How many people are having affairs?

[wondering79]

Not looking for praise or vilification and I know what I'm doing is wrong. Speaking to a friend last night (who knows nothing of my situation, haven't told anyone) she told me a mutual friend of ours has been having an affair for 3 months. I asked a few questions and changed the subject, didn't want to mention mine obviously.

But it got me wondering how many other people are having an affair and for how long? Everyones situation is different and not here to judge or be judged, just interested in how common this is?

Mine's been going on for a year.

ps. I've changed my name so don't out myself. A few family members on here.

How sad.

You may be better off going to reddit for this kind of thread.

I think it’s common, even if some are not long term affairs I think it happens a lot.

Out of 10 blokes I can name, I know of 7 that have either had affairs, shagged women when on a night out stag do/or generally done inappropriate things such as messaging other women.

I can only speak for myself, but I never have, and would never want to. I respect and love my dh and if that ever stopped being the case I would leave, I wouldn’t have an affair.

I have been propositioned several times though. I think a significant number of people have no morals.

*not here to judge or be judged, just interested in how common this is?

Mine's been going on for a year.* Oh do bore off !

I never have I don't believe I ever would. Just, no.

You've got to love Mumsnet. No one makes you reply to a topic you may not like so fuck off!

I know quite a few people in the past who have been involved with married people. The older people get the less I know of it happening.

Alot more than I thought. Seems to be mist people are having or have had some kind of extra martial dalliance.
Sometimes I feel like a prude as I can often feel I'm the only one not flinging my knickers off!

Why don't you break up with your partner instead of betraying them? You obviously don't have a future.

Haven't and wouldn't.

Have been propositioned at least three times by married men who know I'm married though. All men who I know through work.

I stand to lose too much (I.e. almost everyone and everything I love). For me, totally not worth it.

xoxo I will reply to whichever topic I like. Homewrecking hits a nerve..can't ever condone putting another woman through this.

Never and don't know of anyone either. Probably because people know I don't stand for that shit and would out them.
It's disgraceful.
Are you sleeping with a married man/woman?
Your poor BETTER half!

I know of ONE person who’s never cheated. ONE.

It happens all the time in the airline industry. I suppose it's because there's more opportunity to.

I think I'm living under a rock. I know of very few people that have. Maybe I'm just really unobservant

Here, have a medal!!!

I'm not sure what kind of answer are you expecting, and what that answer would mean to you. Are you trying to soothe your conscience by getting comfort in numbers? 'Everyone is doing it' sort of thing?
The important thing is whether you are at peace with yourself and with mankind. You say I know what I'm doing is wrong , but presumably you are enjoying it too much to stop, or to ask for advice on how to stop. You are interested in some statistic that is pretty much impossible to answer. Remember, however, that we reap what we sow - and in due season you shall reap.

You know what, I did it in my first marriage and having been on receiving end in second, I disgust myself!! The mental crap is horrible!!

No not trying to soothe any conscience. Everyone's situation is different and genuinely interested in responses. I didn't give my situation as that's not the issue here and would create a totally different thread. Not looking for stats MoyoGaza, mumsnet is hardly the ONS. Thanks for the medal loveyoutothemoon.

EarlyGreyPlea, woah that's amazing, out of how many?
Onelasttime, people wouldn't necessarily know in order to out them. It's not really something people shout about.

A neighbor of mine was admitted to the hospital where I work after she had an accident in her car. She passed a message to me via another member of staff to ask me if she could give me her house keys to go in and feed her cats whilst she was in hospital. She ended up having to stay on the ward for eight days. In that time I was feeding her pets and taking her mail to her on the ward she was on. When she came home I kept going to help her getting into and out of the bath and cooked some meals for her. Then one day after she had fully recovered from her injuries she invited my husband and I to have a meal with her however because we did not want to leave the children alone my husband declined her offer so I went alone. I don’t know if it was the wine or a combination of both feelings and wine but we ended up in bed. That was the start of a 4 year affair. I told my husband the first time I had sex with her. He said as long as it did not affect us he did not object.
In the end she wanted me to herself and wanted me to leave my husband I could not do that so we moved away. We never talk about it we are very close and happy. In one way I regret it but in another way I don’t.

Op you come across as quite arrogant. I think this thread is rather goady. Ta ra.

I think this is probably not the board to post this thread. Posters who admit to affairs very rarely receive anything other than utter condemnation - even when they are seeking help or are “ confessing their sins “. Presumably this is given the numbers of women who come here for advice having discovered their husbands have cheated - not your ideal audience. From my viewpoint I work in an organisation where affairs are very prolific and accepted to the level where some people will bring an affair partner to events rather than a spouse. I think it opens your eyes to the realities of modern relationships and makes me question whether there are better more durable type of relationship other than traditional monogamous ones.

RGNStaffNurse Wow!! "He said as long as it did not affect us he did not object." What a response from your husband too, would he have been so nonchalant had it been a man you were in be with? Did he know it went on for 4 years, and know when you were meeting up or did you just never mention it to him? That's pretty amazing you're still together. Wow!!

SpiritedLondon. Wow, if people are bringing their affair partner to events how do their partners never find out? Agree there's definitely an alternative (or should be) to a traditional relationship.