going to make the most of it. Going for a lovely walk later with my friend and her new rescue dog, finishing off work for month end and housework. Rock n roll life I lead.

Love he sounds like a user. He wants your bed, your cuddles, you to babysit his dog. I can't see what you are getting out of this?

Are you sure you want to wait to see if he ends it or do you want to get rid and focus back on you?

Things with Mr Cute are interesting as I have now watched what feels like 100 Matthew Hussey and Amy Young videos and I'm trying lots of things out. Last night he wanted a booty call cuddles, I said no I'm looking for longterm. For a change I don't feel guilty and I'm not overanalysing my decision. Date later today so will see how things go.

Anyone have a good date last night?