GLAM & FAB TOUR - MEMBERS MEETING POINT!!!

[Ifonlyhewould]

Hi Ladies

Hope you don't mind, ive started this thread to save hijacking the thread of others.

I thought we could use it to attract attention of the other members if needed or whatever

baffy- love, hugs, best wishes, thinking of you. dont know what else to say just wish i could make it all better for you xx

Thinking of you Baffy x

Hi all

Hi B

Hope you are ok and know that we are here you are doing well - remeber he lied to you for a reason and she knows that (it wasnt because you mean nothing to him). He too cant let go of you, he is scared that you WILL move on and that it will be without him.

I still wonder if he is so very confused and is now trapped by her.

Time will show you and as everyone has said he will come to regret this or at the very least the way he has treated you.

You know in your heart that you have done nothing wrong and he will too and that will make him a very sad person one day. We all do things wrong but to repeatedly do this to you is so very very wrong and he cannot be proud of himself.

Be kind to yourself and just remember each day you are getting slowly stronger.

Thanks everyone

I really don't think he wants either of us. He has made such a cock up of everything that he knows he needs time alone to sort his messed up head out. But at the same time he doesn't want to let either of us go. He has his 19 year old ego boost hanging off his every word who will give him a quick sh*g in the car anytime and not ask for much in return!

Then he has his faithful loving wife who gives him the love, support, stability, familiarity, as well as also being at his beck and call when he wants to have sex...

He has been having his cake and eating it for months on end hasn't he.

I feel like I'm in such a bad way now because I'm starting to see the light. Starting to see just how cold and calculated his actions have been and starting to see him for the person he has become

My love for him, and faith in him (truly not believing anyone would ever do this to the person they have spent their whole lives with), was clouding my judgement. Every time he apologised and said the right thing I believed it, not because I was stupid (I hope!) but because I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that the good man I knew was still in there somewhere.

But I think he's gone forever That's what I now need to try and accept. And that's what will take time.

Thank you all so much for your support xx

So for you.

I predict a huge lottery win for you with the cheque presented by some gorgeous, wonderful man and you fall madly in love and live happily ever after.

I haven't been drinking, honest, but god knows something good needs to happen for you soon.

Thinking of you.

oooh BadPuppy, I like your prediction.

Note to us all: BUY A LOTTERY TICKET NOW!!

Gotta be init to winit!

I am definately getting a very strong feeling that BadPuppy has psychic tendancies.

ps: dd at Grandma's and I'm going to the pub and on Saturday I am going to a wedding on my own and I am wearing a dress!!!

pps: did I mention I've got a mortgage?

ppps: y'know the 5 stages of recovery? does it include slightly hysterical? I think I'm in that one right now!!!

huge lottery win only after divorce complete though as he will take half.

Message withdrawn

Baffy, what a horrible place to be in. Why has he got to carry on being so 2 faced? I really feel for you.

PC, brilliant news about the mortgage! And well done Lily and her DP. I wish mine wiould hurry up and move on (mortgage and DP!) but I cant return some forms until he comes back from France. Thats tomorrow, so I hiope things will start to move again next week.

Sugar - good luck! I hope this works - sounds like you want it to, so lets hope you can thrash it all out.

To everyone -

Baffy so feel for you much the same as happened with me - back from holiday with H - was strained to say the least...know he got messages from OW sneaked look at his phone and cutesy pictures of baby with cutesy messages with lots little kisses after them - asked him straight out and he just shrugged and said "just about baby" - apparantly she says he can see it whenever he wants her - guess that includes seeing her as well another demented bunny boiler who has what she wants - and he has cake and eats it as well (and I pay for it all)...anyway tried to talk to him told him we needed to sort this out just got angry walked away and said I was the one who had to decide - well I have but he won't discuss any aspect with me...I do still lve him but if he thinks I can forget the hurt support us all while he lives the bachelors life in his nice little flat and plays happy families with both of us he can FUCK himself - told him want to talk properley about where we go now (formal seperation if I can get it through to him)

macd so sorry things aren't looking any better

Things go from bad to worse here. In real trouble in work. basically because since H left last december I've just drifted along doing the absolute minimum to get by. Some days it's a struggle just to get up at 5.30 and do the 1.5 hour drive over here... so by the time I get here I'm just like a zombie.

I've lost all faith in work. I can't cope with 3 hours travel a day, working full time, being a single mum, worrying about everything else, coming to terms with his affair... and then be this 'proactive energetic business woman' that they want me to be. I don't even have the strength to eat never mind put my last ounces of strength into a company that couldn't care less about me. And any strength I have left is for the 1 hour a day I get to spend with my baby.

I could get signed off sick with stress, which is what my doctor wants me to do. But then I will have no chance of getting the job closer to home that I so badly need.

I'm seriously thinking of packing everything in. Just sell my car, pay off my debts and go. I have no house anyway. And nothing left to work for. I worked so hard to get this great job, provide for my family etc and he's taken everything away from me, made me sell the house without knowing he was going to leave us, not only ruined my life, but shattered my confidence and made a complete fool of me.

I think it's time for a fresh start. No idea how. But it's definitely time.

I love the lottery win idea

But I think I really need to start making my own luck. Because nobody is handing it to me on a plate are they!
Time to try and find some positives...

pc - I too am going to a wedding on my own on saturday and wearing a dress

I hope the groom has got some good looking, rich, single friends!

Mcdoddle - he wants you to decide for him and kick him out so he can play the hard done by one. You have to set yourself some rules - hard as it is you need to get on with your fantastic life that he will be missing out on.

She is trying to act reasonable by saying that he can see the baby whenever ect and not putting pressure on him. You need to state your case and he needs to know you mean it.

I really do believe it is not until they really think they have lost it that they come to their senses. You are allowing him to have his cake and eat it as such.

What are you so afraid of - that he will go back to her and she will have won - that may happen at first but i am sure he will soon be back to you and then she will have to do all the running after him not you. You can do this on your own he has every chance to go to her so dont be scared to let him go. If he really wants you he will find a way to come back but if not then you really are better rid.

I am not being harsh as i was in your position not long ago. I still get my strength from knowing that i can go it alone and i feel so much more powerful for it. I will not tolerate his crap anymore however much i love him and our family. This is about what i want now and it will be about what you want too.

Good luck always here for you.

I was the same at work just sort of floated along - scary when I "woke up" how much I had just let pass me by (don't worry those who know what I do nothing major - business side stuff mostly and admin/paperwork) - my partners didn't really know what to do and just left me to it ...lucky is joint partnership and my partners are all pretty great (mostly)....I had the running away thing have family overseas and some days just wanted to pack up and go
No answers really think we need to move on in our heads and hearts to get any closure and peace - still torturing myself and don't know why as am pretty certain I don't want him and the worst punishment she could have would be for him to be with her (am finding it hard to see any redeeeming qualities at the moment) (:

ooh cross post but pretty accurate I know he wants me to be one to end the marriage so he can say he "tried" but I didn't - don't care any more just want him to listen to me and agree to split...would really hurt if he ended up with her know it wouldn't last but still NEED to be strong NEED to find the right time to do it

Hi everyone - ive had a request to go on someones facebook, and MSN - but now we havent got the group, i cant remember who's who in RL!

Could you just give me a little wave so I can give them the OK?

Hope everyones ok tonight.

hi how is everyone?

hi there

not too bad thanks

feeling more positive than I have in a while so that can only be a good thing!

how are you doing? how's things with dh?

hi all

hope someone's having a look at this thread.

need to vent/seek advice a bit.

went to free legal service last night. their advice (barrister) was to sit tight and do nothing as if i start proceedings then H may well decide to stop paying me what he does. also if i pursue a contact order it will cost money and even if the court order contact there's not much recourse if he doesn't honour it.

H has agreed to meet today. He's agreed this before and not shown up so am prepared for him not to show up again.

i need some stuff signing but i also feel the need to look him in the eye and get some answers. i'd also intended to tell him i was going to divorce him but can't do that now.

barrister said to prepare myself for the fact that he'd got a new g/f or some such thing.

don't know how to play it now. do i just get his sig and breeze off, do i pursue the questions which i really really feel like i need answers to - even tho there might not be any answers? do i tell him as far as i'm concerned we're finished or just leave it all and get the sig i need?

am also worried that he'll pull the sympathy card and i'll fall for it all over again.

really, i just want some sort of agreement for access (but we've had them time adn again and he's not honoured it) and some answers and some closure so i can move on.

i'm worried i'll just lose it and start screaming and shouting at him too.

Hi Paddlechick (and everyone else )

I've sent you a CAT thingy xx

Hi all, good to see you CNC
Glad you feeling better Baffy
PC i think get the sig first then you can ask some questions. It's not unreasonable to want answers and to expect him to properly arrange some access rights that he will honour. I think you should tell him how you feel and what this has done to you and dd , although i would try and keep it calm if you can, even if you want to scream and shout. You deserve answers and i don't think it's unreasonable to ask for them!

hi pc

agree with lily, get the sig first, but then I really think you do need to get some answers. you deserve some!

keep calm (if you can!) but I really think you should say the things you need to say (without the divorce bit for now) and be adamant that you are not going until you have some answers!

for you, sorry!

if he tries the sympathy card, ask him where his sympathy for his own wife and daughter is! and remind yourself that no matter what his problems are, to walk away from his wife and child, and not if stick to the agreed contact, is unforgivable. his daughter needs her dad. and as a parent he has a responsibility to make sure she has that at the very least!

I really truly hope he will listen and give you some answers. You deserve it more than anyone xx

he's just texted that he's ill and can't make today's meeting.

fucking tosser! he does this every fucking time!

i've had a sleepless night over this yet again.

i am so bloody bloody angry with him.

PC not what you need to hear ! What an arse although nothing less than you expected , shame he can always be counted on to let you down.

can you go to him?

how ill can he be that he can't talk!!